Happy First Birthday!

My Macey Jean,

One year ago today, we welcomed you into this world, into our family.

The day before you were born, I had been having contractions since the early morning. I sat on the couch for much of the day, timing my contractions and anxiously anticipating the moment I would meet you. There were so many emotions running through my mind: I was so, so excited to see your sweet face and hold you in my arms. I wondered what it would be like to have a little girl. I also felt nervous about the ways in which our lives were going to change. You see, before you came along, your brother was an only child. He was my first born, my sidekick for nearly 3 years. Was it possible to love another child as much as I love your brother? I had wondered that often during the 9 months I carried you, and as I counted down the final hours until our first meeting, that question weighed heavily on my mind.

At 10:12am on August 30, 2012, we welcomed you into this world. Your entrance was simple and sweet: the doctor told me to stop pushing and to just laugh and you'd come right on out. It was an odd request, but I followed his instructions- I let out a small laugh, and it was immediately followed by a loud cry. You had arrived, and you were perfect.

You were so easy to love from the very first moment I held you. The end of my pregnancy was a little dramatic-- it was filled with concerns about my fluid levels and thus several ultrasounds and weekly nonstress tests-- so I joked that you were going to be my little drama queen. That assessment of you couldn't be further from the truth. You are so full of joy every single day; truly, we all could benefit from living even a day of our lives as joyfully as you do every moment.

This past year of watching you develop, learn, and grow has been such a gift. Your tiny frame and sweet face fool everyone into thinking that you're a delicate, fragile girl when nothing could be further from the truth. You are my spirited child; you are adventurous and completely fearless. You are a sponge, soaking in the world around you with an enthusiasm that is contagious. You spoke your first words at 10 months old; you took your first steps a few weeks after that. You're surrounded by older boys-- your brother, whom you love dearly, and your older cousins-- and you don't miss a beat when you're with them. My tiny girl has no qualms about hanging with the big boys.

The relationship you've developed with Camden brings me so much happiness. You have your moments, of course-- usually when you innocently approach Camden and snatch whatever toy he's most interested in out of his unsuspecting hands-- but you two are becoming the best of friends and I'm so thankful that you're both able to experience the sibling bond. Watching you two rolling around in the ball pit squealing with laughter fills my heart up so completely.

When I was pregnant, your daddy used to wonder if he'd be able to relate to a girl as well as he related to your big brother. The answer is a resounding yes. You have such a special bond with your daddy-- you follow him around in the morning as he gets ready for work and you start yelling "Dada!" as you race to the front door as fast as your little legs will carry you when your daddy returns home in the evening. There's no doubt you're a bit of a daddy's girl.

But you're my girl too, Macey. You're my little shadow-- following me around the kitchen as I cook dinner, running across the room just to be picked up for a hug. Every morning, I walk into your room and am greeted by your happy grin. And every morning as we snuggle up for a few minutes, I tell you the same thing: I am so incredibly lucky that you're mine.

So the answer to the question that plagued my mind one year ago as I waited for you to make your entrance-- was it really possible to love another child the way I loved your big brother? Was there enough room in my heart? -- is unequivocally yes. I didn't know it back then, but there was always a space in my heart reserved just for you, my sweet daughter.

I love you, my perfect Macey Jean. Happy first birthday.

Love,
Mommy

 

 

 

 

 

My Wild Child

A few years ago, my sister asked me if we were going to buy some child safety locks for the doors in our house so that Camden wouldn't escape and roam the neighborhood without supervision. I shook my head, explaining to her that Camden would never even consider going outside without us. That was true then, and it's still true today. At almost 4 years old, Camden will occasionally open the front door to peek out, but will never so much as stick a toe outside without permission.

Things are a little different this time around. Miss Macey Jean-- my 16 pound peanut-- is as adventurous as they come. Physically, Macey is a clone of me; she is almost identical to the toddler staring up at the camera my mom held in the early 80's. However, that's where the similarities end. I've mentioned before that Camden inherited my temperament: he's a little reserved and slow to warm up to new people; he's cautious and observes before jumping in to a new activity; he's thoughtful and sensitive; he's a rule follower and a people pleaser. Macey, on the other hand, seems to have inherited her daddy's carefree disposition. She's never met a stranger, she adapts easily to new surroundings, she's feisty and can hang with the big boys. Basically, she's fearless. Which is awesome-- while it's totally foreign to me, I absolutely love her personality. But it also means that she keeps me on my toes in a way her big brother never did.

The other day, I had the kids out front while we waited for Matt to get home from work. Macey was exploring the grass, then moved along to strolling down the sidewalk, with Camden and I following closely behind. During our little walk, we ran into some new neighbors who had just moved in a few houses down. While I chatted with the neighbors, I had to stop every third word to grab Macey, who repeatedly made a beeline for the street, simply because I had told her not to; the word "no" makes anything and everything more enticing to Macey. Meanwhile, Camden stood dutifully by my side.

