Adventures in baby food making, etc.

Thank you guys for your encouraging words on my last post. I feel so much better already. I'm fairly convinced that Camden is just going to be built like his daddy- very tall & very thin. Still, I'm doing my best to help him pack on a few pounds. I now have a food processor (which is amazing, by the way) and some baby cook books, courtesy of my Momma. And now I'm determined to stop being so horrific in the kitchen. Last night, I christened the food processor by making Camden a smoothie-like creation: banana mixed with vanilla baby yogurt. I taste-tested it for him and it was so yummy! It tasted just like a milkshake. Thankfully, it was a hit. He also is now a yogurt fan; specifically, the organic banana and vanilla yogurt made with whole milk. I never thought of myself as the baby food making type, but having a baby makes you do a lot of things you thought you'd never do!



On another note, I hope everyone has a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. One of my childhood friends is coming into town. Our weekend will be filled with cook-outs, swimming, and maybe a glass of wine here and there. I'm way too excited to see Camden in his swim trunks and sunglasses.

Oh, and someone is now completely fascinated by the camera. Here he is reaching for it. I love this face because it's the exact face I often see when he leans in to give me a "kiss" (or suck on my nose). Have I mentioned lately how much I adore this kid?! Because I do. I really, really do.

Officially frustrated.

We had Camden's six month check up today. I was looking forward to it (well, minus the shots). I was most curious to hear about his weight gain. As you might remember, at his 4 month appointment, we found out that Camden dropped from the 50th percentile for weight to the 35th percentile. Our pediatrician wasn't overly concerned; she just figured my breast milk was no longer enough to sustain him and advised me to start solids. She also figured that hunger was the culprit causing his multiple night wakings. Solids, she told me, should solve that problem too. And so I excitedly went on a fruit and veggie buying spree.

Solids have been an adventure. For the first week, he wasn't sure what to make of them. It was a challenge to get him to take a couple of bites. Then, for the next several weeks after that, he really seemed to enjoy solids. He'd eat pretty much anything; he even seemed to have an affinity for peas. More recently, however, he has decided that he really doesn't care much for solids again. He tolerates bananas and sweet potatoes; occasionally he'll humor me and eat some apples. But it's often a battle to get him to take more than a few bites.

Hence, I was curious about his weight gain due to his hot/cold relationship with solids. Well, we didn't get good news. While Camden is in the 90th percentile for height, he has dropped to the 20th percentile for weight. Now, the 20th percentile might not sound terribly low, but the fact that his percentile is consistently dropping is obviously concerning.

Our pediatrician said that his slow weight gain doesn't appear to be a health issue. She asked me about his night waking and I told her that he is still waking every couple of hours and nursing. I told her that we co-sleep and, surprisingly, she told me not to move him to his crib until we have his weight issue under control. "We don't want to Ferberize a hungry baby," she told me. Fine by me! I'm not sure I want to Ferberize any baby, hungry or not.

So, our plan of action is to discontinue the Gerber baby foods. She thinks he isn't interested in them because of their bland taste and they're not very high in calories anyway. She suggested that I start blending up our table food for him. "Add butter, yogurt, sour cream," she said, "Make it high calorie and tasty."

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I'm somewhat of a disaster in the kitchen. I'm the queen of frozen chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for dinner. But I have to learn to cook. It should be an interesting challenge for me.

We're scheduled to go back to the pediatrician in a month to check his weight gain. Fingers crossed that he porks up a bit by then.

Wiggin' Out

Camden loves going to visit his cousins (who, conveniently, live right down the street from us). They always keep him entertained. Today they decided that this was a good look for Camden. I have to say that I agree. Camden, on the other hand, wasn't quite sure how he felt about his makeover:

Half a year!

Dear Camden,

It's so hard to believe that just over 6 months ago, I was watching my belly dance around as you kicked and jumped and did whatever else it was that you were doing in there. You were an active little guy in utero, and nothing has changed. At 6 months old, you are so busy. I know that once you start crawling, your daddy and I are in for it!

