Good Intentions

So I've had really, really great intentions about writing a post a few different times this week. There was the post I was going to write about Camden's ridiculously severe stranger anxiety (and I'll probably get to that eventually). And then there was the post that I was definitely going to write about how Camden pretty much took most of his 9th month off in the development department (I think he decided to just cruise through that month perfecting old skills instead of working on new ones). But then his 10th month hit & BAM! He became a toddler. Okay, so not totally a toddler, but he added "mamama", "dadada", "bababa" and what sounds an awful lot like "byebyebye" to his previously non-existent vocabulary. And then he started to wave. And stand on his own for a few seconds at a time. And-- wait for it-- take a clumsy step or two towards me before collapsing and grinning with pride. (Okay, so maybe I did just write that post after all.)

But this week has been insanely busy and time just got away from me. My good intentions never produced actual posts. Let's just say I was a tad overwhelmed with school work, field study observations in my friend's classroom, dealing with a child who decided he was going to take a week off from being an awesome napper and return to his catnapping ways, and (the best part of all) PACKING FOR THE BEACH!

That's right. We are hittin' the road and heading to the Outer Banks for an entire week. This will be Camden's first beach trip and I can't wait to see what he thinks of the ocean and the sand and spending a week in a big, fun beach house with his parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins and even one great-grandparent.

Stay tuned for plenty of pictures.

It's moments like these.

It's moments like these when I realize that I am no longer the mother of a wee baby. I don't know if it's the gym shorts that look like a miniature version of his daddy's or just the grown up expression he's making in this picture. Maybe a little of both? Whatever it is, it's moments like these when I remember to snuggle my guy a little closer, carry him around a little longer, & rally through those late night awakenings. Because, you know something? Babyhood doesn't last forever. And this picture is proof.

It's kind of like dating.

Okay, I finally get it. I totally understand how important it is to really like your child's pediatrician. My mom told me, my sister told me, you guys all told me-- & still, I just kind of shrugged it off. I mean, I vented and moaned and groaned about Dr. Obsessive (probably more often than you guys cared to read), but I also felt like making a change might've been a bigger hassle than I felt like dealing with. I was becoming indifferent.

Then came yesterday. Camden has been sick for the past few days, and after wiping a particularly gushy nose yesterday morning, I decided to go ahead and call the pediatrician. The doctor available was the same man I'd tried (unsuccessfully) to reschedule Camden's appointment with a month ago. And you guys, he was awesome. Amazing with Camden.

Knowing that Camden was in the throes of stranger anxiety, he walked quietly into the examination room. (He won points with me at that moment. Dr. Obsessive used to barge in with a "HELLLOOOOO, HOW ARE WEEEE DOING?!" and send Camden into hysterical tears right off the bat.) He talked quietly to Camden from across the room while Camden studied his face uncertainly. Then, before checking Camden's ears, he walked over and showed Camden all of the equipment he was going to use. He let Camden touch it. Bottom line: he took his time to make sure Camden felt comfortable with him-- something that Dr. O never did. She was always rushed, talking 90 miles an hour, and practically leaving a cloud of dust behind as she sprinted out of the room after a 5 minute meeting.

I seriously could've hugged Dr. Wonderful. Even though he diagnosed my poor baby with an ear infection. He was kind, attentive, understanding, and patient. And he got bonus points for giving Camden a toy taped together out of two tongue depressors.

I understand now. It's kind of like dating. You don't know what you're missing when you're dating all of the wrong people. Maybe they're not awful, maybe they're even good people who mean well-- but they don't wow you. Then you meet the one who does wow you, & you wonder how on earth you put up with all of that mediocrity before.

Dr. Wonderful is The One.


(Don't worry-- he couldn't stand in for Dr. McSteamy on Grey's. He's older than my father. He's The One in a strictly professional sense. ;)

Happy 10 months, Camden.

Dear Camden,


You are 10 months old! Just reading those words feels surreal to me. How could it be that my tiny lump of sleeping newborn is now on the verge of his first birthday? People always warned me that, when you have children, time starts to go by in turbo speed. They were right. But the past 10 months have been filled with lots of laughter, some tears, lots of sleepless nights, many smiles, tons of happiness, and more love than I ever could have imagined. You, my son, continue to be the best part of every single day.


