I went in for my 36 week check-up today and found out that Macey is measuring small. Well, to clarify-- she has measured about a week behind (in fundal height) for most of this pregnancy. That's no big deal since she has consistently grown at the same rate. But today, the doctor found that she had dropped more than a week behind in fundal height. The doctor also felt her through my stomach and said she felt "really small for being this far along". So, I am scheduled to have an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon to check on my little girl.
I have forced myself to stay away from Dr. Google, but I do know that IUGR and/or low amniotic fluid could be the culprit(s) behind this issue. If that's the case, Macey might be joining us sooner rather than later. While I'm thankful that I am this far along, I'd also like to continue baking her for at least a couple more weeks. Obviously, that's best for her health, but also, Matt is having hernia surgery on Thursday and will be out of commission for several days. Not exactly ideal timing, but we'll roll with the punches if we need to.
I'll try to update after my ultrasound tomorrow, but in the meantime, think some happy thoughts for me, okay? Please and thank you.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The End of an Era.
Today was Camden's last day of speech therapy. Just writing those words is kind of surreal. I think back to where we were at this time last year-- just beginning the Early Intervention process-- and I am overcome with pride for my little guy. To be clear, he didn't technically "graduate" from speech therapy, as there are almost always going to be correctable speech errors that a 2-year-old makes. But the errors Camden makes now are typical ones, and he's caught up to an age appropriate level as far as language and vocabulary are concerned. That knowledge, combined with the fact that Camden's speech therapist is getting ready to go on maternity leave and I have no desire to have him essentially start over with someone new, made us reach a mutual decision with his therapist that it was time to wrap things up. Bittersweet, definitely. But mostly? Mostly, I am proud & grateful.
When we first pulled up to the office 9 months ago, I was filled with hesitation and hope. I suppose you could say I was cautiously optimistic. We didn't have the greatest experience with Camden's first SLP, but I had heard such great things about this particular company that I just knew it had to work out. The therapist we were matched with was relatively young-- only a few years out of grad school-- which, I'll admit, made me a little nervous. Since, according to his former SLP, we were possibly dealing with apraxia, I knew we needed someone who was not only PROMPT certified, but someone who was also motivated, knowledgeable, and energetic. We found all of that in Amanda.
I knew from day one that she was the "one" for Camden. He was in the throes of stranger anxiety when we began speech therapy, but he warmed up to her playful yet laid back demeanor quickly. He was essentially non-verbal back then, but I still felt like we walked away from each session having accomplished something. And then slowly, some sounds began to emerge. I so clearly remember the first day he imitated a sound Amanda made-- something easy like "ba"-- and she and I looked at each other, smiling excitedly over his tiny blonde head. A breakthrough had happened, and we both knew it. Words followed shortly thereafter. And then there were short sentences. Today, there are long sentences, questions, stories, singing-- truly communicating. It is really astounding to reflect on how far he's come in the past 9 months.
Thankfully, Camden never did receive an apraxia diagnosis. It seems that he had a classic speech delay and just needed a push to get his words out. Would he have gotten there on his own without Amanda? Eventually, he probably would have. But I have no doubt that she helped him to reach an age appropriate level more quickly than could've been accomplished otherwise. I have no regrets about enrolling him in speech therapy.
Amanda was a huge part in Camden's progress, certainly. But a big thank you needs to be extended to my parents too. While Amanda's office is highly respected in the speech therapy community, it is also very expensive. It simply wouldn't have been possible for us to keep Camden enrolled in speech therapy twice a week for 9 months if it hadn't been for their kindness. So, Mom & Dad, whenever you hear Camden's sweet little voice chattering away, I hope you realize a lot of the credit for his progress is due to your generosity and selflessness. Thank you.
And to Camden-- buddy, I couldn't be prouder of you. Your determination and persistence has paid off, big time. I really believe there's nothing in this world you can't do if you put your mind to it. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for you, my smart, hard-working, and loving little man. I know you had no idea what it meant when I told you "congratulations" when we were driving away from Miss Amanda's today, but I hope you can always sense my pride in you. I'm so thankful to be your mommy.
When we first pulled up to the office 9 months ago, I was filled with hesitation and hope. I suppose you could say I was cautiously optimistic. We didn't have the greatest experience with Camden's first SLP, but I had heard such great things about this particular company that I just knew it had to work out. The therapist we were matched with was relatively young-- only a few years out of grad school-- which, I'll admit, made me a little nervous. Since, according to his former SLP, we were possibly dealing with apraxia, I knew we needed someone who was not only PROMPT certified, but someone who was also motivated, knowledgeable, and energetic. We found all of that in Amanda.