At 6 months old, you:

*Roll from back to belly & belly to back-- over and over and over again.
*Love your tongue. You discovered it a couple of weeks ago and it's your new favorite "toy".
*Adore your Jumperoo. Your daddy and I stare at you in awe as you jump for a half hour straight without stopping. Your energy level is astounding!
*Are trying so hard to sit. You can sit for a few seconds unassisted before you face-plant (or, ideally, Mommy catches you on the way down.)
*Aren't sure how you feel about solids. Some days you love them, other days you aren't interested at all.
*Love bananas, sweet potatoes, and apples on the days you are interested in solids. Your least favorites are green beans & peaches.
*Love going for runs with Mommy in the jogging stroller.
*Adore bathtime. All I have to say is, "Do you want to take a bath?" and you get a huge grin on your face and start squealing.
*Are outgrowing your infant tub. You don't want to lay back anymore; you want to sit up. So that results in a constant stomach crunch when you're in the infant tub.
*Like to do the "Hot Dog" dance at the end of each episode of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
*Constantly have your foot in your mouth. Those toes must be very tasty.
*Are wearing mostly 6-9 month clothing and size 2-3 diapers. We'll find out your stats at your check-up next week.
*Always want whatever Mommy is drinking. You love to chug water from my water bottle (and drool in it too.)
*May or may not be teething. You drool constantly & are always chewing on anything you can get your hands on. But we have yet to see a tooth!

I love watching you grow up. You are such a happy and loving little boy. The best part of every day is waking up to your gummy grin and early morning cuddles. Saying that you were "worth the wait" doesn't really do justice to the way I feel about you. My heart changed forever the day you were born. I had no idea it was possible to love this much. Thank you for making me a mom.

Happy birthday, Buddy. You're half a year old!

Love,
Mommy

It's a big day.

Camden has found his tongue. And it hasn't been back in his mouth since.





And this one? It has nothing to do with his tongue but it's so darn cute that I wanted to post it anyway:

Well, we survived.

And you know what? It wasn't that bad. Don't get me wrong: it wasn't pleasant. At all. But it wasn't as bad as last time.

So you know how I was just joking about the doctor & nurse remembering my crazy antics at the last appointment? Well, they totally did. When Matt, Camden, and I were taken into the treatment room, the doctor handed us our cool, neon blue sunglasses that we have to wear to protect our eyes from the lasers. When I reached out to take mine, the nurse looked over at me and asked, "You're not staying in the room, are you?"

"Oh," I said, a little embarrassed, "I guess that means you remember me from last time. I'm the crazy mom, aren't I?"

Thankfully, she was kind. And maybe a bit of a liar. "No, honey, not at all. I don't like to stay in the room either."

But, I toughed it out & chose to stay. Camden sat in Matt's lap while I watched from the sidelines. I heard the first few zaps from the laser & was amazed when silence followed. No screams, no wails, no tears. From either of us.

Unfortunately, the next zap brought the tears and lots of them. The second the treatment was over (the longest 30 seconds of my life!), I ran over and grabbed a red-faced, screaming Camden off of Matt's lap. He quieted instantly. No comfort nursing needed like last time. He slept contently the whole way home and was in good spirits this evening. Overall? It was a way less traumatic experience than last time, for all of us.

Here's his precious little hand. The red circles are actually bruises from the lasers, not his birthmark. Those bruises will fade in a couple of weeks:

And here's my happy little guy. You'd never know he was getting zapped just a few hours earlier. (By the way, these pictures are a little blurry because this kid is serious about his jumping in the Jumperoo. He'll jump for 30 minutes straight without stopping. Matt and I just stare in amazement at his energy level. I think we're in trouble when he starts walking!)

It's that time again

We're going back for Camden's second laser birthmark removal treatment this afternoon. Oh, how I hate these days. I don't know why, but I always feel this overwhelming sense of guilt whenever I know he's going to have a painful day (like when he gets vaccinations or these treatments). He's been all grins this morning, and I hate the fact that he doesn't know what's coming this afternoon. I wish I could explain to him what we're doing and why we're doing it instead of just blindsiding him but clearly that's not a realistic possibility with a baby this age.

