Mommy Speech Tips, Part 1

Admittedly, having a child with a speech delay doesn't automatically make me an SLP. However, while therapy (with the right SLP) is awesome and can work wonders for children with speech delays and communication disorders, I think most moms will tell you that therapy can't end when the session with the professional is over. Working with your child at home is critically important to retention of skills learned in therapy, and even developing new ones. So, from my completely non-professional point of view, here is Part 1 of my Mommy Speech Therapy Tips:

(When writing these tips, my assumption is that the child I'm working with is largely non-verbal, as my son was just a few short months ago.)

Work on imitation first.

When you have a non-verbal child, it's hard to know where to start. You might point to the family dog and look at your child hopefully while saying, "Can you say 'doggie'?" And you'll likely get a blank stare back.

At 19 months old, my son was basically non verbal (he babbled and could say "mama"). He also could imitate any physical activity without hesitation but if you asked him to imitate a word, or even a simple sound, he wouldn't know where to begin. After having Camden evaluated by an Early Intervention SLP, she emphasized the need to work on his imitation skills. Imitation, she said, is a building block for communication.

So, we started simple. I made sure Camden knew what a "turn" was through play. If we were working on a puzzle, I'd put a piece in and say "Mommy's turn". Then I'd hand the next piece over to Camden and say, "Camden's turn." Rinse and repeat. When it became clear that he knew what a "turn" was, I started using that word to attempt to get him to imitate simple sounds. While reading a book about farm animals, I'd moo like a cow. Then I'd say, "Camden's turn!" excitedly and I'd pause several seconds and wait for a response. For a few weeks, there was nothing but silence and I'd simply move on. Then one evening before bed, I told Camden it was his turn to moo and paused like usual, fully expecting silence. And then I heard it. A quiet but unmistakable "Mmm". I showered him with praise. After that breakthrough, his imitation skills developed day by day. Today, 4 months later, he will attempt to imitate almost any sound or word.

Sign Language:

To sign or not to sign? That is the debate. Some professionals say signing will lead to kids talking later because they're getting their needs met through sign language. Others say that's simply not the case because, as kids learn words, they drop the sign for that particular word. I tend to agree with the latter point of view, as does Camden's current SLP. And sign language? Has been an absolute life saver for us.

When it became clear that Camden had a speech delay (around 18 months), I became serious about teaching him sign language. Prior to that time, I had half-heartedly taught him to sign "more" and "all done", which he used on occasion. Then, after buying the "Baby Signing Time" DVD and Camden having no interest in watching it, I decided to become Camden's sign language teacher myself (sidenote: I've heard from many, many other parents that their kids love the "Baby Signing Time" DVDs, so don't let Camden's disinterest in them discourage you from trying that route). So how did I learn sign language? My good friend Google taught me (seriously- just Google "baby sign language" and you will find plenty of resources). So, I'd learn the sign myself, and then I'd show it to Camden while saying the word. Then I'd take it a step further by actually manipulating Camden's hands to make the sign so he could feel what it was supposed to feel like to sign the word. And then we practiced. A lot.

A few tips? Accept your child's interpretation of the sign, whatever that may be. Most will at least remotely resemble the real sign; some will not at all. Either way, that's your child's sign. Learn it and roll with it. Also, if your child picks up many signs easily but has no interest in learning a few signs here and there, move on. Don't get stuck on a single sign-- your time is better spent finding other useful signs that your child will pick up more easily. Finally, start by using signs that are highly motivating for your child. For example, Camden is a huge fan of playing outside. Naturally, I taught him to sign "outside". He picked that sign up instantly because he wanted to be able to tell me when he wanted to go outside (which is every second of every day).

Make Play a Learning Experience.

One of the first things I did after Camden's initial Early Intervention evaluation was to get an animal farm set. It's nothing fancy; it's a tractor and a cow, horse, pig, and sheep (I also added a dog and cat separately). If your child is all or mostly non-verbal, starting with animal sounds and environmental sounds is a great first step. For weeks, I sat on the floor with Camden mooing, oinking, and neighing while he laughed and chased the animals around with the tractor. He wasn't making animal sounds, but I had no doubt that he was absorbing the ones I was making. Sure enough, after several weeks, he would say "baba" when he picked up the sheep, or would say "nnn" when I asked him what sound a horse made. He was paying attention, alright.