I knew from day one that she was the "one" for Camden. He was in the throes of stranger anxiety when we began speech therapy, but he warmed up to her playful yet laid back demeanor quickly. He was essentially non-verbal back then, but I still felt like we walked away from each session having accomplished something. And then slowly, some sounds began to emerge. I so clearly remember the first day he imitated a sound Amanda made-- something easy like "ba"-- and she and I looked at each other, smiling excitedly over his tiny blonde head. A breakthrough had happened, and we both knew it. Words followed shortly thereafter. And then there were short sentences. Today, there are long sentences, questions, stories, singing-- truly communicating. It is really astounding to reflect on how far he's come in the past 9 months.
Thankfully, Camden never did receive an apraxia diagnosis. It seems that he had a classic speech delay and just needed a push to get his words out. Would he have gotten there on his own without Amanda? Eventually, he probably would have. But I have no doubt that she helped him to reach an age appropriate level more quickly than could've been accomplished otherwise. I have no regrets about enrolling him in speech therapy.
Amanda was a huge part in Camden's progress, certainly. But a big thank you needs to be extended to my parents too. While Amanda's office is highly respected in the speech therapy community, it is also very expensive. It simply wouldn't have been possible for us to keep Camden enrolled in speech therapy twice a week for 9 months if it hadn't been for their kindness. So, Mom & Dad, whenever you hear Camden's sweet little voice chattering away, I hope you realize a lot of the credit for his progress is due to your generosity and selflessness. Thank you.
And to Camden-- buddy, I couldn't be prouder of you. Your determination and persistence has paid off, big time. I really believe there's nothing in this world you can't do if you put your mind to it. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for you, my smart, hard-working, and loving little man. I know you had no idea what it meant when I told you "congratulations" when we were driving away from Miss Amanda's today, but I hope you can always sense my pride in you. I'm so thankful to be your mommy.
Amanda mastered the art of being firm but fun with Camden. Most of the time, he didn't even realize he was "working" while playing with her.
His toy of choice for the last couple of months during speech? Bob the Builder.
Camden will miss his play buddy. And I will miss my pregnancy buddy! Amanda is due a week after me, and we often compared pregnancy stories & woes.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thoughts on the Homestretch
My acknowledgement of the fact that this pregnancy will be ending relatively soon is kind of fleeting. One minute, I'll start freaking out about needing to check off more tasks on my "To Do Before Macey" list that hangs on my fridge. Fast forward an hour and I'll have decided that six weeks is really a lot of time so catching up on the Bachelorette & the Real Housewives is a perfectly acceptable plan instead.
I guess the truth is that I have a ton of mixed feelings about welcoming a new baby into our family in just a handful of weeks. I'm excited, obviously, first and foremost. I can't wait to meet this little girl. I remember every moment from the day Camden was born so vividly, but none is as burned into my mind as the moment he was placed on my chest for the first time. If I ever doubted that I could fall madly in love with a stranger before that day, November 21, 2009 made it abundantly clear to me that it's entirely possible. I have loved that little boy with my whole heart from the very first moment I saw his precious face. The anticipation of getting to experience that first meeting again sometimes keeps me awake at night, my heart pounding with excitement. Oh, how I look forward to that moment.
But I also vividly remember how difficult the early days are with a newborn. I remember the intense sleep deprivation. I remember how difficult nursing was at first. I haven't forgotten the recovery period my body went through, and how I didn't feel quite human again until about 6 weeks after delivery. And I remind myself that back then, I was only dealing with one child. This time, I'll be going through that same recovery period while caring for a newborn and a toddler. I know, I know-- people do it all of the time and they get through it. I know I'll simply plow through those first several "survival weeks" the best I can and one morning I'll wake up and we'll magically be on the other side of survival-- we'll have found our routine and I'll know I can do this whole parenting 2 kids thing. But, I'd be lying if I said the thought of reliving the survival phase didn't scare me a teeny bit.