This morning, in a span of 10 minutes, I found Macey in the following places: digging through the trashcan (later, I had to recover a pair of Camden's shorts from said trashcan); heading towards the toilet with a Matchbox car; and climbing on top of the kitchen table because she was absolutely certain that Camden's bowl of cereal would taste a little bit better with her toes in it.

I can't even begin to tell you how many pieces of furniture we've relocated or removed from the house because they were climbing hazards for our little monkey. I can't count the number of times I've sent a text to my mom or Matt with a picture attached and the caption "Look what I just found..." (last night, it was a picture of 3 pairs of Camden's underwear stuffed into a drawer in the dining room). We've also found some of Camden's beloved toys in the diaper trash can and shoved down into a cereal box in the pantry. Luckily, Camden finds Macey's shenanigans pretty hilarious. And, even though having a highly spirited child means that downtime is non-existent for me these days, I have to admit that I spend a good portion of every day laughing at her antics and wondering what her next move will be.

I adore this little girl.

Playing catch up

Why hello there, my poor neglected little blog. It's not that there hasn't been anything to write about-- quite the opposite actually. There's been a lot going on 'round these parts which means little free time for me. So what's been keeping us so occupied? Let's see:

-My classes for the fall semester start tomorrow, which means I've been doing a lot of book ordering and organizing to try to get myself ready to be a student again. This will be the first time I've been a student while having two kids; the last time I took classes was right before Macey was due. Then I gave myself some much needed time off while caring for a newborn. But it's time to get back at it and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a tad nervous about how I'm going to juggle this additional ball that I'm preparing to toss into the air.

-Macey is about to turn one, which means I've been doing some major birthday party prepping. I'm trying not to overwhelm myself with ideas from Pinterest (seriously-- I have no idea how some of these moms have the time/energy/money/creativity to throw some of these Pinterest-worthy parties for their kids, but more power to them I guess!). I do have some cute ideas in mind and the pieces are starting to come together. Also? My mom and I picked out the cutest birthday party dress for Macey yesterday. It's the perfect match for her Minnie Mouse themed party and I can't wait to see her wearing it on her big day.

-Not that this has kept us busy, but we did find out that Camden got the preschool teachers that we were hoping he would get. I don't think I've mentioned that we had a preference previously, but we did. It wouldn't have been a huge deal if he had been assigned another teacher, but my sister's boys attended this preschool previously and my sister felt like two teachers in particular would be the best fit for Camden and Will (her son). Oh, and it's official that Camden & Will are in the same class too, so we're pretty happy about the preschool situation all around. We go to meet the teachers next week-- this is all happening so quickly!

-We've had some play dates over the past week. I'll admit that I've been a huge play date slacker since Macey was born. When it was just Camden and me, I think it's fair to say that we kept pretty busy-- story time at the library, play dates with friends, afternoons at the museum, etc. Then we brought a newborn into the mix which meant being home for naps and, quite honestly, I was pretty intimidated at the thought of taking two kids out by myself for a long time! That fear has long since passed and we're starting to get out and about more often now; I assume our days will only get busier as Macey gets closer to dropping her morning nap.

So, life's been busy and hectic-- but in a good way. I'm sure I'll be around more often to document upcoming birthday parties and first days of school!

A series of updates

My thoughts are scattered and random right now; nothing that I want to blog about fits neatly into one category. Hence, my series of updates title. So, here we go:

Macey's Sleep:

We are officially one week (and one day) into our sleep training with Macey. I'm proud (and shocked and ecstatic) to say that Miss Macey Jean has officially slept through the night the past two nights. Two nights ago, she slept from 8:15-7:50. Last night, she slept from 8:30-7. Not too shabby, right? All of the credit for her success goes to Matt- he is the sleep training master. The best part? There was very little crying involved in this process. We are living proof that you don't have to use one of the textbook sleep training plans to have success. We just did what felt right to us and thankfully, it worked well for Macey. I'm so proud of Macey and so thankful for Matt's patience and persistence.

Macey's Walking!

Macey started taking a few steps when she was about 10.5 months old. In the past week, she has been walking more and more consistently, but I still didn't know when to call her an "official" walker. She was still crawling at least half the time. The past few days, though, she's walking most of the time-- crawling is becoming a rarity. She has learned to go from crawling to standing to walking, so while she might start off with a crawl, she inevitably ends up walking to her destination. So I think it's time to make the official declaration: I have a walker.

 

Camden & Preschool:

Three more weeks until Camden starts preschool! I took him to his school last week to turn in some registration forms. It was the first time he had been there since our preschool tour back in January. I want to expose him to it as much as possible in these last weeks leading up to his first day of school so that he's as familiar with the building as possible on his first day. We spent about 30 minutes on the school playground and when it was time to leave he declared, "I sure do love my new school, Mommy." I didn't break it to him that there's a little bit more involved in school than swings and slides. We will head back to his preschool again at the end of the month to meet his teachers and then school officially starts after Labor Day. It feels totally surreal that I have a child starting preschool. I'm going to be a complete and utter disaster on his first day but I've already promised myself that I will make it out to the parking lot before I let the meltdown commence.

