Scariest Night Ever.

Over the past couple of years, I've read some posts by fellow bloggers about babies falling off changing tables and beds, or falling down stairs. And I've also read some tragic posts about babies falling into swimming pools or into canals. My reaction is always the same: I get a sick knot in my stomach and have to stop reading the entry. And, as sympathetic as I might feel towards these parents and certainly towards the babies, I will admit that this thought always crosses my mind: How did they let that happen?!

As parents, it's our job to protect our children and keep them safe. I am an extremely overprotective parent. It could be argued that I'm borderline overbearing. I follow two steps behind my son when he's walking outside so that I can catch him if he happens to stumble. I avoid people (even relatives!) if they have so much as the sniffles, because it breaks my heart to see Camden sick. He sleeps in our bedroom because I feel more comfortable having him close by, where I can keep an eye on him even during the wee hours of the night.

And still, we had an accident here a few nights ago. One of those kinds of accidents that I'd read about on other blogs and wince and think: How could this have happened?!! My answer: it only takes a second. And even the most meticulous, overprotective, control-freak parents sometimes look away for a second.

So let me give you a brief set-up of our house before I tell you about the scariest night of my life.

When you walk up our stairs and head left, you'll find Camden's room & Camden's future playroom (currently under construction) across the hallway from each other. If you head right when you walk up the stairs, you'll find the gym room & the theater room directly across from each other. Hopefully that gives you a decent visual. This tour of our house is relevant, I promise.

And here's our staircase. Scary steep, right? I know.



A few nights ago, Matt, Camden, and I were upstairs in his playroom. Matt was disassembling a bed that was in there, since this room used to be a guest bedroom. Camden was playing with some of the toys we'd already set up in the room. I was sitting next to Camden. Matt opened the playroom door so he could start moving the bed into our gym room (which, as you recall, is down the hallway). Camden immediately jumped up to follow his daddy out of the room. Of course, I jumped up as well and followed a couple of steps behind Camden, since Matt was too busy moving furniture to supervise.

At this point, Matt walked into the gym room and started putting the pieces of the bed down. Camden followed him into the room. I stood out in the hallway by the gym room door, but turned my back briefly to look at the screen in the theater room across the hallway. Matt didn't notice Camden leave the gym room because he was busy rearranging bed parts. I didn't hear Camden walk less than a foot behind me as he passed me in the hallway.

But I heard this loud and clear: an awful, terrifying, will-never-forget-it-as-long-as-I-live CRASH. I swear my heart stopped when I heard that sound. I literally froze in place for several seconds trying to determine the source of the crash. I think Matt and I realized what happened at the exact same moment. We both sprinted towards the stairs, white-faced, and in a state of panic. There were screams as we looked down to see Camden at the bottom of the stairs. I don't remember Matt running down the stairs, but I do remember him being at Camden's side. Meanwhile, I stayed at the top of the stairs screaming & asking if we needed to call 911.

Miraculously (and I don't use this word lightly; truly, I think this was a miracle), Camden was totally fine. Yes, he screamed his head off for about 5 minutes. Then he wiggled to get out of my arms, climbed down, and walked straight over to his favorite toy. He turned it on and started playing as if nothing had happened.

I was completely unconvinced that a one year old could take a spill like that and walk away unscathed. "We need to take him to the hospital to have everything X-rayed", I remember saying repeatedly. But we wiggled legs, bent arms, touched fingers and toes, ran our hands along his rib cage, felt his back and belly, and checked his head for bumps. Everything was in tact. That didn't stop me, however, from watching Camden sleep for several hours that night.

This story could've had a much different outcome- a busted lip, broken limbs, paralysis, or worse. We were lucky. I share this experience to drive home the point that it truly does only take a second for an accident like this to happen. Also, if you have a mobile baby & have been delaying babyproofing, get on it ASAP. (We have a safety gate at the bottom of the stairs but had put off ordering one for the top since we don't spend much time up there. Two days before this accident, our gate for the top arrived at the house but it was missing a couple of parts that we needed to install it. Those parts arrived today and you can bet that gate will be installed the second Matt walks in the door tonight.)

The Christmas Tree? It's a hit.

Camden was much too young to show any interest in last year's tree. This year, though, he's mesmerized. He constantly walks into the dining room to admire it. And then, as I hold him up, he points out his favorite ornaments to me. It's so much fun getting to experience the holidays through his little eyes.

Happy Thanksgiving...slightly late.

To say that this Thanksgiving and last year's Thanksgiving had some contrasts would be an understatement.