Mostly, though, I worry about parenting 2 kids well. I don't mean the simple logistics of having multiple kids, like learning how to cart them both around the grocery store or juggling bath times and bed times. That stuff I'll figure out. The thing is, Camden and I have a tight bond. Like, we're together all day, every day; there's rarely a waking moment that we spend separated from one another. I worry about how another child will affect the dynamics of my relationship with Camden. Obviously, it won't be realistic for me to continue to devote 100% of my time and affection to him and knowing that breaks my heart a little bit. Camden will have to learn to share me, and I'll have to figure out the delicate balance of ensuring that both children feel adequately cared for and loved. I have no aspirations of perfection in parenting, but I do think it's essential for both of my kids to know they're loved equally and unconditionally.
So, there's a lot going through my mind as I prepare to make the transition to "mom of 2". When it becomes too overwhelming, though, I think back to the last several weeks of my pregnancy with Camden and all of the doubts and worries that plagued my first-time-mom mind. And I remember how when I finally met him, none of those silly worries much mattered anymore, and everything kind of fell into place. It'll be that way again, I know, as we become a family of four.
I guess the truth is that I have a ton of mixed feelings about welcoming a new baby into our family in just a handful of weeks. I'm excited, obviously, first and foremost. I can't wait to meet this little girl. I remember every moment from the day Camden was born so vividly, but none is as burned into my mind as the moment he was placed on my chest for the first time. If I ever doubted that I could fall madly in love with a stranger before that day, November 21, 2009 made it abundantly clear to me that it's entirely possible. I have loved that little boy with my whole heart from the very first moment I saw his precious face. The anticipation of getting to experience that first meeting again sometimes keeps me awake at night, my heart pounding with excitement. Oh, how I look forward to that moment.
But I also vividly remember how difficult the early days are with a newborn. I remember the intense sleep deprivation. I remember how difficult nursing was at first. I haven't forgotten the recovery period my body went through, and how I didn't feel quite human again until about 6 weeks after delivery. And I remind myself that back then, I was only dealing with one child. This time, I'll be going through that same recovery period while caring for a newborn and a toddler. I know, I know-- people do it all of the time and they get through it. I know I'll simply plow through those first several "survival weeks" the best I can and one morning I'll wake up and we'll magically be on the other side of survival-- we'll have found our routine and I'll know I can do this whole parenting 2 kids thing. But, I'd be lying if I said the thought of reliving the survival phase didn't scare me a teeny bit.
Mostly, though, I worry about parenting 2 kids well. I don't mean the simple logistics of having multiple kids, like learning how to cart them both around the grocery store or juggling bath times and bed times. That stuff I'll figure out. The thing is, Camden and I have a tight bond. Like, we're together all day, every day; there's rarely a waking moment that we spend separated from one another. I worry about how another child will affect the dynamics of my relationship with Camden. Obviously, it won't be realistic for me to continue to devote 100% of my time and affection to him and knowing that breaks my heart a little bit. Camden will have to learn to share me, and I'll have to figure out the delicate balance of ensuring that both children feel adequately cared for and loved. I have no aspirations of perfection in parenting, but I do think it's essential for both of my kids to know they're loved equally and unconditionally.
So, there's a lot going through my mind as I prepare to make the transition to "mom of 2". When it becomes too overwhelming, though, I think back to the last several weeks of my pregnancy with Camden and all of the doubts and worries that plagued my first-time-mom mind. And I remember how when I finally met him, none of those silly worries much mattered anymore, and everything kind of fell into place. It'll be that way again, I know, as we become a family of four.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Baby Shower Photo Bomb.
My mom and sister hosted a baby shower for me a couple of weeks ago at my parents' lake house on the border of North Carolina and Virginia. It was a convenient location since most of my relatives live in the Richmond, VA area and the lake house is only about an hour drive from where I live in NC. Plus, what can beat a lake back drop for a baby shower? It was a pretty perfect day, even though it was a sweltering 105 degrees outside. Below are some highlights from the day:
Such a pretty centerpiece.
I adore this cake!
My sister-in-law made such a cute diaper cake.
The shower games begin. Measuring my belly to see who guessed the correct size.
My personal favorite game: the celebrity baby-parent matching game.
Gift time!
VA relatives.
My dad made an appearance!
Camden & Macey's grandmothers-- Nan (my mom on left) and Nonnie (Matt's mom on right)
My sister (left) and my pretend sis-in-law, Tricia (right)
Some great friends.
My lovely hosts-- my sis & mom
Such a great day.
I feel so fortunate to have so many friends and family that wanted to help celebrate Macey. Now we just wait for her arrival-- 6 weeks and counting!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
I love this. Even though it made me cry.