At 10 months, you:

• Could win crawling races, I'm convinced. You are FAST. You can make it from one room to the next in just a few seconds.
• Are pulling up to stand and cruising around all of the furniture.
• Love to climb up the stairs. Too bad (for you) that we finally got a gate to stop you from partaking in this favorite past time.
• Walk all around with your push toys. Even when you fall over, you pull yourself back up to a standing position and keep right on going.
• Have now officially been sick twice. You went almost 9 months with no illnesses at all (not even a cold) & then caught 2 icky viruses in a month. Boo.
• Like to play "give me five"!
• Love to shake your head at people. And to copy people when they shake their head at you. You even copy your toys when Mommy makes them shake their heads at you.
• Are still Gummy McGee! No teeth yet for you.
• Just completed your fourth birthmark treatment. Hopefully there won't be too many more in store for you.
• Have terrible stranger anxiety. You cling to me and cry when placed in a room with unfamiliar people. It doesn't bother you, though, to be out in public places (restaurants, shopping, etc.) with strangers.
• Sometimes dance when music comes on. ADORABLE. Lately you've also been copying your daddy when he dances.
• Understand "no no" but don't always obey it. I mean, sometimes the dog food is just too tempting.
• Find the tiniest particles on the floor, stairs, carpet, ground outside, etc. to pick up and study. Sometimes you also attempt to eat them. Note to Mommy: vacuum more often.
• Adore your pets. You will hold out your hand to give Maggie a toy (or food) and will laugh hysterically when she takes it from you. You also love petting Snickers and chasing her under the dining room table.
• Will turn your head to find Mommy, Daddy, Maggie, Snickers, Baby (doll) when asked where they are.
• Are getting better at feeding yourself finger foods but still don't have the greatest aim.
• Enjoy eating yogurt, cheese, mac & cheese, pasta, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, graham crackers, & toast. You are starting to turn down the Gerber pureed foods.
• Have pretty much mastered the sippy cup. You love your (diluted) apple juice.
• Are a champion napper but still a pretty terrible night sleeper (I will throw a party the first time you sleep through the night.)
• Continue to love Special Agent Oso on Playhouse Disney.
• Are constantly crawling around while pushing a toy car, truck, or train.
• Love to read books. Your favorites right now are the peek-a-boo & doggie books.
• Are nursing about 4 times a day (and a couple of times at night.)
• Are babbling!!! Just a few days ago, you got really mad and started voicing your frustrations with "babababa". The next day, you added "dadada" to your vocabulary. We are thrilled that you are now "talking" to us.
• Love to throw things & play throw the ball with Mommy & Daddy.
• Still love blowing raspberries and will even do them on your arm or my arm.
• Are a very happy and active little boy. The only time you stop moving is when you are sleeping.

It is very hard to get a decent picture of you these days because of the last point mentioned-- you are ALWAYS on the go! Here's the best I could do (while you were trying to pull the camera out of my hands):

Happy 10 months to my favorite little guy. You are so loved.

Love,

Mommy

Cha-Cha-Cha Changes

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about how much my life has changed in the past year.

Besides the obvious physical differences in myself between this year and last (meaning that I am no longer enormously pregnant and running to the bathroom every 5 minutes), there are so many ways in which my life is completely different.

A year ago, I was working full-time. I'd wake up early in the morning, head to the office, and spend all day interviewing people. In between meeting with candidates, my days were spent eating lunch at my desk while catching up with celebrity gossip online or chatting with my co-workers. I'd come home at the end of the day, exhausted and ready to plop on the couch for a couple of hours. Since I spent most of my work days talking to other adults, I'd welcome those couple of hours of solitude before Matt arrived home from work. When he did get home, we'd eat dinner on the couch while watching Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune. Then I'd stay up too late watching trashy reality TV shows before I'd call it a night & start all over again the next day. Rinse and repeat. And that was my life. It was predictable and organized. I was a perfectionist and a planner.

And here I sit today. Camden is finishing up his morning nap, and I am blogging while surrounded by toy cars, trucks, and trains. I'm not so sure I know what organization is anymore. A year ago, if my family room looked the way it does at this very moment, I'd be hyperventilating while frantically cleaning up. Now, I look at Camden's grocery shopping cart lying sideways on the floor and I picture him pushing it while the cart sings "Here we go to the market!" And it makes me smile and so I leave it exactly where it is so he'll be able to find it right away when he wakes up.

Today, I'm a stay-at-home mom. It's after noon, and I haven't yet showered or changed out of my pajamas. Long gone are the days of business suits, carefully applied makeup, and high heels. Instead of joking around with co-workers, my days are spent singing "The Wheels on the Bus" and reading about baby Elmo. Sitting in an office chair for 8 hours has been replaced by holding tiny, chubby hands as Camden walks around our house (over and over again), exploring his world.

Yes, life is very different now. The perfectionist in me is slowly dying because kids don't allow for perfectionism. And that's a beautiful thing. My life is no longer neat and orderly and organized. It's loud and busy and messy. But for the first time in a very long time (in fact, maybe for the first time ever), I am completely content. I feel at peace. I know that I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing (including finishing my teaching licensure). I'm just happy.

I'm certainly not saying that life is all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. Not at all. In fact, my life is full of more dirty diapers than rainbows and more sleepless nights than butterflies or unicorns. Do I miss sleeping in until 10 on Saturday mornings? Umm, that goes without saying. Do I sometimes wish I could sit through an entire episode of the Bachelor Pad (don't judge me) without interruption? Of course I do. But this New Life of mine? It's so much richer, so much more rewarding, and so much fuller than my Old Life. And in spite of (or maybe because of?) all of its imperfections, it is actually pretty perfect.

Goodbye, Summer

The close of summer means that school is back in session. It means we can say goodbye to the sweltering 100 degree days. Cooler weather is on the way and will be welcomed with open arms. The close of summer means shorter days and longer nights. It means colorful leaves and jeans and long sleeved shirts. The close of summer means that Thanksgiving and Christmas are on their way and The Big Event (Camden's first birthday) is right around the corner.

Know what else it means? Lots and lots of football. Camden's ready.

This actually happened.

The other day Camden and I took a trip to the Carter's outlet store with my mom (who is known as Nan to her grandchildren). We needed to stock up on some fall and winter clothes for Camden now that it's September (!!). When we arrived, Mom headed off to look for a gift for a family friend who recently had a baby girl. Camden and I ventured to the back of the store to check out the large display marked 50% off. (My frugal husband would've been so proud!) I noticed that most of the clothing in Camden's size was towards the bottom of the rack so I sat Camden on the floor and knelt down next to him while I sifted through the heavily discounted items. When I stood up a few minutes later, I saw my mom's frantic face across the store and I realized immediately what had happened. I was sitting on the floor with Camden for about 5 minutes. She couldn't find us. She flipped out.

Now you all know I'm a worrier. I've made no secret about that on this blog. If there's a way to worry about something, you can count on me to find it. But my mom is the Queen of all Worriers. It's endearing, really, but sometimes can get a tad out of hand. Like that day at Carter's.

So right after I noticed my mom's panicked face, I saw a couple of store employees with her. When she couldn't find me, she told one of the employees that she was looking for her daughter. They asked what I was wearing, and Mom said she couldn't recall (no worries, Mom- it was a very forgettable outfit). Then the ladies set out to help my mom find me. (Meanwhile, I'm happily admiring baby jeans and football tees completely unaware any of this is unfolding.)

Mom then notices one of the nice, helpful ladies looking in the clothing racks. Like inside them. Mom looked at her in confusion and the helpful employee explained, "Oh, sometimes they like to hide inside of the racks."

The employee was looking for me inside of the clothing racks.

My mom explained to her that I was, in fact, a grown woman & unlikely to play a game of hide-and-seek in Carter's. Fortunately, it was about that time that Camden and I surfaced and the whole search was called off.

For the record, I've never hidden inside of a clothing rack. Not when I was a kid, and certainly not now that I'm almost 30. Promise.


(Mom, we love you & your neurotic ways. You're the best.)