Instagram:

It's no secret that I'm always a latecomer to social technology fads. I have, however, finally fallen in love with Instagram. If you'd like to follow along with us there, my name is: @KLO1215

The dreaded sleep training post.

It's no secret that Macey is a terrible sleeper. Scratch that: she's a terrible night sleeper. With the exception of the occasional off day here and there, she's always been pretty great at nap time. Know why? Because I worked hard to make sure she was a good napper from her earliest days home with us. With a 3-year-old who needs me too, having Macey nap on my chest or spending 30 minutes rocking her to sleep was simply not an option.

Then there was her night time sleep. It started off pretty good, actually. There was even a time when she was around 3 months old when I remember texting my mom these exact words: "Macey slept 8 hours last night!" I couldn't believe it: I was going to have a baby who slept through the night without sleep training! (If you're a long time reader of my blog, you'll recall that Camden most certainly didn't sleep through the night without sleep training, and he didn't sleep through the night at all until he was about 15 months old).

Yeah-- that 8 hour stretch turned into the exception, not the rule. For a long time, she'd start off the night with a decent stretch-- sometimes 4 hours, sometimes 6 hours-- and then she'd wake every 2 hours after that. I spent most of the night on a mattress on the floor of her room and inevitably she'd end up sleeping next to me at some point in the wee hours of the morning. That led to her sleeping next to me for half the night-- which then led to her sleeping with me for almost the entire night.

Let me be clear: I am not knocking co-sleeping. Not at all. Truly, in an ideal scenario, I'd co-sleep with Macey all night long and we'd both sleep through the night. I sleep more comfortably knowing that my kids are close by. Camden slept with us more often than not until recent months. So, yeah-- I'd say I'm certainly pro co-sleeping-- when both mom and child are actually sleeping.

Macey and I? Well, we were not sleeping. Not much anyway. Our bodies were so in tune with each other that any time one of us moved (which was a lot- I wouldn't describe either one of us as peaceful sleepers) the other would be woken up. All. night. long. And the only way Macey would go back to sleep was by comfort nursing. So, she'd wake every 1-2 hours after an initial 3 hour stretch to start the night and then want to nurse for about 2 minutes before falling back to sleep for another hour or two.

And truly? Even that didn't bother me much. I mean, sure-- it was far from ideal. But I always thought things like, She's my last baby or These days are so short and they will pass and Camden went through this too and he sleeps well now. And all of that is still true.

Then I had kind of an epiphany over the past few weeks. I realized that I wasn't being Super Mom by making a martyr of myself as a walking zombie; instead, I started to feel like I was doing a disservice to Macey by not letting her learn how to put herself to sleep. Why the change in my way of thinking? Well, there was one night in particular that was my turning point. Macey woke about every 45 minutes that night and kept sitting up and crying, rubbing her eyes in frustration. She was exhausted. She wanted to go to sleep. She had no clue how to put herself back to sleep. I really felt like I was depriving her of a pretty necessary life skill.

I made a decision at about 3:30am that night (okay, early that morning): it was time to start sleep training. Which meant that it was time to surrender control and let Matt take the reins. Why Matt? Well, I definitely think that I have a lot of strengths when it comes to parenting my kids, but sleep training is not even close to one of them. In fact, I'd venture to say it's my parenting kryptonite. Matt, on the other hand, is a pretty darn amazing sleep trainer. He has willpower that far surpasses my own in the middle of the night.

We officially started sleep training last night. We don't do cry-it-out in my house; it's just not something that I've ever felt overly comfortable with as a parent. What we're doing is pretty simple and doesn't really follow any of the classic sleep training methods: I put Macey to bed after nursing her, reading her a couple of books, and changing her into her PJs. She goes in her crib awake but drowsy (after months of rocking and/or nursing her to sleep). Fussing is allowed, but if there's hard crying, I return and pat her little booty or just sit with my hand on her back until she falls asleep. No picking her up out of her crib, no eye contact, no talking. After she falls asleep, I go to bed and let the pro take over. Right now, that means that Matt is camping out on the mattress on Macey's bedroom floor. When she wakes during the night, he lays her back down (because she always stands up immediately upon waking) and rubs her back. Again, no talking or removing her from her crib (and clearly, no nursing). Repeat for each waking. Last night went relatively well for the notoriously awful first night of sleep training and I already saw progress when I put her to bed tonight (she went straight to sleep with no fussing).

I know it's a process. Matt knows it's a process. But the important thing here is that we've begun the process. It was time. Here's to many restful nights ahead for the whole family.