Camden has always been a fan of cars. Cars are a great tool for in-home speech therapy. We still play with them almost nightly. When Camden was non-verbal, I'd simply push the cars around with him while saying "vroooom!" and "wheee!" Tonight, we played cars and Camden said "oooh!" (go) when he wanted me to push my car and "wheee!" when we pushed our cars fast. Music to my ears.

I am embarrassed to admit that we just purchased Camden his first ever set of blocks a few days ago (well, Nan did). His SLP was playing blocks with him in therapy and mentioned what a great tool they are because they work on both speech and motor skills. I told her what a slacker I'd been in the block department but promised to buy him some right away. You guys? It was a great purchase. Camden wants to play blocks all day long. On the first day, I said "ba" repeatedly every time we stacked a block on top of another one. Then I asked him to repeat me. Once the tower was built, I requested that Camden say "go" before he knocked it over. And then we both shouted "wheee!" as the tower fell over. He was having a blast, but he was also working on his speech without even knowing it. Now, whenever he brings me the blocks, I request that he say "blocks" before we play. He responds with "ba".

Schylling Blocks. Love them.

Camden received Mr. Potato Head for his first birthday but I'll admit that we hardly touched it until recently. Once again, Camden's awesome SLP took out Mr. Potato Head in therapy and told me what a great tool it is to use at home. So, this is what we do now. We take a naked Mr. Potato Head and have all of his accessories piled up near us. I sing a song ("Here we go a walkin', a walkin', a walkin...uh oh! I need my ____" (fill in missing body part)). Then I hold out the eyes for Camden. When he grabs them, I ask how he says eyes. "Ah", he'll respond, while putting the eyes on Mr. Potato Head. For nose, we say "oh", for mouth, "mm", and for ears, "eee". These are all suggestions from his SLP, but of course you can tailor that to your child's abilities.

Hi. I'm cute and I'm a good teacher.

Choices.

This is so simple, but so important. Offer your child choices-- all day, every day. When I make Camden his milk in the morning, I offer him a choice between two cups. He gets to choose between two pairs of shoes to wear. When we read books, I hold up two and ask "Which book would you like to read?" And I always offer him the choice between two activities when it's playtime. The reason? It requires him to actively participate in the conversation, even if he's not using words. He might point, or grunt, or sign-- but that's still communicating.

Dear Camden (23 month edition)

Dear Camden,

Happy 23 months to you! You know what that means? It's time to start party planning! I'm ridiculously excited about putting this party together for you and seeing your excitement on the big day. One month to go!

This past month has been a busy one for us. You started speech therapy with your new therapist, Amanda. You're doing really well with her, but you do get frustrated and let your temper show from time to time when she really pushes you. No worries, though- you forgive her when you're given a lollipop at the end of the session.

Mommy took a road trip this month and left you alone with Daddy for an entire weekend-- the longest I've ever been away from you. You had a great time with your dad, though, and I love watching the way your relationship with him continues to evolve. You pretty much think he's the coolest thing alive right now, and I told Daddy to enjoy that while it lasts. Like tonight, you and Daddy were having a jumping contest and you were so excited by how high Daddy could jump. I asked you if you thought your dad could touch the stars and you nodded earnestly and said, "Yeah".

You've also developed quite the shoe obsession this month. You always want to wear Mommy or Daddy's shoes and walk around the house. When we took you to Rack Room, it was like Disneyland for you. You ran right over to some dominatrix looking black heels and scooped them up while frantically trying to take your boring old velcro shoes off. We settled on getting you some Cars snow boots instead.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm going to say it again: Camden, you are FUN. You make me laugh every single day. Tonight, when I was putting you to bed, you stuck your milk cup in my mouth and said "Mmm" while rubbing your belly. Then you took your milk away from me, laid it on your pillow and told it "Shhh". And at the store yesterday, you grabbed a tiny race car off the shelf, looked at me and signed "drive", placed the small car on the floor, and sat down right on top of it. You sincerely believed you could drive that miniature toy car.

