Happy 4 months, May-May!

Dear Macey,

I don't know why, but I've always looked at 4 months as such a milestone age. Maybe it's because we'll be starting baby food soon, or maybe it's because you're so alert and smiley and social now. Whatever the reason, 4 months seems like a big deal to me. But then again, I'm your mama. Most everything you do is a big deal to me.

At 4 months old, you:

• Are a really tiny girl. You're still not quite 12 lbs yet.
• Hold up your head so well. I don't need to support your neck when carrying you around anymore.
• Can roll from tummy to back, but haven't quite mastered back to tummy yet. I think you're getting close though!
• Love the sound of your voice. You still coo ("goooo") to us but you've also added in a lot of squealing and yelling. Camden and I call those sounds your "crazy bird" sounds.
• Are b-a-l-d. It'll be a long time before I can put any pigtails in that (non-existent) hair of yours!
• Are starting to drool a lot and want everything shoved into your mouth. Your brother didn't get his first tooth until he was 10 months old, so I'd be surprised if any of yours showed up this early.
• Will be starting oatmeal and homemade avocado soon.
• Nurse every 3 hours during the day and anywhere from 1-3 times at night.
• Speaking of nights, they're typically either really good (6-8 hour stretches) or really bad (2-3 hour stretches). There isn't a lot of middle ground with you.
• Are all over the place with napping. After I wrote about how challenging naps had become in your 3 month post, we got things under control. I started putting you down to nap on your back instead of constantly rolling you back to your belly at nap time. I also put you in your Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit (aka: your giant astronaut/banana suit). It took a few days, but you started taking at least one long nap a day again. This lasted about a month. Now, we're back to catnapping! So, I'm experimenting with some new techniques right now. We'll see what I have to say about your napping when I write your 5 month post!
• Are still sleeping in your Rock N Play at night, though you nap in your crib.
• Are SO, SO smiley. You give everyone you see a big, gummy grin. It's ridiculously adorable.
• Love being naked. As soon as I undress you to change your diaper, you start grinning and kicking.
• Love your Oball, Minnie Mouse dolls, your crib mobile, bath time, and your new Kick & Play piano.
• Stand in your jumperoo now. You look so tiny in it. Your legs don't reach the floor quite yet, so we have you standing on a box. It's really adorable.
• Do okay in the car as long as we're moving. You're not much for red lights. Can't say I blame you.
• Laugh, a lot. I used to have to work hard to make you laugh by blowing raspberries on your neck, but now you'll just laugh if Daddy smiles at you.

I tell you this every day, Macey, but I'm so completely crazy about you. You're so loving, sweet, and just such a good natured little girl. I'm so happy you're a part of our family.

I love you,
Mommy

 

 

A Christmas Recap

This year was the first (and probably last!) time that I hosted every holiday event (Thanksgiving and Christmas related) for both sides of the family at my house. It was by my request, just because I figured it made more sense to have people over instead of lugging along infant necessities everywhere we went. But man-- it was exhausting. And just to be clear, I use the term "host" loosely. I didn't do any of the cooking (because unless frozen chicken nuggets or mac & cheese is on the menu, you probably want me out of the kitchen), but just maintaining the level of cleanliness required to have a constant flow of company in and out of your house is no easy feat. Especially with a 3-year-old and 4-month-old.

Still, it was a great holiday season. We had my in-laws over for our Christmas dinner and gift exchange on the Saturday before Christmas. Then, we had everyone (my family and Matt's family) over for Christmas Eve dinner. This was the first Christmas in several years that we haven't spent the night at my parents' house on Christmas Eve and I knew they were a little bummed by the thought of missing out on seeing the kids coming down the stairs and discovering their Santa stuff on Christmas morning. So, we invited them over bright and early on Christmas morning so they could be a part of the Santa excitement again. Afterwards, my sister and her family headed down to our house and my dad cooked us our traditional Christmas breakfast of oyster stew (minus the oysters for most of us) and delicious omelets.

Once breakfast was eaten, the family gift exchange began. Let me tell you: having a family room full of five children (ranging in age from 4 months to 7-years-old) simultaneously opening gifts? And then, just for kicks, throw in 7 adults too? It was total and utter chaos. But it was the best kind of craziness: excited squeals, discarded wrapping paper everywhere, toys covering every square inch of the floor, and lots of, "Look what I got!"

And even though it took me over 2 hours to clean up the aftermath of the tornado that took place in my house that morning, it was completely and totally worth it. I'd say Christmas 2012 was a success. But I'll go ahead and formally relinquish all hosting duties for Christmas 2013 right now.

Excited about Santa (or: excited about Minnie Mouse that Mommy is holding up over her head!)

 

Sprinkling (dumping) the reindeer food he made with friends & cousins on Christmas Eve.

 

Working hard on Santa's cookies.

 

My parents took Camden to church on Christmas Eve, where he dressed as an Angel for the telling of the Christmas Story.

 

Camden's gifts from Santa. And no- we do not wrap presents from Santa. My parents never did it for us growing up, either. I think it's a southern thing? I'm not sure. Only presents to and from family members are wrapped because duh- Santa doesn't have time for wrapping gifts.

 

Macey's gifts. She also got Camden's old jumperoo handed down as a Santa gift.

