Letter to Macey (3 months old!)

Dear Macey (or May-May, as your brother has lovingly named you):

You're 3 months old & your brother is 3 years old! Time seems to be flying by-- especially when I look at pictures of the early days when we first brought you home from the hospital and I remember how tiny and fragile you seemed. Yet, it also seems somehow strange that it's only been 3 months since you joined our family. In an odd way, I feel like I've known you forever and you've been here all along. You just fit with us.

At 3 months old, you:

• Coo. A lot. You have long, animated "discussions" with Camden, Daddy, me, inanimate objects, stuffed animals-- pretty much, anything & anyone that grabs your attention. "Ah goo" is your favorite catch phrase.
• You roll from your tummy to your back with ease. This has made daytime naps tricky. You were my excellent napper when I let you sleep on your tummy. But now that you know how to roll? Well, as soon as I lay you down for a nap, you flip right on over and start cooing at the ceiling. You won't fall asleep on your back, so...this is a definite work in progress. And while I'm bummed about your super napping days being over (for now), I'm so excited about your rolling. Milestones are just as exciting the second time around!
• Smile ALL.THE.TIME. Seriously, it's all you do. Even when you're tired and starting to get fussy, you'll smile in between fusses. It's pretty much the most adorable smile ever.
• Nurse, on average, every 3 hours. When you nap well, sometimes you'll go 4 hours between nursing sessions. On catnap days (like today), you want to nurse more frequently-- every 2 hours or so.
• Aren't the best night sleeper. I don't think I produce good night sleepers. Generally, I can get at least a 4 hour stretch out of you early on in the night (sometimes 5, occasionally a glorious 6 hours), but after that-- you're up every 2 hours. And you're very restless between 4-6am. "This too shall pass" is my mantra when it comes to night sleep right now.
• Aren't on a real nap schedule yet. When you have your good nap days, you'll take at least one 3 hour nap and a couple of catnaps. Some days, you'll take a couple of two hour naps. And then there are the dreaded catnap-all-day days. Those aren't our favorite days.
• Love the Ergo & going for walks outside.
• LOVE Mickey Mouse, much like your brother did at this age (and still does). You grin at the TV when Camden happens to be watching Mickey & you always offer a big gummy smile to the little plush Mickey Mouse doll that sits on the side of your changing table.
• Wear mostly 0-3 month clothes and size 2 diapers.
• Are weighing in at 11 lbs, 6 oz (according to my home scale).
• Are starting to really enjoy batting at toys.
• Love to kick and splash in the bathtub. Your eyes get so wide with excitement while you're kicking.
• Have a very pleasant, happy, easy-going demeanor.

So, that's you at 3 months old, my sweet girl. I'm so excited for all that's to come-- when you start crawling, babbling, walking, and on and on-- yet I'm also trying to remember to really soak in every moment here and now. I couldn't love you more, Macey Jean, and I'm so happy you're my daughter.

Love,
Mommy

 

A little rest during tummy time.

 

"Ah gooooo"

 

My pretty girl.

 

 

Three Year Check-Up

Seeing an appointment for a check-up for Camden on the calendar used to fill me with dread. For nearly 2 years of his life, Camden hated going to the doctor. From the time he was about 9 months old until he was about 2 and a half years old, his stranger anxiety was so severe that he would start shaking as soon as a doctor walked into the room. Even climbing on the scale to check his weight was a big ordeal. And if they tried to look in his ears or shine a light in his eyes? Commence screaming. It was never a pleasant experience for Camden or for me-- and, I'm sure, it wasn't exactly a picnic for the doctors and nurses we encountered either.

Today was Camden's 3 year well-child check-up and it was an entirely different experience. I knew Camden was over his stranger anxiety so I was curious to see how it would go. I didn't expect, however, that he'd smile at everyone, bounce happily down the hallway, and high five the doctors. Basically? He had a great time at the appointment (well, until he got his flu shot & his finger pricked, but no one really enjoys that).

I was also surprised at how involved the appointment was. Up until this point, well-child checks had consisted of lots of questions for me concerning Camden's development, a quick physical examination, a weight check, and some vaccinations. Pretty routine stuff. So, I was surprised today when I took the back seat at this appointment and all questions were addressed to Camden. Right away, he was asked to say his own name (first and last), how old he is, and if he's a boy or a girl. Then they took him off to another room for an eye exam where he had to identify various shapes on a chart. My favorite part of this exam? When the nurse got to one of the really tiny, nearly impossible to see lines and pointed to a shape, Camden said, "I don't know that baby shape."