When I was out of town a couple of weeks back, an old friend of mine was asking how I like being a mom. Without hesitation, I told her that it has been the best experience of my life. I know your dad would agree too. You, my son, are such a blessing.

Love,
Mommy

What You've Been Up To:

Reading the morning paper with Daddy.

Dancing with Daddy.

Jumping contest with Daddy.

And doing yard work with Daddy.

Well hello there, Cutie. You loved this box Daddy brought home from work until Maggie decided to snack on it and tear it to pieces.

Giving Snickers some love. She is so patient with you. Maggie, not so much.

Just chillin' outside.

A regular site around our house. And those are your Daddy's size 13 shoes.

This is the result of Mommy asking you to smile. Nice try, anyway.

******************************

And now, the speech stuff (AKA: the part that's only interesting to me & mommies who have speech delayed children):

Words & Sounds:                                            

Mama

Dada

Yeah

Nan

Baby (not always in context)

Banana (nana)

Me

Oh (not in context yet)

No (not in context yet)

Shh (goodnight)

Eew (gross)

Mmm (moo)

Baba (sheep)

Sss (snake)

Neigh (horse)

Approximations:

Mah- Maggie (usually prompted)

Mmm- moon

Shh- shoes

Eee- eat (usually prompted)

Mmm- milk

ABC Song:

Camden's speech therapist gave me a CD to play for him as often as possible. I am going to keep track of the sounds from the CD he's able to make each month just to document his progress. I realize this is painfully boring to anyone who's not me.

-Hammer Sound (huh)

-Igloo Sound (ih)

-Monkey Sound (mmm)

-Ostrich Sound (ahh)

-Undershirt sound (uhh)

-Yoyo sound (yuh)

-Scissor sound (sss)

A weekend walk down memory lane.

"The friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect-- the ones who stuck by you shoulder to shoulder, in a time when nothing was certain, all life lay ahead, and every road led home." -the wonder years

And speaking of home, here is my childhood home...I couldn't resist snapping a stalkerish picture out of my car window while across the street at my childhood best friend's home. Later that day, my best friend's mom walked me across the street so I could awkwardly explain to the new (well, not so new anymore) owners that I used to live there. I was secretly hoping for an indoor tour of the house, but all I got was a peak at the backyard.

Yes, I spent part of this weekend in my hometown. It's funny-- whenever I hear the word "hometown", what comes to mind is a small town with a Main Street that runs through a quaint downtown area. My hometown, though, is nothing like this picture in my mind. Instead, my hometown should bring to mind mental images of the White House, the Pentagon, the Capitol-- and all of the hecticness that goes along with big city life.

My aforementioned childhood best friend--who grew up across the street from me and was practically my Siamese twin for over a decade-- is geting married in December, and I came home for her bridal shower and bachelorette party. Returning home is always a bit nostalgic for me. As I headed north on I-95,  my mind was flooded with memories of summer nights playing flashlight tag, neighborhood camping trips, and 4th of July barbeques. And then, as the city lights grew closer, the tail lights on every car in front of me started to glow and my nostalgia gave way to irritation as I was reminded of one of the reasons why we booked it out of Northern Virginia right after graduating from college: the insane traffic that is ever-present regardless of the time of day or night.

And still, spending hours stuck in gridlocked traffic was completely worth it when I arrived and saw these faces that were a daily part of my past.

 Meet Nadia, left, who once crawled across our 9th grade English classroom on her hands and knees while the teacher was lecturing for no other reason than I convinced her it would be funny (thankfully, we've both matured since then). And Kristin, right, my former Siamese twin. We'd meet in front of our houses on the way to the bus stop each morning. Kristin would pinch-roll my jeans for me and I would fix her ponytail, which was always sideways, even when she wasn't going for that look.

And here are the bridesmaids, who I'm absolutely convinced would be some of my best friends if not for the hundreds of miles separating us. Kristin knows how to pick friends (obviously...ha).