 

Macey and Daddy on Christmas morning.

 

Camden & Will playing with one of Camden's favorite gifts: Hungry Hungry Hippos.

 

Macey was just a little bit excited about her new Minnie Mouse.

 

Dr. Will performing a procedure on Camden with Camden's new doctor kit.

 

Pop (my dad) told Jacob & Alex (my nephews) that he'd pay them each $20 if they ate an oyster. Believe it or not, they were able to stomach those nasty little creatures. (For the record, my dad also offered my sister and me $100 to eat an oyster and neither of us could do it.)

 

The omelet chef hard at work.

 

Macey modeling one of her new outfits.

 

Like father, like son: relaxing at the end of a fun but exhausting day.

 

Merry Christmas

There is much to be thankful for this Christmas. Camden is at such a great age for enjoying the holidays, and I can't wait to see his face when he sees his gifts from Santa tomorrow morning. We've started new traditions with him this year (Elf on the Shelf was a big hit, and I have to admit I'm a little sad that our elf will be returning to the North Pole tonight) and I can't wait until Macey can start enjoying these traditions too.

Speaking of Miss Macey, it was exactly one year ago today when I found out I was pregnant. As I sat on the bathroom floor at 2am, I was in total disbelief as the second line appeared on that home pregnancy test. It was the best Christmas present I could've asked for. And now, our sweet girl is here and our little family is complete. Yes, there is much to be thankful for.

However, there are a lot of families out there that are hurting right now and my heart hurts for them too. I haven't mentioned the Sandy Hook tragedy on this blog, mostly because I felt like my words could never adequately express how devastated I am for the families who lost loved ones that Friday morning. They still can't; there truly are no words for that kind of heartwrenching loss. But you can bet that tomorrow morning, in the midst of the laughter and the hugs and the flying wrapping paper, I will remember each of those families. I hope you do, too.

Merry Christmas, from our family to yours.

From the mouth of Camden

Camden is still learning how to grasp time. We talk about days of the week quite often now, and he understands when something happened in the past or when something is going to happen in the future. But, his concept of time is still a bit abstract.

One evening after dinner, Camden looked thoughtful and asked, "Is it 3 days until bedtime?" You wish, buddy!

Referring to his Play-Doh escapades: "I played that all day last night." (And, for the record, "last night" might be referring to the previous night, but he also may be referencing last week, or even two months ago. Right now, "last night" simply means "in the past" to Camden.)

**

Currently, we do not go to church. There are a few different reasons for this, but I grew up in the church and would like to find a church home for us again in the near future. I've made a real effort to start talking to Camden about God lately. We've discussed relatives of ours that now live with God and during one of our conversations, I mentioned that these relatives went to live with God when they were very old. Camden got a far off, thoughtful expression on his face and was quiet for several moments. Then, he asked softly, "Are we new, Mommy?"

**

I had Macey in the bathtub and the space heater running on nearly full blast in the bathroom. Camden walked in, made a face, and exclaimed, "It's hotter than a summer day in here!" (Disclaimer: I have never, EVER used that expression. It sounds better suited to an 80-year-old woman than a 3-year-old boy. Weeks later, I'm still totally baffled about where he heard that line!)

**

A few days ago, we were wrapping Christmas presents and Camden was being my helper. His job was to pick a little sticky name tag and stick it on each gift after I wrapped them. Camden, however, really wanted his job to be playing with tape. As I stuck tape on the carefully folded corners of my gifts, Camden asked why he couldn't be in charge of the tape. I told him that putting tape on the presents was too hard and that I'd have to handle it. He replied, "Putting tape on is hard...but putting the name stickers on is squishy?" (I have to admit, I was initially confused by this statement, until I realized that Camden was thinking about hard in the physical sense of the word-- so squishy made the perfect antonym.)

**

A couple of nights ago, Matt was putting Camden to bed when he had this epiphany:

"I don't think spiders have hands, Daddy. Because if they did, they would open the door." There's just no arguing with that kind of logic.

And then we got the plague.

Oh my goodness, we've been so sick in this house. It all started almost 2 weeks ago-- right after Camden's 3 year check-up appointment. Since he got the flu shot at that appointment, I initially chalked his high fever the next day up to a fairly common vaccination side effect. But when it persisted and turned into a nasty case of diarrhea and then culminated with a hacking cough and runny nose, I knew we were likely dealing with a pretty powerful and long lasting virus that has been going around our neighborhood.

Camden was pretty miserable for about a week, and I was so thankful when he was obviously on the rebound. It was very hard seeing my sweet boy so sick that he didn't want to leave the couch. Since the rest of us seemed to make it through that week unscathed, I thought we were in the clear. Ha-- not so much. A few days ago, what started as a small, annoying cough for me turned into a high fever, vomiting, body aches, a sore throat, and a much more violent (and persistent) cough. And then? Macey started coughing, which led to a particularly scary incident yesterday morning.