Last year, I had a brand spankin' new baby at home. I was averaging a couple of hours of (interrupted) sleep per night. My body was a hurricane of post-partum hormones. And yet, Matt & I still decided it would be a good idea for us to host both sides of the family at our home for Thanksgiving. (No, I wasn't cooking. I'm not that insane.) Most of that day is a blur to me, but I do recall a few things: I was in that awkward phase where I no longer looked pregnant, but I couldn't wear any of my old clothes without looking like a hooker (read: my jeans might as well have been painted on). I think I tried on about 5 outfits before settling on something that wasn't completely frumptastic that morning. Then Camden wet his adorable "Thankful for Mommy" onesie probably about 30 seconds after I put it on him. I also remember motioning for my sister to join me in a corner of the kitchen and then whispering to her, "I am still bleeding. Is this normal?!" (Little did I know, I had about 8 more weeks of that fun left!) By the end of the day, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed with Camden. And I think I did just that-- around 5pm.

This year, we hosted Thanksgiving for both families once again (albeit on different days). Camden played independently or with his cousins for most of the day. We ate delicious food, talked, laughed, & watched lots of football. It couldn't have been more perfect. And I even waited until almost 10pm before I went to bed this year (gasp!).

A couple of things didn't change between this year and last year, though.

1. I am so incredibly thankful for my husband, my son, and my wonderful family. The holidays tend to bring out the sentimental side in everyone, but I really do make a conscious effort to count my blessings every day of the year.

2. Camden wet his Thanksgiving outfit. Again. (Hence the wardrobe change in the pictures to follow)

I realize I'm perhaps a tad biased, but this is one handsome (and grown up looking!) kid:

The Original Five (My awesome family):



Me & the Momma:



Camden & Mommy:



A Family shot:



Camden & my baby brother (visiting from Chicago), otherwise known as Uncle Chris:



And here's Camden & his Pop (my dad):



As I've mentioned before, my older sister, Lauren has 3 boys. Her youngest, Will, is just 5 months younger than Camden. They're going to be best buddies when they're older. How cute are they?!







You can't really tell in this picture, but Camden and his cousin Alex were dancing to the music the ball popper makes. It was pretty darn precious:



And, finally, this is what we call the Look of Love (Camden was watching his Uncle Jeff carry around his oldest cousin, Jacob, on his shoulders):


(As always, thanks to my sister, Lauren, for being the family photographer.)

Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!

The Big Day Recap

Camden's first birthday party had all of the makings of a Recipe for Disaster. The day before the party, we discovered that a very fussy, clingy Camden also had a low-grade fever. I immediately took him to the doctor, suspecting another ear infection. Fortunately, there was no ear infection to accompany his cold this time. Unfortunately, the pediatrician noted how inflamed and swollen his top gums were and deemed the culprit behind his discomfort to be teething.

Teething + Runny nose + Stranger Anxiety = A Recipe for Party Disaster

So, you can imagine how much I was looking forward to hosting 20+ people at my house the next day. I was having visions (nightmares?!) of a snot-nosed, crying baby spending the duration of the party on my hip.

And even though we only got about 3 hours of sleep the night before the party, it turned out to be SUCH a great day. Really, it couldn't have been better. Camden's teething pain seemed to take a back seat to the fun and excitement surrounding him. And that stranger anxiety? Dare I say it's improving? Instead of bursting into tears when approached by a not-so-familiar relative or friend, he would simply stare inquisitively.

And now, for pictures:

It was a beautiful day outside. Camden had so much fun pushing his car around the backyard, playing ball, and hangin' with the big kids:





Here's Camden with his cousins & honorary cousins. The only one missing is Camden's cousin and sidekick, Will, who was partaking in the Boobie Bar when this picture was taken:



And here's Will, clearly enjoying one of Camden's gifts. Tasty!



Camden enjoyed his cake. I even found some in his diaper when I changed him later:









And, finally: "I've had enough of this party. I'm outta here!"

Happy First Birthday, Camden

Click here to view Camden's first year slideshow.

Dear Camden,

Where has this first year gone? It seems like only yesterday I was feeling you roll around in my belly (and kick me in the ribs!) while I anxiously awaited your arrival.

And then came November 21, 2009. The biggest, happiest, most important day of my life to date (well, the day I married your daddy was pretty good too). After a relatively easy labor (if there is such a thing), you came out all on your own, when I wasn't even pushing. You were a determined, active go-getter from day one.

The minute I held you in my arms and kissed your tiny blonde head, I was in love. Deeply, fully, completely. Some say it's not possible to bond with a little stranger so quickly. I know otherwise. You were no stranger to me. You were a part of our family from the very first breath you breathed.

The earliest days weren't always easy. As a clumsy first-time mom learning the ropes, there were many days (and late nights, and early mornings) when I cried. I also worried. A lot. I wanted to make sure I was always doing what was best for you. I knew that being your mother was the most important job in the world, the biggest task I had ever undertaken in my 29 years, and I wanted to do it perfectly.

Thankfully, I learned over the next couple of months that there is no perfection in motherhood. That's half the beauty of it. It's unpredictable, demanding, exhausting, occasionally frustrating, and certainly not perfect. But you know what else I learned? Motherhood, and specifically being YOUR mother, is the best job in the world. I would not trade a moment of this first year with you for anything, ever.