Bachelorette party with Nadia. A big shout out to my sister-in-law, for serving as my stylist that weekend. I lost all knowledge of what's in fashion circa 2009 (aka: the year I became a Mommy). An added bonus? The sister-in-law is the same size as me, so I could borrow instead of buy. Yay for frugality.

What I love most about these girls is that we only see each other once every couple of years and yet it's like we've never missed a beat when we are finally reuinted.

And one final shout out goes to another one of my oldest besties who let me crash at her adorable little condo that weekend. Danielle (and her boyfriend) hauled my butt through the traffic of Chinatown to get to the above-pictured bachelorette party. And when the side streets of DC were blocked off due to a march that was happening that weekend, her boyfriend parked the car and escorted me by (bare)foot 3 blocks to the party site. I owe them both big time.

I didn't stay out late for the bachelorette festivities that night, not only because I'm old and can't hang like I used to, but because I was heading a few hours south the next morning to the celebration of my grandfather's life. I call it that because that's truly what it was. My grandfather was not a very formal guy (and that's a drastic understatement) and we didn't feel like a traditional funeral would be indicative of the type of man he was. Instead, we rented out a room at the club he always golfed at and invited his family and friends to come eat, talk, and look at lots of old pictures of the man we loved throughout the years. Resting next to the picture display, you could find my grandfather's golf clubs with his favorite hat perched on top of them. It was a good day, filled with a lot of stories, laughter, and a few tears. I was amazed by the turnout; there were many people we had never even seen before that showed up and introduced themselves as Grandpa's golfing buddies or friends from elementary school! He was a very loved man, and I think that day was the perfect tribute to his memory.

A Speech Update

Camden started speech therapy at the new company (with a new therapist) about 2 weeks ago. I keep meaning to write about it, but life got in the way with some good and not-so-good things that have been keeping me very busy lately. So, here at last is my long overdue speech update.

The minute we walked into the new therapist's office on the very first day of therapy, I had a gut instinct telling me this was going to be a good match. This was a welcome change from my gut instinct telling me to run in the opposite direction from his EI therapist (okay, so it wasn't that dramatic of a gut feeling, but I did just know she wasn't the right fit from day one). His new therapist, Amanda, has a tiny little office lined with shelves that are filled with toys. I imagine the closet-sized office is an attempt to keep her little clients from running amok and it works well. I come into the room with Camden for now, but will eventually be moving out of the room (once he's more comfortable) and will be observing his sessions through a two-way mirror in the hallway.

Amanda starts off every session with lots of energy and it never dwindles during their entire 30 minutes together. She gives him choices of toys to choose between, and works on sounds with him while they play together. When he starts to get bored or restless during one activity, she'll finish it up with him quickly and then will switch to something else to redirect his attention and keep him interested. She's very in tune with what's holding his interest and what's boring to him and that's very refreshing to see. She is using a variety of techniques with him right now, including using picture cards (if he wants her to blow bubbles, he has to pick up the picture card with the bubbles on it and hand it to her; this demonstrates that conversation is give-and-take), and the PROMPT method. Prompting involves Amanda taking her hands and actually touching Camden's "articulators" (mouth, throat, lips, etc.) while prompting him to say words or sounds (like "ba").

I also like that Amanda gives me a lot of "homework" to do with Camden on my own. On our very first day, she handed me a CD that had the "ABC song" on it. It's a very basic phonic song (the first verse is "Apple, apple, Ah, Ah, Ah") set to a catchy tune. We play it on a loop in our car and Camden smiles and starts kicking his feet to the music as soon as it starts. He has also started attempting to make some of the sounds in the song which is really encouraging after only 2 weeks of therapy (and it also makes listening to that CD 5000 times a day completey worth it).

He's opening up a lot in therapy too. On our first day, Camden stayed glued to my lap in Amanda's office and participated with great hesitation. Today, he walked straight into her office, climbed up into a chair at the table, and started pointing to toys he wanted to play with. He also let Amanda pick him up and carry him around to reach toys off of high shelves (no small feat with my very selective child; not just anyone can pick him up!). Every session ends with a lollipop, and Camden makes no secret that he's ready for his "candy" (his newest sign).

I think it's been really helpful to have therapy twice weekly (as opposed to his once a week EI therapy). For kids this age, having a week pass in between sessions is just too much time; they forget what they did in the previous session and it takes them longer to warm up to their therapists. Camden sees Amanda on Mondays and Fridays and that's worked out really well so far. He has definitely warmed up to her more quickly than he did his EI therapist and I credit that both to Amanda's personality and the frequency of the sessions.

So far, so good.

Dear Camden (a goodbye)

Dear Camden,

Before I laid you down for your nap this afternoon, I told you the sad news we received this morning: your great-grandfather, Fred, passed away after a tough battle with lung cancer. Of course, I didn't phrase it that way to you. You're a little young for that right now. Instead, I told you that Great-Grandpa Fred went up to live in the stars with Jesus. You see, the other night when we were outside after dark and the stars were shining brightly, you kept pointing to them. I pointed out individual stars to you and told you the names of the people we love who are living up there now. So this afternoon when I told you that your great-grandfather had gone bye-bye up to the stars, you looked towards the ceiling in your room and waved bye to him.

You won't remember your great-grandfather, of course, but you'll see him in pictures and hear about him in stories we tell when you're older. You won't know how difficult his battle with lung cancer was even though he quit smoking 30 years ago. And you won't know how much it pained all of us to see him suffering so greatly at the end of his life. But I'll remind you of your great-grandfather's final days if you even consider so much as touching a cigarette in your lifetime.

But it's really not the end of his life that I'll want to tell you about, Camden. There's so much more about him that I'll want you to know. I'll tell you how every time I went to hug your great-grandpa at family gatherings, he would smile and tell me he'd been waiting for that moment "all day" (and I'm sure he said the very same thing to all of his grandkids!).

I'll tell you how he spent last summer at the beach with us and tried so hard to win your affection. You weren't even a year old at the time and you were in the height of your stranger anxiety phase. You'd stare at your great-grandfather while clinging to me whenever he entered the room but he never gave up trying to win you over that week at the beach. Finally, towards the end of the week, you looked at him across the room and smiled. He was so excited.

I'll tell you how we rarely saw him wearing anything other than his flannel pajama pants during that beach trip because he was cold natured like your mama. And how he'd sneak into the kitchen at night and eat Peppermint Patties straight from the bag even though he was diabetic and he knew he'd get in trouble if Nan caught him. I'll tell you how he fell down the stairs at the beach house while on the way out to play golf with your Pop. Later that day, I also fell down the stairs (while holding you!) and we joked the rest of the week about which of us was the clumsiest.

I'll tell you how your great-grandfather was a simple man who didn't have a lot of material possessions. That stuff didn't matter to him. He loved his family, he loved his work, and he loved his golf game. Great-Grandpa Fred had never met a stranger and would even go to Wal-Mart a few times a week just to walk around and chat with people there. In all of my 30 years, I never once saw your great-grandfather get mad or raise his voice.

I'll probably laugh when I tell you how Great-Grandpa Fred made a Facebook page around his 80th birthday. And he kept up with it too! He was up to date on the latest family gossip, citing Facebook as the source of his information. His email address always made me smile, too: FredWGolf. So simple, just like him.

He married and divorced your great-grandmother twice before finally splitting up for good over 40 years ago. And even though your great-grandmother has been gone for years now, your great-grandpa Fred still spoke lovingly of his childhood sweetheart in his final days, recalling how pretty her bright red hair was.

I've told you that his final days were filled with suffering and that is true. But they were also filled with love. Your great-grandfather was a popular guy, and that was never more evident than when his room was filled with a constant flow of visitors at the end of his life. His co-workers from his longtime job left notes telling him how they missed his jokes at work. And one of them told your Nan that he always wanted to be like your great-grandfather because he was the happiest guy he'd ever known.

I'll tell you all of these things, Camden, because I want you to know these men who came before you, that are a part of who you are. You come from a long line of kind, good men, and your great-grandfather Fred was certainly one of them.

I read somewhere recently a quote I want you to always remember: Death is the saddest part of living, but only for those of us that are left behind. We'll see your great-grandpa again one day, when we join him up in the stars.

Love,
Mommy