The previous night, I had been up for hours, alternately vomiting and wallowing in my misery. I finally was able to fall into a restless sleep around 5am. About an hour later, Macey started coughing and was having a hard time catching her breath. I didn't freak out right away; she was flat on her back, so I simply rolled her to her side and patted her back firmly several times. When the coughing continued, I picked her up and patted her back harder, feeling the panic start to rise. She was turning bright red and having great difficulty catching her breath in between coughing fits. When she did take a breath, it sounded labored and shallow and there was a lot of excess saliva coming out of her mouth. I suctioned her mouth immediately and ran to get Matt. I also called my mom because I figured if we were going to head to the ER, someone would need to stay home with Camden, who had been woken by my frantic yelling.

By the time my mom arrived at our house a few minutes later, Macey's eyes were red rimmed and she still had a lot of excess saliva, but she was grinning ear to ear. I swear, this is the happiest girl ever. She smiles through it all-- coughing fits, choking incidents, it doesn't matter. She's always got a grin on that adorable little face. Since her breathing had returned to normal and she wasn't running a fever, we decided to wait until her pediatrician's office opened instead of taking her to the ER and exposing her to countless more germs. We made sure she fell back asleep in an upright position instead of flat on her back to avoid another choking episode. A few hours later, I spoke to the advice nurse at the pediatrician's office and was told to run a humidifier (already had been doing that), elevate her while she's sleeping (back into the Rock N Play she went), and watch her carefully for a fever and/or shallow breathing. Thankfully (and knocking on wood as I type this), she has been fine since that incident. She's still coughing, but it's a dry cough and she's not struggling to catch her breath like she was yesterday morning. I was told that since I'm breastfeeding, the version of this virus that Macey gets will probably be milder, since she's already taking in the antibodies my body has been working overtime to make to fight this thing off. I pray that's the case.

And, speaking of breastfeeding, my supply has taken a big hit due to this illness. I lost 2 pounds in one day and wasn't able to eat anything more than soup yesterday, so you can imagine the toll that took on my milk production. Macey has been trying her best to make up for it by nursing much more frequently, so I'm hoping it will rebound soon. I've done my best to drink as much as I could today and have been eating a little bit more, so I'm hopeful. I'd really hate to have to start supplementing because of this pesky virus.

Hopefully this means that we've gotten our sickness for the season out of the way and our Christmas can be illness-free!

Letter to Macey (3 months old!)

Dear Macey (or May-May, as your brother has lovingly named you):

You're 3 months old & your brother is 3 years old! Time seems to be flying by-- especially when I look at pictures of the early days when we first brought you home from the hospital and I remember how tiny and fragile you seemed. Yet, it also seems somehow strange that it's only been 3 months since you joined our family. In an odd way, I feel like I've known you forever and you've been here all along. You just fit with us.

At 3 months old, you:

• Coo. A lot. You have long, animated "discussions" with Camden, Daddy, me, inanimate objects, stuffed animals-- pretty much, anything & anyone that grabs your attention. "Ah goo" is your favorite catch phrase.
• You roll from your tummy to your back with ease. This has made daytime naps tricky. You were my excellent napper when I let you sleep on your tummy. But now that you know how to roll? Well, as soon as I lay you down for a nap, you flip right on over and start cooing at the ceiling. You won't fall asleep on your back, so...this is a definite work in progress. And while I'm bummed about your super napping days being over (for now), I'm so excited about your rolling. Milestones are just as exciting the second time around!
• Smile ALL.THE.TIME. Seriously, it's all you do. Even when you're tired and starting to get fussy, you'll smile in between fusses. It's pretty much the most adorable smile ever.
• Nurse, on average, every 3 hours. When you nap well, sometimes you'll go 4 hours between nursing sessions. On catnap days (like today), you want to nurse more frequently-- every 2 hours or so.
• Aren't the best night sleeper. I don't think I produce good night sleepers. Generally, I can get at least a 4 hour stretch out of you early on in the night (sometimes 5, occasionally a glorious 6 hours), but after that-- you're up every 2 hours. And you're very restless between 4-6am. "This too shall pass" is my mantra when it comes to night sleep right now.
• Aren't on a real nap schedule yet. When you have your good nap days, you'll take at least one 3 hour nap and a couple of catnaps. Some days, you'll take a couple of two hour naps. And then there are the dreaded catnap-all-day days. Those aren't our favorite days.
• Love the Ergo & going for walks outside.
• LOVE Mickey Mouse, much like your brother did at this age (and still does). You grin at the TV when Camden happens to be watching Mickey & you always offer a big gummy smile to the little plush Mickey Mouse doll that sits on the side of your changing table.
• Wear mostly 0-3 month clothes and size 2 diapers.
• Are weighing in at 11 lbs, 6 oz (according to my home scale).
• Are starting to really enjoy batting at toys.
• Love to kick and splash in the bathtub. Your eyes get so wide with excitement while you're kicking.
• Have a very pleasant, happy, easy-going demeanor.

So, that's you at 3 months old, my sweet girl. I'm so excited for all that's to come-- when you start crawling, babbling, walking, and on and on-- yet I'm also trying to remember to really soak in every moment here and now. I couldn't love you more, Macey Jean, and I'm so happy you're my daughter.

Love,
Mommy

 

A little rest during tummy time.

 

"Ah gooooo"

 

My pretty girl.