Thanks to your fantastic dad, I have been able to stay at home with you during this past year. What a gift that has been. When I was pregnant, I often worried that being a stay-at-home mom was not for me. I thought I would miss getting dressed up in the mornings and going to work. I thought I would miss the interaction with other adults on a daily basis. And while sometimes there are moments when I think of those things longingly, those moments are fleeting. Because I have had the time of my life being at home with you every day. I love that I am there for every single moment of your life-- both big and small. I remind myself every day not to take it for granted.

There is a framed picture of you taken at one of my first ultrasounds sitting on the side of our bathtub. The frame reads "Miracle". And while my active, handsome, joyful, blonde-haired, blue-eyed son bares no resemblance to the gray form floating in that picture, you still are our miracle child. It was a long road to bring you into our lives, but I would turn around and do it all over again in a heartbeat. Saying that you were worth the wait doesn't do it justice.

Your dad and I often joke that if we could have custom-created a child, you would have been the outcome of that creation (well, maybe we would have selected the "sleeps through the night" button, but we can't have it all now, can we?). Really and truly, you are the perfect match for our family. You are the ideal combination of sweet and silly. You're active and independent, but never hesitate to walk over to your Daddy or me for some cuddling. You're a bit on the shy side, but you love big and enthusiastically with people you know and trust. You're curious, you're eager, and you're kind. You have the best laugh in the world and your kisses melt my heart.

This past year has been such a blessing. You've made your Daddy and me better people-- more patient, more loving, more thankful. I wouldn't think it possible if I didn't already know it was true: I love you more with every passing day. You're my son, my first-born, and you'll always be the one who made me a mommy.

Happy first birthday, Camden Miller. You are so loved.

Love,
Mommy

And that's why I give instructions.

This morning, my mom and I went to do a little Christmas shopping for Camden. He was napping when we left and as I rushed out the door, I gave Matt a couple quick instructions.

"Here's his outfit for the day," I said, gesturing towards a tiny pair of jeans & a camoflauge onesie. "Oh, and he'll probably want a snack when he wakes up. I'll do lunch when I get home so just give him something small. Like maybe graham crackers, cheese, or..."

I trailed off when I saw Matt's annoyed expression. I knew what he was thinking. I can handle this. He's my child too. I'm not a moron.

It's not that I doubt his abilities as a parent. Not at all. It's just that I spend all day, every day with Camden & I know his routine inside-out.

But after getting the look from Matt, I quit with the directions, said my goodbyes & headed out to shop.

Fast forward 2 hours. I walk in the door to see Camden playing happily with his daddy, dressed in the very outfit I laid out. Perfect. And then:

"Hey, guess what I gave him for a snack?" Matt asked me.
"What?" I started to get a little nervous.
"I thought it was leftover grape food...."

My mind is racing at this point. Grape food?! What on earth is that?! Does he think that's a flavor Gerber makes? Did he feed Camden grape jelly?

"...it was actually prunes." He continued, laughing.

I keep an emergency carton of Stage 1 Gerber prunes in the pantry in case of constipation. Correction: I used to keep an emergency carton of prunes in the pantry. They are now gone. Because Camden ate them. For a snack.

I was actually slightly impressed that he somehow coaxed Camden into eating half of the container. Poor kid. He was probably thinking Daddy is lots of fun, but I sure do prefer Mommy's snack choices.

Oh well. Like I told Matt, he's no worse for the wear. But Matt will be changing the next dirty diaper. I'm not going near that thing.

Walk like...Tick Tock?

My son is walking! Camden started taking a couple of steps at a time several weeks ago. In the past week, though, he has truly begun to master walking & can almost cross an entire room before plopping down on his diapered butt.

While watching Camden practice this new skill, I've had that Bangles song "Walk like an Egyptian" stuck on a loop in my head. But the truth is, Camden walks nothing like an Egyptian. Actually, he walks a lot more like Tick Tock from Return to Oz. Does anyone else remember that movie besides my sister & me? If you do remember that "sequel" to The Wizard of Oz, perhaps you recall this loveable character:

And if you remember him, then maybe you recall his unsteady but determined walk. And Camden's version of the Tick Tock walk? Is so unbearably adorable.

I CAN NOT BELIEVE MY BABY IS WALKING.

And on a lighter note (Happy Halloween!)

We took our little lion trick-or-treating with his cousins and some neighbors last night. And by "trick-or-treating" I mean that we strolled him around to a couple of houses & let him watch as the big kids rang doorbells and shouted out "Trick or Treat!" He might have even scored a couple of bags of Skittles for his parents. I can neither confirm nor deny that information.

Camden & Mommy:

The family shot:


Camden and his Nan:


With my parents (Nan & Pop)-- he's not so sure about the costume right now:


The cutest lion I've ever seen:


Making himself comfortable for the ride:


Happy Halloween!