I'm armed with infant Tylenol this time (the generic version that's not contaminated with tiny bits of metal, thank you very much), which is a luxury I didn't have last time, since his consultation appointment turned into a treatment session. I'm hoping it'll help alleviate some of his discomfort. Maybe that way I won't end up sobbing in the fetal position next to old medical equipment in the storage closet like last time. I know when the staff sees Camden's name on the schedule today, their office dialogue will go something like this:

Doctor: Who am I seeing today?
Nurse: Camden is on the schedule for 3 this afternoon.
Doctor: Camden...which one is he?
Nurse: The cute little blue-eyed boy with the birthmark on his wrist?
Doctor: Hmm...doesn't ring any bells.
Nurse: You know...the one with the neurotic mother who was in tears before we even started lasering. And then she hid in the storage closet?
Doctor: Oh, right. The crazy lady! Well, hopefully Camden doesn't bring her this afternoon.

I'll probably post some pictures of his sad little hand this afternoon. Wish us luck.

Sunday Recap

Camden lounging at Aunt Lauren & Uncle Jeff's house, where we went for Mother's Day brunch.

Camden's cousin, Alex, giving him a kiss.

My mom (known to her grandkids as "Nan") loving on Camden.

And, finally, all of Nan & Pop's (my parents) grandkids pictured together for the first time:

From left to right- Jacob, Will (the newest addition), Alex, & Camden. Taking this picture was an exercise in patience and persistence. We finally had some success around take 785 or so.

Mother's Day

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

It's my first Mother's Day and I feel so overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed with happiness, with love, with pride; being a mother is truly the greatest gift I've ever been given. There aren't any words to describe the bond between mother and child, but I often feel it. When I see my son's smile first thing in the morning, I feel it. When I notice his eyes scanning the room searching for me in a crowd, I feel it. When I hear him laugh and squeal, I feel it. When I know that he prefers my comfort to all others, I feel it. I look at him and I'm in awe that I am responsible for one-half of something so perfect. What a blessing the past 6 months have been.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there-- the first time mommas and the old pros.

And to my wonderful mom specifically-- thank you. Just thank you for being the kind of mom that you are and always have been. And if you ever need a reminder of how awesome you are, you can find it here. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if I'm even a fraction of the kind of mom to Camden that you are to me, I'll know I'm doing an amazing job. After all, I learned from the best.

Adventures in Lunchtime

Mr. Independent has decided he no longer needs my help when eating solids. Every time I move a spoonful of whatever delicious delicacy is on the menu towards his mouth, he grabs the spoon with all his might and proceeds to shove it into his mouth by himself.

In theory, this sounds wonderful. Mommy can pop the top off a jar of pureed peas, hand it over to Camden, and prop her feet up while reading a magazine as the world's most self-reliant 5-month-old chows down on his lunch.

That's the theory. Reality goes something like this:

Camden grabs the spoon from my hand, sweet potatoes go flying onto his arms and into his eyebrows, the spoon gets shoved halfway down his throat, and the gag reflex kicks in.

I need to figure out a way to keep those busy (and surprisingly strong!) little hands away from the spoon as it enters his mouth. Do they make baby arm restraints for mealtime? Don't worry, I'm only kidding.

(Kind of.)

Coming out of the (co-sleeping) closet

The thing I've noticed about moms that I never knew before having a baby is that there seems to be this battle between co-sleeping & breastfeeding mommas and formula feeding & crib-sleeping mommas. Any mom who frequents one of the many mommy message boards out there has undoubtedly seen the battle firsthand. A mom will create a post, and her auto signature at the end of her post will say, "Julie, EBF/co-sleeping/BBW/AP momma". And then she'll get a response from Tiffany, whose auto-signature goes something like this: "Tiffany #1 FF, CS, Vacc. Momma!"

Oh, the acronyms! Oh, the ridiculousness!

(For those who don't frequent mommy boards, Julie exclusively breastfeeds, co-sleeps, is pro-babywearing & advocates Attachment Parenting. Tiffany formula feeds her child, her child sleeps in a crib, and she advocates vaccinations. Oh, and Julie & Tiffany? They're totally made up. But there are a million mommies just like them on any given board.)

Here's the deal: I co-sleep. I don't do this because I think Camden needs to be with me every single second of every day (and night) or he'll grow up feeling unloved and insecure. During the day, he's quite an independent little guy. I co-sleep at night because it's easier for us. It's really that simple.