 

 

Three Year Check-Up

Seeing an appointment for a check-up for Camden on the calendar used to fill me with dread. For nearly 2 years of his life, Camden hated going to the doctor. From the time he was about 9 months old until he was about 2 and a half years old, his stranger anxiety was so severe that he would start shaking as soon as a doctor walked into the room. Even climbing on the scale to check his weight was a big ordeal. And if they tried to look in his ears or shine a light in his eyes? Commence screaming. It was never a pleasant experience for Camden or for me-- and, I'm sure, it wasn't exactly a picnic for the doctors and nurses we encountered either.

Today was Camden's 3 year well-child check-up and it was an entirely different experience. I knew Camden was over his stranger anxiety so I was curious to see how it would go. I didn't expect, however, that he'd smile at everyone, bounce happily down the hallway, and high five the doctors. Basically? He had a great time at the appointment (well, until he got his flu shot & his finger pricked, but no one really enjoys that).

I was also surprised at how involved the appointment was. Up until this point, well-child checks had consisted of lots of questions for me concerning Camden's development, a quick physical examination, a weight check, and some vaccinations. Pretty routine stuff. So, I was surprised today when I took the back seat at this appointment and all questions were addressed to Camden. Right away, he was asked to say his own name (first and last), how old he is, and if he's a boy or a girl. Then they took him off to another room for an eye exam where he had to identify various shapes on a chart. My favorite part of this exam? When the nurse got to one of the really tiny, nearly impossible to see lines and pointed to a shape, Camden said, "I don't know that baby shape."

When we headed back to our room,  Camden was asked to draw a circle and to identify several different colors. Then the physical exam began and I got to watch Camden balance carefully on each foot, touch his toes, and perform some other tasks-- all with ease. Since I don't get to see Camden in a preschool or daycare setting, today was really the first time I got to see him put all of his skills and abilities on display for someone other than me and I have to say: I was a proud mama.

But the best part of the appointment? (Well, other than having a healthy, "smart as a whip", 3 year old...) When the NP finished asking Camden a series of questions, she turned to me and said, "Well, his speech is perfect." I seriously could've cried at that statement, given all of the worry, hard work, and effort that went into Camden's speech over the past year.

And just because I can never conclude a well-child check-up recap without documenting how ridiculously skinny my kids are: Camden is weighing in at 28 lbs. Pretty sure that child doesn't have an ounce of fat on his body, much like his daddy. He's been long and lean since day one.

 

We adore this guy.

Happy Birthday, Camden

Dear Camden,

You are THREE. I'm really not sure how that happened when it was just yesterday that I saw your tiny heartbeat flickering on the ultrasound screen and it finally hit me that I was really and truly going to be a mom. I don't know how you're already three when I promise you it was just yesterday that you were placed on my chest in the hospital and I marveled at that head full of white blonde hair. It couldn't be three years ago already, could it? Where does the time go?

The time, it turns out, passed by quickly in the form of many days, weeks, and months filled with all of the joy you've brought into our lives. My sweet boy, we tried for nearly two years to have a baby, and I have felt from the very moment my eyes met yours that you were entirely worth the wait. You are so many different things: sweet, thoughtful, kind, loving, determined, feisty, smart, funny-- you're just the perfect balance of  many different traits that make you the boy I am so proud to call my son.

I've loved every minute of watching you grow up so far. I remember the big moments so clearly: your first real smile right before we left to go to a Christmas dinner; the first time you crawled; your first clumsy steps into my arms; the first time you babbled (an angry "BABABABABA!" when you wanted out of your highchair); your first word (mama). I remember the tough moments too, of course: your tumble down the stairs when you were a year old, the (many, many) sleepless nights, the severe stranger anxiety that you finally outgrew over the past year. But the good times and happy memories have FAR outweighed those challenging parenting moments.

 Last year at this time, you could only say a handful of words. Now, after working your butt off in speech therapy for nearly a year, you're quite the conversationalist. I never get tired of hearing your stories, your songs, and yes-- even your constant questions. I don't take them for granted, because I knew what it took to get to this point. I hope you always know how proud Daddy and I are of your will and determination.

A few months ago, you became a big brother. You probably won't remember that period of your life; your memories will most likely begin with Macey already a part of our family. But I want you to know what a loving and sweet brother you've been to her. It's not always easy transitioning from only child to big brother, but you've done it remarkably well. You're constantly hugging her, talking to her, and wanting to help with her. Often, your first question when you wake in the morning is, "Where's Mace?!" And you know what? Your little sister is pretty crazy about you too. She always smiles at the sound of your cheerful voice.

Of course, I can't conclude this letter without mentioning some of your favorite things. At three years old, you love: your family, first and foremost. Playing outside. The Imagination Movers. Angry Birds. Play-Doh. Coloring, painting, and drawing. Your cousin, Will, who's your very best friend. Puzzles. Construction equipment. Singing (current favorite songs: Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Row Your Boat, and the ABCs). Using my Kindle or Nan's iPad. Having company over at the house. Football Sundays with Nan, Pop, and Chris. Helping with anything- cooking, packing Daddy's lunch, giving Macey a bath.

You and I have a daily running dialogue. You ask, "How do you love me, Mommy?" and you smile with anticipation as you wait for my response that you have memorized. "A little teeny, tiny bit," I reply as your smile gets bigger. And then, you recite along with me, "No! I love you soooo stinkin much." And I do, Camden. You're everything I could've asked for in a son; you're the perfect fit for our little family.