My baby shower was this past weekend at my parents' lake house. Even though it was a miserable 105 degrees, it was still a pretty perfect day. There's much more to say about that day-- and pictures to come later-- but I wanted to share this piece that my sister gave to me as part of a gift. She came across it when she was pregnant with her second child and thought it was very fitting. I think most moms who have more than one child already, are currently pregnant with their second child, or who are considering having more than one child can probably relate to these feelings. I know I can.
(This may or may not have had half of the room-- including myself-- crying as my sister read it. Consider yourself warned.)
(This may or may not have had half of the room-- including myself-- crying as my sister read it. Consider yourself warned.)
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of
our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within,
as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then she is born, and I watch you.
I watch the pain you feel at having to share me
as you've never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me."
And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't",
knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry, I cry with you.
I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship
we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being,
and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change...
first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of the days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times-- only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other,
touch each other.
I watch how she adores you-- as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by her new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you,
I've given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you-- only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time,
I now know you'll never share my love.
There's enough of that for both of you- you each have your own supply.
I love you- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
-Author Unknown
Thursday, July 5, 2012
An Interview with Camden (2.5 years old)
What's your name?
Answer: Tamen.
Translation: Camden.
What's your favorite toy to play with?
Answer: Soop and Lofty!
Translation: Scoop and Lofty, from Bob the Builder (a new obsession, though I don't think it's on the air anymore. Thank goodness for YouTube and DVDs.)
What's your favorite show to watch on TV?
Answer: New Atty Pig!
Translation: New episodes of Busytown Mysteries (on PBS) which stars cats and pigs as the main characters.
What's your favorite book to read?
Answer: Ummm......[insert loooong pause here].....Really big poop one!
Translation: "Everyone Poops". Is anyone really surprised by this answer after my last few entries?
Whose house do you like to play at?
Answer: Wawa's house!
Translation: His cousin Will's house. Camden can clearly say "Will", but still insists on calling him "Wawa". Same with our dog, Maggie. He can say Maggie with no problem, but still calls her "Baby". I have to admit that I kind of love these nicknames and hope they stick around for a while.
Where do you like to go in the car?
Answer: To get pancakes!
Translation: I frequent the McDonald's drive-thru for breakfast more often than I care to admit.
What's your favorite color?
Answer: Yella!
Translation: Yellow!
What's your favorite thing to eat?
Answer: Eat candy! Blue candy!
Translation: I am stumped. I was totally expecting his answer to be cookies or brownies or maybe even yogurt. I have no idea what "blue candy" he's referring to, but he was excited by it.
What's your baby sister's name?
Answer: Matey!
Translation: Macey!
How old are you?
Answer: Six.
Translation: If you ask him how old anyone is turning on his/her birthday, his answer is always one or sixty. Except for him-- apparently, he's six. Who knew.
What---
Answer: You all done, Mommy?
Translation: This interview is over.
Translation: Camden.
What's your favorite toy to play with?
Answer: Soop and Lofty!
Translation: Scoop and Lofty, from Bob the Builder (a new obsession, though I don't think it's on the air anymore. Thank goodness for YouTube and DVDs.)
What's your favorite show to watch on TV?
Answer: New Atty Pig!
Translation: New episodes of Busytown Mysteries (on PBS) which stars cats and pigs as the main characters.
What's your favorite book to read?
Answer: Ummm......[insert loooong pause here].....Really big poop one!
Translation: "Everyone Poops". Is anyone really surprised by this answer after my last few entries?
Whose house do you like to play at?
Answer: Wawa's house!
Translation: His cousin Will's house. Camden can clearly say "Will", but still insists on calling him "Wawa". Same with our dog, Maggie. He can say Maggie with no problem, but still calls her "Baby". I have to admit that I kind of love these nicknames and hope they stick around for a while.
Where do you like to go in the car?
Answer: To get pancakes!
Translation: I frequent the McDonald's drive-thru for breakfast more often than I care to admit.
What's your favorite color?
Answer: Yella!
Translation: Yellow!
What's your favorite thing to eat?
Answer: Eat candy! Blue candy!
Translation: I am stumped. I was totally expecting his answer to be cookies or brownies or maybe even yogurt. I have no idea what "blue candy" he's referring to, but he was excited by it.
What's your baby sister's name?
Answer: Matey!
Translation: Macey!
How old are you?
Answer: Six.
Translation: If you ask him how old anyone is turning on his/her birthday, his answer is always one or sixty. Except for him-- apparently, he's six. Who knew.
What---
Answer: You all done, Mommy?
Translation: This interview is over.
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