When we headed back to our room,  Camden was asked to draw a circle and to identify several different colors. Then the physical exam began and I got to watch Camden balance carefully on each foot, touch his toes, and perform some other tasks-- all with ease. Since I don't get to see Camden in a preschool or daycare setting, today was really the first time I got to see him put all of his skills and abilities on display for someone other than me and I have to say: I was a proud mama.

But the best part of the appointment? (Well, other than having a healthy, "smart as a whip", 3 year old...) When the NP finished asking Camden a series of questions, she turned to me and said, "Well, his speech is perfect." I seriously could've cried at that statement, given all of the worry, hard work, and effort that went into Camden's speech over the past year.

And just because I can never conclude a well-child check-up recap without documenting how ridiculously skinny my kids are: Camden is weighing in at 28 lbs. Pretty sure that child doesn't have an ounce of fat on his body, much like his daddy. He's been long and lean since day one.

 

We adore this guy.

Happy Birthday, Camden

Dear Camden,

You are THREE. I'm really not sure how that happened when it was just yesterday that I saw your tiny heartbeat flickering on the ultrasound screen and it finally hit me that I was really and truly going to be a mom. I don't know how you're already three when I promise you it was just yesterday that you were placed on my chest in the hospital and I marveled at that head full of white blonde hair. It couldn't be three years ago already, could it? Where does the time go?

The time, it turns out, passed by quickly in the form of many days, weeks, and months filled with all of the joy you've brought into our lives. My sweet boy, we tried for nearly two years to have a baby, and I have felt from the very moment my eyes met yours that you were entirely worth the wait. You are so many different things: sweet, thoughtful, kind, loving, determined, feisty, smart, funny-- you're just the perfect balance of  many different traits that make you the boy I am so proud to call my son.

I've loved every minute of watching you grow up so far. I remember the big moments so clearly: your first real smile right before we left to go to a Christmas dinner; the first time you crawled; your first clumsy steps into my arms; the first time you babbled (an angry "BABABABABA!" when you wanted out of your highchair); your first word (mama). I remember the tough moments too, of course: your tumble down the stairs when you were a year old, the (many, many) sleepless nights, the severe stranger anxiety that you finally outgrew over the past year. But the good times and happy memories have FAR outweighed those challenging parenting moments.

 Last year at this time, you could only say a handful of words. Now, after working your butt off in speech therapy for nearly a year, you're quite the conversationalist. I never get tired of hearing your stories, your songs, and yes-- even your constant questions. I don't take them for granted, because I knew what it took to get to this point. I hope you always know how proud Daddy and I are of your will and determination.

A few months ago, you became a big brother. You probably won't remember that period of your life; your memories will most likely begin with Macey already a part of our family. But I want you to know what a loving and sweet brother you've been to her. It's not always easy transitioning from only child to big brother, but you've done it remarkably well. You're constantly hugging her, talking to her, and wanting to help with her. Often, your first question when you wake in the morning is, "Where's Mace?!" And you know what? Your little sister is pretty crazy about you too. She always smiles at the sound of your cheerful voice.

Of course, I can't conclude this letter without mentioning some of your favorite things. At three years old, you love: your family, first and foremost. Playing outside. The Imagination Movers. Angry Birds. Play-Doh. Coloring, painting, and drawing. Your cousin, Will, who's your very best friend. Puzzles. Construction equipment. Singing (current favorite songs: Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Row Your Boat, and the ABCs). Using my Kindle or Nan's iPad. Having company over at the house. Football Sundays with Nan, Pop, and Chris. Helping with anything- cooking, packing Daddy's lunch, giving Macey a bath.

You and I have a daily running dialogue. You ask, "How do you love me, Mommy?" and you smile with anticipation as you wait for my response that you have memorized. "A little teeny, tiny bit," I reply as your smile gets bigger. And then, you recite along with me, "No! I love you soooo stinkin much." And I do, Camden. You're everything I could've asked for in a son; you're the perfect fit for our little family.

I love you, my first born. Thank you for making me a mommy. Happy 3rd birthday!

Love,
Mommy

All-business nursing.

I admit that I have to laugh when I hear people describe nursing as a relaxing, soothing experience for the mom. I have no doubt that this is indeed the case for some moms. I remember when I was in the hospital right after Camden was born and a lactation consultant came to my room to check in on me. She gave me a few latching tips and then mentioned that Camden should be nursing about 15-20 minutes on each side. So, 30-40 minutes of nursing total should be the norm.

I think the only time either of my kids has spent 40 minutes at my boobs is when they've passed out in a milk-induced sleep. My kids do not nurse leisurely, and when thinking of a way to describe nursing from my point of view? Well, let's just say that 'relaxing' does not top my list of adjectives.

First, let me be clear: I am so thankful that I'm able to nurse my babies. I know that's not the case for every woman, and it's not something I take for granted. But my kids? They are all business when it's time to eat (side note: I'm not still nursing Camden. He's been weaned for 2 years. I'm referring to the past when mentioning Camden's nursing habits). When it first became clear that Camden would nurse for, on average, 5-10 minutes total (not per side!), I was alarmed. For him, nursing was like a sprint: get in there, get it done, and move on with the day. No slow sipping, no leisurely relaxation in mom's arms. Eating was all business for him.

The first few days after Macey was born, she would nurse 20 minutes per side. I thought that maybe this time I had a baby who enjoyed leisurely nursing and made sure to prepare myself for 30-40 minute nursing sessions at each feeding. But then? My milk came in on the fourth day after her birth, and Macey decided that it was a good time to take a page out of her brother's feeding manual and ensure that nursing lasted no more than 5-10 minutes total. This time, I didn't freak out. I accepted what I initially tried to fight with Camden: I had another all-business nurser.

Sure, there are advantages to having a quick, efficient nurser. I am never tied down on the couch for long periods of time nursing a baby. When Macey is eating and Camden decides that he also must have something at that very moment, I can say, "Give me just a minute, buddy. I'll get it as soon as I'm done feeding Macey." And that's actually a truthful statement. Five minutes later, I'm up and getting things done again.

But there are disadvantages, too. I don't mind so much missing out on that whole peaceful, relaxation thing because really-- who has time to relax with a toddler and infant anyway? But I'm a natural worrier, and when my baby only eats for 8 minutes when it's been 3.5 hours since her last feeding? Yeah, I worry. You might recall that Camden's old pediatrician initially had some concerns about his slow weight gain during the first year of his life. And that whole experience pretty much brought out the Crazy in me, and I obsessed about his weight for months. (Yes, I'm over that now. Camden is tall and skinny, just like his Daddy. He will totally be one of those people who can eat 6 dozen donuts and never gain a pound.) But just recalling those days makes me anxious, and I have to admit that I am now the proud owner of a baby scale. As for Macey? Well, she's also a slow gainer. And while the logical part of me knows that she's likely going to be just like her brother, I still worry. And I still sometimes try to force an extra minute or two when she's nursing. (For the record? That doesn't work-- at all. When a baby decides she's done nursing, there's no convincing her otherwise and she'll offer her I'm-going-to-gag-at-any-second face as proof.)

So, that's that: I produce tall, skinny, all-business nursers. Anyone else?

Baby Carrier Identity Crisis

Apparently I have a lot of trouble committing to a baby carrier.

When Camden was a baby, I didn't babywear much. Well, correction: I didn't babywear much using an actual baby wearing device. I just held him all day long, napped with him, and slept with him at night. So, pretty sure he wasn't lacking in the whole bonding department.

When I was pregnant with Macey, I knew I'd want and need to babywear more often. Because having a toddler and a newborn? It's no joke, and I knew I'd need my hands free as often as possible. It's not like I could say, "Camden, why don't you cook us up some dinner while I hold your sister?" or "Go ahead and wipe your own butt, Camden. Can't you see that Macey is sleeping on my chest right now?"

Nope- clearly not happening. Which is why babywearing has become so important to me. It allows me to multitask and multitasking when you have two kids? It's key to survival.

Which brings me back to my commitment issues. Where do I begin? At the beginning, I suppose.

Let me introduce you to my first baby carrier love: The Bjorn. The Bjorn was given to me as a hand-me-down and I wore Camden in it a handful of times. I used it fairly often with Macey too; she'd often fall asleep in it while I was cooking and/or eating dinner. We also used it for walks outside. Macey seemed to find it comfortable. I, on the other hand, did not find it very comfortable. Or, more specifically, my shoulders didn't find it comfortable. At all. If I wore Macey for more than 20 or 30 minutes in the Bjorn, I felt like I needed to schedule a massage afterwards.

Then, there was the ring sling. We only had a very brief affair, so I hesitate to even mention it. I wanted a ring sling, but knew nothing about them. Then I saw that Dr. Sears endorsed this particular one, and I was sold. Because Dr. Sears knows everything, right? So I purchased my ring sling when I was pregnant and even practiced carrying a Cabbage Patch doll in it before Macey was born. Yes, I really just admitted to that. But the thing is-- real babies just aren't quite like Cabbage Patch dolls and I found it entirely awkward to carry Macey in this thing. I always felt like she wasn't comfortable or like she was getting smothered, which just meant that I was staring at her the whole time she was in it and not getting anything else done. And that kind of defeats the whole purpose of babywearing, you know? So I broke up with the ring sling.

Next up: the Moby wrap. The Moby is quite popular and I figured if all of the ladies were raving about this wrap, there must be something to it. When it arrived in the mail, I'll admit that I was fairly baffled that it was just a huge piece of fabric. And I probably spent 30 minutes watching You Tube "how to put on a Moby wrap" instructional videos. But once it was on? I loved it. It was so comfortable-- definitely ergonomically correct, unlike the Bjorn. The first couple of times I put Macey in it were tricky for me, but once I got the hang of it, I used it often. But. (Of course, there's a but. Commitment problems, remember?) There are a few issues I have with the Moby: first, it's freakin' hot. It's a lot of fabric, which is fine in the fall & winter. But there is no way I'd be able to wrap myself all up like that during a North Carolina summer. Also, if I tried to do anything more than cook dinner, stand still, or walk slowly around my house while wearing the Moby, it would start to slip down. No matter how tightly I tied it. I attempted to take Macey and Camden for a walk one day while wearing the Moby and I only got about a block away before the thing was practically around my ankles. Finally, it's kind of a pain in the butt to put on. So, the Moby and I had a good run, but ultimately, we weren't right for each other.

I'm glad to say that today, I am happily settled down. It took a long time to get to this place, but it was worth the wait. These days, I happily babywear Macey in an Ergo. I had lusted after the Ergo for a while, but it's pricey. So, I casually mentioned to Matt that it might be an excellent birthday or Christmas present for me, and he told me to go ahead and order it. Yes, he won big points for that one. It was clear from the moment the Ergo arrived that we were a match made in heaven. Like the Moby, the Ergo is ergonomically correct. But it's simple to put on, light weight (read: I won't die of a heat stroke while wearing Macey during the summmer), and very comfortable for Macey. She's usually asleep within 3 minutes of being placed in the Ergo. It's snug and secure, so there's no sliding down my body while I'm walking around. This time, I'm in it for the long haul (no, seriously-- I can use the Ergo until Macey's a toddler by wearing her on my back. I can even back carry Camden in the Ergo).

So, there you have it: my baby carrier identity crisis resolved. Which carriers are your favorite?

This and That.

It's probably a little ridiculous how excited I got when I walked over to the kitchen table last week and saw Camden's latest artistic creation. I never thought I would be one of those moms-- you know, the kind that hoards every art project her child ever created. But I fear I'm going to become one, because I snatched up the piece of paper the moment I saw it, labeled and dated it, and stashed it away in Camden's Memory Box. But, really, his first smiley face (with hair!!) is worthy of this kind of excitement on my part, right? Just tell me yes.

***********************************

I totally slacked on a Halloween post last week, and now it feels a little late in the game to do an entire recap of the night. The highlights were: Camden was an Angry Bird; Macey had an adorable pumpkin hat; Camden trick-or-treated with his cousins and some neighbors; Camden stayed out for over an hour, running from house to house, and never asking anyone to carry his overflowing pumpkin basket for him (last year, he pawned that basket off on me at like the 3rd house we hit up); Camden is more interested in the process of trick-or-treating than actually eating the candy (but no worries-- the candy hasn't gone to waste. It's a rarity these days to see Matt without a pumpkin basket dangling off his wrist.) Basically? Halloween was a big time hit this year.

 

An Angry Bird & Scooby Doo (or, Camden & Will)

 

No trick-or-treating for her this year, but she still got in the spirit of the night.

 

Da family.

 

The trick-or-treating gang.

 

With Pop & Daddy.

 

Nan & Pop with their grandkids (minus Macey).

 

Camden's stash. Otherwise known as Matt's stash.

 

 

It never gets any easier.

Yesterday was Macey's two month well baby check-up. I dreaded it for weeks because I knew it would include her first round of vaccinations. The first time Camden got vaccinated, I cried more than he did. This time, I braced myself because I knew what to expect and while I was able to fight back the tears, it still sucked. Big time.

See this? This was Macey's happy, unexpecting face right before we left to head to the doctor's office.

Talk about a mommy guilt trip: a smiling baby that has no idea what's coming.

And she happily smiled through all of the doctor's poking, prodding, and measuring. In fact, that grin stayed on her face until the very second the needle went into her chunky little thigh. And then, out came the bottom lip, her face turned beet red, and the screaming began.

While I hated every minute of it, I knew it was necessary and the right thing to do and that made it a little easier.

On another note, Macey weighed in at 10 lbs, 11 oz and has grown to 22 and 1/4 inches. Two months old already-- man, this baby stuff goes by quickly.