I love you, my first born. Thank you for making me a mommy. Happy 3rd birthday!

Love,
Mommy

All-business nursing.

I admit that I have to laugh when I hear people describe nursing as a relaxing, soothing experience for the mom. I have no doubt that this is indeed the case for some moms. I remember when I was in the hospital right after Camden was born and a lactation consultant came to my room to check in on me. She gave me a few latching tips and then mentioned that Camden should be nursing about 15-20 minutes on each side. So, 30-40 minutes of nursing total should be the norm.

I think the only time either of my kids has spent 40 minutes at my boobs is when they've passed out in a milk-induced sleep. My kids do not nurse leisurely, and when thinking of a way to describe nursing from my point of view? Well, let's just say that 'relaxing' does not top my list of adjectives.

First, let me be clear: I am so thankful that I'm able to nurse my babies. I know that's not the case for every woman, and it's not something I take for granted. But my kids? They are all business when it's time to eat (side note: I'm not still nursing Camden. He's been weaned for 2 years. I'm referring to the past when mentioning Camden's nursing habits). When it first became clear that Camden would nurse for, on average, 5-10 minutes total (not per side!), I was alarmed. For him, nursing was like a sprint: get in there, get it done, and move on with the day. No slow sipping, no leisurely relaxation in mom's arms. Eating was all business for him.

The first few days after Macey was born, she would nurse 20 minutes per side. I thought that maybe this time I had a baby who enjoyed leisurely nursing and made sure to prepare myself for 30-40 minute nursing sessions at each feeding. But then? My milk came in on the fourth day after her birth, and Macey decided that it was a good time to take a page out of her brother's feeding manual and ensure that nursing lasted no more than 5-10 minutes total. This time, I didn't freak out. I accepted what I initially tried to fight with Camden: I had another all-business nurser.

Sure, there are advantages to having a quick, efficient nurser. I am never tied down on the couch for long periods of time nursing a baby. When Macey is eating and Camden decides that he also must have something at that very moment, I can say, "Give me just a minute, buddy. I'll get it as soon as I'm done feeding Macey." And that's actually a truthful statement. Five minutes later, I'm up and getting things done again.

But there are disadvantages, too. I don't mind so much missing out on that whole peaceful, relaxation thing because really-- who has time to relax with a toddler and infant anyway? But I'm a natural worrier, and when my baby only eats for 8 minutes when it's been 3.5 hours since her last feeding? Yeah, I worry. You might recall that Camden's old pediatrician initially had some concerns about his slow weight gain during the first year of his life. And that whole experience pretty much brought out the Crazy in me, and I obsessed about his weight for months. (Yes, I'm over that now. Camden is tall and skinny, just like his Daddy. He will totally be one of those people who can eat 6 dozen donuts and never gain a pound.) But just recalling those days makes me anxious, and I have to admit that I am now the proud owner of a baby scale. As for Macey? Well, she's also a slow gainer. And while the logical part of me knows that she's likely going to be just like her brother, I still worry. And I still sometimes try to force an extra minute or two when she's nursing. (For the record? That doesn't work-- at all. When a baby decides she's done nursing, there's no convincing her otherwise and she'll offer her I'm-going-to-gag-at-any-second face as proof.)

So, that's that: I produce tall, skinny, all-business nursers. Anyone else?

Baby Carrier Identity Crisis

Apparently I have a lot of trouble committing to a baby carrier.

When Camden was a baby, I didn't babywear much. Well, correction: I didn't babywear much using an actual baby wearing device. I just held him all day long, napped with him, and slept with him at night. So, pretty sure he wasn't lacking in the whole bonding department.

When I was pregnant with Macey, I knew I'd want and need to babywear more often. Because having a toddler and a newborn? It's no joke, and I knew I'd need my hands free as often as possible. It's not like I could say, "Camden, why don't you cook us up some dinner while I hold your sister?" or "Go ahead and wipe your own butt, Camden. Can't you see that Macey is sleeping on my chest right now?"

Nope- clearly not happening. Which is why babywearing has become so important to me. It allows me to multitask and multitasking when you have two kids? It's key to survival.

Which brings me back to my commitment issues. Where do I begin? At the beginning, I suppose.

Let me introduce you to my first baby carrier love: The Bjorn. The Bjorn was given to me as a hand-me-down and I wore Camden in it a handful of times. I used it fairly often with Macey too; she'd often fall asleep in it while I was cooking and/or eating dinner. We also used it for walks outside. Macey seemed to find it comfortable. I, on the other hand, did not find it very comfortable. Or, more specifically, my shoulders didn't find it comfortable. At all. If I wore Macey for more than 20 or 30 minutes in the Bjorn, I felt like I needed to schedule a massage afterwards.

Then, there was the ring sling. We only had a very brief affair, so I hesitate to even mention it. I wanted a ring sling, but knew nothing about them. Then I saw that Dr. Sears endorsed this particular one, and I was sold. Because Dr. Sears knows everything, right? So I purchased my ring sling when I was pregnant and even practiced carrying a Cabbage Patch doll in it before Macey was born. Yes, I really just admitted to that. But the thing is-- real babies just aren't quite like Cabbage Patch dolls and I found it entirely awkward to carry Macey in this thing. I always felt like she wasn't comfortable or like she was getting smothered, which just meant that I was staring at her the whole time she was in it and not getting anything else done. And that kind of defeats the whole purpose of babywearing, you know? So I broke up with the ring sling.