One of the biggest lessons I'm (still) learning as a parent is that you have to do what works for your family. It doesn't matter what's going on at Sally and Bill's house next door. It doesn't matter what your cousin's best friend's sister-in-law does with her child. What matters is that your child is happy & healthy, and your parenting style works for your family.

I'll be honest: I tried crib sleeping. Oh, did I ever try. There were a couple of weeks worth of sleepless nights (for both Camden and me) back when I was doing sleep training. And while his sleep training worked remarkably well to extend his catnaps and get him on a routine during the day, it did nothing for his multiple night wakings. I was exhausted, discouraged, frustrated, and just burned out. And so one night, I put him back in bed with us and that's where he's stayed. Yes, he still wakes up during the night, but he's able to fall back asleep more quickly & easily with me right there. That, in turn, means I'm able to fall back asleep more quickly & easily too. An added bonus is that Matt doesn't mind the extra company in bed.

Co-sleeping isn't for everyone. There are nights when I'm sandwiched between Matt and Camden and all I want to do is stretch out my arms and legs and just have my own space! There are nights when I wince as a tiny foot jabs me in the ribs. But then there are the mornings when I wake up to Camden's sweet smile and I realize how much I love having another bed-mate.

The thing is, these days won't last long (cue Darius Rucker, please). As with most issues in child-rearing, this is just a phase. What's working for us now might not work next month or even next week. Flexibility is key. Instinct is also key.

Oh, and for the record? If I was pretentious enough to have an auto-signature summing up my parenting style (don't worry, I'm not), it would read something like this:

Kerri-
I breastfeed because it's cheaper & convenient. I co-sleep so Camden and I are both well-rested. I vaccinate on schedule because, well, I trust my pediatrician. And I only babywear when I'm out somewhere because have you tried lugging a 15 pound little boy around the house all day? No thanks! Also, I hate acronyms. That is all.

Workin' for the Weekend

Since Daddy works all week & gets home close to Camden's bedtime, weekends have become Camden and Daddy time. They make a cute pair, don't they?

Road Trips and Stranger Anxiety

Last week, I received my weekly update email from Babycenter.com alerting me to the fact that it's about time for Camden to develop stranger anxiety. Normally, I'd give an email like that barely a passing thought, but since we were a couple of days away from embarking on his very first road trip to meet his great-grandmother, I worried. I didn't want my grandmother's first impression of my happy-go-lucky, friendly baby to be that of a screaming, frantic basketcase. And I also wanted to be sensitive to Camden's needs during this emotional milestone.

We arrived at my Grandma's house (it feels so weird to say "my Grandma's house"; she was always one-half of "Grandma & Papa"...more on that later) & Camden was in good spirits. He stared at his new surroundings, broke out into a big grin when he saw my Grandma's dog (this child loves animals), and just seemed generally content. And then my Grandma reached out her arms to hold Camden. Enter: Stranger Anxiety. It feels weird to call my grandmother a stranger, but to Camden, she was. And as she wrapped her arms around him, he looked at me with wide eyes as if asking, Mommy, who is this lady and why are you giving me to her?! And then his face crumbled and I knew what was coming next: the tears.

My grandmother handled the situation gracefully. She raised 3 children of her own; she knew what to expect. She handed Camden back to me quickly, knowing he needed to feel the comfort and security of my arms. As soon as I was holding him again, he looked back at Grandma and offered her one of his biggest grins as a consolation. And he spent the rest of the time at her house just smiling away at her...as long as I was holding him. But you know what? That was okay. Grandma enjoyed his smiles and chatter as he took in his new surroudings and Camden got to experience all of this newness without feeling insecure. Win-win.

On another note, being at "just Grandma's" house was so strange. This was my first trip to her home since my grandfather passed away almost a year ago (side note: this is the same grandfather that Camden is named after). It's interesting to me that Papa's absence was just as powerful as his presence. I could feel him in every single room in that house. I could imagine the way he'd look at Camden. I could almost hear the things he'd say to my son. I hate that Camden will never know him, but I so look forward to the day he asks me about his middle name and I get to tell him all about Papa.

Overall, I'd say Camden's first road trip was a huge success, complete with meeting new relatives, successful hotel naps, dinners out, and minimal-fuss car rides. Mission accomplished.