Next up: the Moby wrap. The Moby is quite popular and I figured if all of the ladies were raving about this wrap, there must be something to it. When it arrived in the mail, I'll admit that I was fairly baffled that it was just a huge piece of fabric. And I probably spent 30 minutes watching You Tube "how to put on a Moby wrap" instructional videos. But once it was on? I loved it. It was so comfortable-- definitely ergonomically correct, unlike the Bjorn. The first couple of times I put Macey in it were tricky for me, but once I got the hang of it, I used it often. But. (Of course, there's a but. Commitment problems, remember?) There are a few issues I have with the Moby: first, it's freakin' hot. It's a lot of fabric, which is fine in the fall & winter. But there is no way I'd be able to wrap myself all up like that during a North Carolina summer. Also, if I tried to do anything more than cook dinner, stand still, or walk slowly around my house while wearing the Moby, it would start to slip down. No matter how tightly I tied it. I attempted to take Macey and Camden for a walk one day while wearing the Moby and I only got about a block away before the thing was practically around my ankles. Finally, it's kind of a pain in the butt to put on. So, the Moby and I had a good run, but ultimately, we weren't right for each other.

I'm glad to say that today, I am happily settled down. It took a long time to get to this place, but it was worth the wait. These days, I happily babywear Macey in an Ergo. I had lusted after the Ergo for a while, but it's pricey. So, I casually mentioned to Matt that it might be an excellent birthday or Christmas present for me, and he told me to go ahead and order it. Yes, he won big points for that one. It was clear from the moment the Ergo arrived that we were a match made in heaven. Like the Moby, the Ergo is ergonomically correct. But it's simple to put on, light weight (read: I won't die of a heat stroke while wearing Macey during the summmer), and very comfortable for Macey. She's usually asleep within 3 minutes of being placed in the Ergo. It's snug and secure, so there's no sliding down my body while I'm walking around. This time, I'm in it for the long haul (no, seriously-- I can use the Ergo until Macey's a toddler by wearing her on my back. I can even back carry Camden in the Ergo).

So, there you have it: my baby carrier identity crisis resolved. Which carriers are your favorite?

This and That.

It's probably a little ridiculous how excited I got when I walked over to the kitchen table last week and saw Camden's latest artistic creation. I never thought I would be one of those moms-- you know, the kind that hoards every art project her child ever created. But I fear I'm going to become one, because I snatched up the piece of paper the moment I saw it, labeled and dated it, and stashed it away in Camden's Memory Box. But, really, his first smiley face (with hair!!) is worthy of this kind of excitement on my part, right? Just tell me yes.

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I totally slacked on a Halloween post last week, and now it feels a little late in the game to do an entire recap of the night. The highlights were: Camden was an Angry Bird; Macey had an adorable pumpkin hat; Camden trick-or-treated with his cousins and some neighbors; Camden stayed out for over an hour, running from house to house, and never asking anyone to carry his overflowing pumpkin basket for him (last year, he pawned that basket off on me at like the 3rd house we hit up); Camden is more interested in the process of trick-or-treating than actually eating the candy (but no worries-- the candy hasn't gone to waste. It's a rarity these days to see Matt without a pumpkin basket dangling off his wrist.) Basically? Halloween was a big time hit this year.

 

An Angry Bird & Scooby Doo (or, Camden & Will)

 

No trick-or-treating for her this year, but she still got in the spirit of the night.

 

Da family.

 

The trick-or-treating gang.

 

With Pop & Daddy.

 

Nan & Pop with their grandkids (minus Macey).

 

Camden's stash. Otherwise known as Matt's stash.

 

 

It never gets any easier.

Yesterday was Macey's two month well baby check-up. I dreaded it for weeks because I knew it would include her first round of vaccinations. The first time Camden got vaccinated, I cried more than he did. This time, I braced myself because I knew what to expect and while I was able to fight back the tears, it still sucked. Big time.

See this? This was Macey's happy, unexpecting face right before we left to head to the doctor's office.

Talk about a mommy guilt trip: a smiling baby that has no idea what's coming.

And she happily smiled through all of the doctor's poking, prodding, and measuring. In fact, that grin stayed on her face until the very second the needle went into her chunky little thigh. And then, out came the bottom lip, her face turned beet red, and the screaming began.

While I hated every minute of it, I knew it was necessary and the right thing to do and that made it a little easier.

On another note, Macey weighed in at 10 lbs, 11 oz and has grown to 22 and 1/4 inches. Two months old already-- man, this baby stuff goes by quickly.

It's Picture Time!

I'm seriously so lucky to have a sister who's also a fantastic photographer. Looking at these photos, you'd never know that we were: a) crammed into Macey's tiny nursery b) dealing with a toddler who wasn't in the mood for picture taking c) having to take breaks to nurse a fussy baby d) sweating our butts off due to all of the above.

I'm so happy with the way the pictures turned out and I can't wait for Lauren (my sis) to have her own photography business one day (yes, Lauren-- it will happen).

On having a routine.

When Camden was born, I figured I'd just bring him home from the hospital and figuring out how to organize our days would come naturally to me. And maybe it does work like that for some moms, but for me-- well, it just didn't. I had no idea what I was doing, other than loving this tiny little being that dictated my days and nights.

When Camden was around 4 months old, I called my mom in tears of frustration one day. "I can't do this anymore," I declared, "I need some kind of schedule or routine for him." I had reached my breaking point because Camden would only take 30 minute catnaps all day long--  and each short nap had to be while sleeping on me. I felt like I couldn't accomplish anything around the house; I felt like I couldn't ever even leave the house to do something simple like run an errand. When he fussed, I had no idea what he needed. Could he be hungry? Did he need another catnap? Was he just bored? I was totally clueless.

Enter: The Baby Whisperer. I ordered this book after reading promising reviews online from other parents who were in the same situation I was in before implementing the Baby Whisperer's routine. I think I read it cover to cover the very day it arrived on my doorstep and started Camden on the Whisperer's routine the next day. (That's an entirely different story. Starting a catnapping 4 month old on a routine isn't an easy feat. But I did it, and I'd never want to do it again!)

When I was pregnant this time around, I knew I wanted to do things differently from the beginning. I knew a lot of moms swore by the "Babywise" method and so I decided to see what the hype was all about. You guys? I'm going to be honest here: I wasn't a fan of the book. I was surprised to find that the Babywise schedule was similar to the Baby Whisperer one that I used with Camden: it's suggested in both books that you follow an Eat/Play/Sleep routine for your baby. That, I had no problem with. My issue with Babywise was the entire chapter devoted to what to do when your baby cries. And I just wasn't comfortable with the amount of crying that the author suggests is okay for a very young baby. Let me be clear: I know there are many staunch opposers of Babywise and I'm not one of them. It's just not something I personally felt was a good match for me as a parent. (Also? I think Babywise might be a better match for formula feeding moms. I say that because formula feeding moms have the luxury of getting to see exactly how much their child is taking in at each feeding, so they don't have that nagging doubt that breastfeeding moms often have about whether or not their baby is getting enough to eat.)

So, I decided to go with old faithful: the Baby Whisperer. This time around, though, I attempted to implement the BW principles from day one. Granted, in the first few weeks, the Eat/Play/Sleep routine didn't work more often than it did (because newborns? They're gonna sleep when they want to sleep, and don't you try to convince them otherwise). But, gradually, the routine started to kick in and a couple of things surprised me: while getting baby to follow a routine does initially require some hard work and dedication on mom's part, once you get there, the days actually become a lot easier than when you sort of wander through them aimlessly. Also? Baby is happier when following a routine. I've mentioned Macey's happy, laid back personality in previous posts. And while I will certainly credit some of that to her natural temperament, I also think it has a great deal to do with her routine. She doesn't get overtired because I always know when it's nap time. She doesn't get fussy from hunger because I know when it's time to eat. Predictability is a good thing.

This doesn't mean that all of our days are neat and orderly now. Not at all. Babies aren't robots and there are certainly days when Macey decides she's only going to nap for 45 minutes or she'll start giving me hunger cues an hour and a half after she's last eaten. On those days, I follow her lead. I'm not going to let my desire to follow a routine trump what Macey communicates to me, ever.

One last point I want to make: I think my initial hesitation to put Camden on a routine had a lot to do with my strong feelings of connection towards the Attachment Parenting movement. I think there's this misconception that to be an "attached" parent, you must never, ever consider putting your child on any sort of schedule. As a first time mom, that AP mantra kind of got in my head and gave me a guilt trip. Now, I know better. I breastfeed. We sometimes co-sleep. I babywear Macey for at least an hour every day. But I also follow a routine. And you know what? I couldn't possibly feel more attached to either of my children.

Sleep is for the weak

My Facebook status update this morning read something like "You know it was a long night when you pour your cereal into your coffee cup."

That sounds like an attempt at a bad joke, but I promise that actually happened.

You guys, I am tired. Not exactly an earth shattering statement coming from the mom of an infant, I know. But the thing is, I just can't figure Macey out at night. The way I explained it to my mom and sister is like this: Macey is an awesome baby. Pretty darn near perfect in the temperament department. After we got past that two week Witching Hour phase, she became the most laid back baby ever. She doesn't need to be held; she's content just to sit and observe and smile. And the smiles! Oh my goodness, are they ever adorable. She's also started to coo and the "Ah goos" melt my heart. And nap time? She's a pretty darn good napper most of the time. She can put herself to sleep and she takes at least two 2-3 hour naps most days. She's one of those babies I've heard other moms talk about in passing and I don't know whether to congratulate them on their good fortune or punch them in the face.

And then night time comes. You would think (okay, I thought), that since I have her on a consistent, good routine during the day, night time would be a breeze. Or at least predictable. That's what all the books say, right? Ha. Macey proves the experts wrong. This girl hates being laid to sleep on her back. Her arms startle her awake often, so I thought swaddling her would take care of that little problem. I even invested in the much hyped Miracle Blanket. Guess what? Macey hates being swaddled too. She will grunt, squirm, fuss, and eventually cry out until she is freed from her swaddle imprisonment. So, my mom was kind enough to purchase a Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper for her. I've heard great things about this little contraption; it keeps the baby elevated so they're not flat on their back, it's nice and deep so there's the feeling of being swaddled without the actual act of swaddling. And you know what? Macey does okay in this. She will sleep in it for 3-4 hours at a stretch sometimes if I rock her completely and totally to sleep before I place her in it. If I put her in it awake and drowsy with a paci? Forget about it. She's not having any of that.

In my desperation in the wee hours of the morning, I have tried lying with Macey on a mattress on her bedroom floor. That was always my answer with Camden: if he was having a bad night and nothing else worked, I'd stick him in our bed and he was out like a light (after nursing, of course). Macey, however, has no interest in co-sleeping like her brother did. I realize that's probably a blessing in disguise, but man-- at 4am, I often wish she had her brother's affection for our old sleeping arrangements. If it's possible, she's even more restless when sleeping with me.

So our nights go something like this: Macey does an initial stretch (anywhere from 3-4 hours most often) in her Rock and Play Sleeper. Then the rest of the night is filled with me trying different approaches to get her back to sleep with varying levels of success: rocking her, nursing her, putting her in her crib, swaddling, unswaddling, co-sleeping. Hence, the reason for my exhaustion.

You might be wondering why she naps so well and soothes herself to sleep during the day. It's because I break the cardinal rule of infant sleep and let her sleep on her tummy at naptime. She loves it. She's comfortable and she sleeps well. But I'm a nervous wreck about it, and so I'm not comfortable letting her sleep this way at night time. During the day, I have her ceiling fan set on high, her paci in her mouth (all SIDS risk reducers), and the video monitor turned on so I can constantly check her chest for motion. Obviously, I wouldn't get any sleep stalking a video monitor this way at night.

So, that's where I'm at. Great routine during the day, and all over the place at night. I think this would stress me out a lot more if I were a first time mom again. Now, I just power through the nights the best I can and know this too shall pass.

Updates all around

My big boy has been a busy guy lately. With his third birthday only about a month away, Camden has taken the leap from "toddler" to "preschooler". Not that he's actually in preschool yet-- we made the decision to start him next year. But he's definitely a preschooler in his language abilities, his social interactions, and his interests.

Camden is a technology master. I'm amazed at the ease with which he manipulates my Kindle and my mom's iPad. He'll turn it on, adjust the volume, open and close screens, and find games he wants to play. His favorite game is Angry Birds, which has led to the decision to be an Angry Bird for Halloween (the yellow one) and to have an Angry Birds birthday party.

Another favorite past time of Camden's that has developed since bringing Macey home from the hospital is pretending like he is pregnant. Most of the time, he's pregnant with some stuffed Angry Bird toys, but he's also gestated everything from a puzzle piece to a Matchbox car.

Speaking of Macey, Camden continues to be loving and kind to his little sister. He affectionately calls her "Miss Mace", "Macey Jean", and "Poop Machine" (he might've overheard that last name from his mama). He eagerly helps with diaper changes and bath time; he truly is a fantastic big brother.

My neighbor (who also happens to be my sister's sis-in-law), Tricia, has started hosting Toddler Time at her house on Friday mornings. The only toddlers present at Toddler Time are Camden and his cousin, Will, which means lots of activities and individual attention for the two of them. Tricia is a former teacher and just a creative, crafty person in general, so the boys really look forward to their time at her house. Since my ability to take Camden out of the house is a bit limited by Macey's nap schedule right now, I'm so thankful for this weekly activity.

My little girl is just over 6 weeks old now! She's packing on the pounds and actually looks a bit chubby now. I'm sure the chub phase won't last long, since Matt and I only produce tall, skinny kids, so I'll enjoy her double chins while I can.

Her sleep is kind of a mixed bag right now. I have her on the Eat/Play/Sleep schedule during the day and she can normally fall asleep without assistance for naps. However, night time continues to be tricky. She's never ready for her long stretch of sleep before 10:30 or 11, and that "long" stretch of sleep can be anywhere from 2.5 to 5 hours long. Don't get me wrong-- I'd be thrilled if she regularly had a 5 hour stretch of sleep at night, but the 2.5 hour nights are not my favorite. I'm hoping if I continue to keep her on a loose schedule during the day, her nighttime sleep will eventually straighten itself out.

Macey is a very smiley little girl. I love this stage when they first become more socially aware. It's so rewarding to get a big, gummy grin first thing in the morning-- even when you've been up most of the night.

The aforementioned Witching Hour phase seems to have passed (hallelujah!). Macey still spends her evenings catnapping, but is happy and playful in between naps instead of a screaming disaster.

On another note, I have my 6 week postpartum appointment on Tuesday (a tad late, I know). I've started running again and hope that I can drop these last pesky 7 pounds soon. So, that's where we are now. I'd say we've adjusted to life with two children. That doesn't mean every day is easy, but it feels normal now to have my time divided between my kids. But those people with 5 or 6 kids? I have absolutely no idea how they manage and stay sane. Or maybe they don't.

 

Toddler Time at Tricia's...

 

 

Aunt Lauren took Camden and Will to see a firetruck at their future preschool!

 

My sweet girl: