Life of a preschooler

As most of you will probably recall, I was more than a little nervous about Camden starting preschool. I was having visions (okay, nightmares) about the first day drop off: I pictured him screaming loudly, clinging to my leg with all of his might, and having to be forcibly removed from my body by all three of his teachers forming a chain and ripping him away from me. Okay, so maybe that's a tad dramatic, but I was sure that his first day of preschool would be traumatic for both of us.

And then it wasn't. Then came the next day and the day after that and they weren't traumatic either. I thought back to an email my friend sent to me a couple of weeks before preschool started. Her daughter was also on the shy side but had really blossomed at preschool and she reassured me that Camden would probably be the same way. And you know what? That's exactly what's been happening.

Camden has changed in so many ways over the past few weeks. I know part of it is that he's approaching his fourth birthday (!!), so there's a certain level of maturity he has now that he didn't even a few months ago. But I also know that, without a doubt, so many of the positive changes I've noted in him are due to attending preschool away from home. There are basic things, like consistently remembering to use his manners. Of course, he's always been a polite kid, but now he's quick to offer an "I'm sorry, Mommy" if he so much as accidentally bumps into me when he walks by. Then there's his newfound independence. He doesn't want my help with much these days: he dresses himself after using the potty (something he wasn't doing before preschool), and if I even attempt to assist him with anything, he'll often say, "I can do it myself, Mommy. I'm big now."

I've mentioned before that his cousin/best friend, Will, is in his preschool class. Camden's teachers told my sister and me that their plan was to begin separating Will and Camden during various activities throughout the day, as they tended to remain glued to each other's sides. Upon hearing of their plan, I was a little nervous-- what if Camden only liked preschool because he got to be hand in hand with Will all day? Camden has always been a little more reserved around other children, so I wondered if he'd make friends without his trusty sidekick there as a security blanket. It turns out, I had nothing to worry about. When I picked the boys up from school a week ago, Camden told me matter-of-factly, "Will went to Discovery today. I didn't go." I asked what he did while his cousin was in another classroom and he responded with, "I played with my other friends." Cue the deepest sigh of relief ever from this mama upon hearing how casually he relayed this information to me.

I can't count the number of times over the past few weeks that Camden has said to me, "School is awesome, Mommy!" Every night, he asks if the following day is a school day and is disappointed when it's not. His teachers have told me what a nice, well behaved kid he is on more than one occasion. I'm so incredibly proud of him-- and more than a little relieved.

 

He woke up this school morning and the first words out of his mouth were: "I get to be line leader today!" This boy loves him some school. 

Macey's One Year Photoshoot

As usual, photography is by my talented sister, Lauren. We ventured out to a large local garden for this shoot. Convincing a very active one year old to stand still even for a few seconds for a picture is not the easiest task in the world, but I'm so pleased with the results. Lauren doesn't disappoint! With no further ado, here are Miss Macey Jean's one year photos:

Macey's big day (in pictures)

This past Saturday, we celebrated Macey's first birthday with a Minnie Mouse themed party. In the months leading up to her first birthday, I'll admit I developed a slight obsession with pinning Minnie Mouse birthday party theme ideas on Pinterest. The more I pinned, the more elaborate (read: expensive) the party became. And then one day I looked at my "First Birthday Party" board on Pinterest and felt annoyed with myself. Her party wasn't about putting on a show or having the cutest decorations; it was about surrounding Macey with the people who love her the most and making sure she had a special day. I think we succeeded on both counts.

Okay, so I did use a few Pinterest ideas. Artwork courtesy of my mom, whose artistic abilities I did not inherit.

 The smash cake, also courtesy of my mom. I didn't inherit her culinary skills either.

 Minnie Mouse cupcakes!

 The BFFs. Macey's birthday party day was also VA Tech's opening game day, hence the shirts.

 She was just a tad excited about the balloons.

My beautiful birthday girl.

 

Party girl.

 

Opening presents.

This hippo ball popper was a hit with both kids.

Her big brother is HILARIOUS.

Yum- smash cake!

 

 ...and the aftermath.

Finally, we wanted to put together a slideshow of Macey's first year just as we did for Camden on his first birthday. A huge thank you to my brother, Chris, who helped put the show together for me. You can click HERE to watch it.

My little girl is one! No longer a baby, but a toddler. What a blessing this past year has been, and what a blessing she is in all of our lives.

We survived!

I'm sitting here in a silent house while Macey takes her morning nap and Camden is at preschool. I keep looking over my shoulder, expecting him to walk in the room any minute and ask me what's taking me so long (his favorite question whenever I'm blogging or trying to work on a paper for school while Macey naps). And I have to say: I'm pleasantly surprised by how the morning went.

As soon as I woke up this morning, the butterflies started flying madly through my stomach. You would've thought it was my first day of school. Camden, on the other hand, woke up completely calm and happy, even though he remembered right away that today was a school day. His morning routine was unchanged: he had his OJ and watched his favorite show on Nickelodeon. Then he moved to the breakfast table for a bowl of cereal, all the while chatting away without a care in the world. I think I put on an Oscar-worthy performance this morning, fluttering around the kitchen cheerfully, as if today was just like any other day. But it was important for me to maintain my composure: I didn't want him to have even the tiniest sense that I was feeling anxious about leaving him at school.

We picked up my sister and nephew and hit the road shortly after breakfast. The boys joked and laughed in the back seat the whole way there and smiled happily for pictures. Maybe this isn't going to be so bad, I thought hopefully to myself as we made our way to their classroom. And it wasn't so bad: Camden and Will hung up their book bags outside of their classroom door, put their lunch boxes away dutifully, and then walked into their classroom and smiled at their teachers.

Then, it was time for us to say goodbye. Their teachers had made it very clear that we were not to linger on the first day, even if they got teary. That might sound a bit harsh, but these are very experienced, and more importantly, very loving, grandmotherly type teachers who were confident they could calm any crying child down more quickly if the mom wasn't hanging around. I trusted that, and prepared myself to follow their plan. So, Lauren and I said our goodbyes with a quick hug, and Camden and Will both froze like a deer in the headlights when they realized we were actually leaving them there alone in a classroom full of strangers. I could see the anxiety in Camden's eyes and knew the tears weren't far off, so I smiled my biggest smile, told him I'd see him soon, and rushed out. Lauren and I lingered in the hallway for a few minutes afterwards, peeking in and hoping for the best. And you know what? It was fine. Neither Camden or Will cried; one of their teachers distracted them as soon as we left and they were sitting together, playing happily with some blocks. I breathed the deepest sigh of relief and felt like a gigantic weight had been lifted from my shoulders as we talked to the car.

Now I'm counting down the minutes until I can pick him up and hear all about his day!

And preschool begins.

My sweet Camden Miller,

Tomorrow, you start preschool. And tonight, I sit here feeling so many different things: happy, apprehensive, nostalgic-- you name it, I've probably felt it at some point while thinking about your big day tomorrow. By the time you're old enough to read this letter, you'll probably roll your eyes and think Geez, Mom. It was just preschool! But, oh- it's so much more than that.

Tomorrow is the beginning. It's the beginning of you leading an independent life. It's the beginning of your world not revolving around your daddy, your sister, and me. It's the start of you having friends whom I've never met and whose names I don't recognize. For the first time, I'll have to ask you how your day was because I wasn't right there to witness it firsthand. It's the beginning of me having to let go and trust that you can--and you will-- be okay without me there to hold your hand.

When I think about dropping you off at your classroom door and turning around to head home without you, my mind drifts back to all of the years that have passed by so quickly. I remember that final push, your daddy yelling, "He has blonde hair!", and the most wonderful cry in the world that followed. I remember all of the afternoons when you slept peacefully on my chest, your tiny body curled up against mine. I remember how you were my sidekick for those first couple of years of your life; your stranger anxiety was severe and you wanted no one but your mommy most of the time. You were late to find your voice and we worried endlessly about your lack of speech, but I remember so well when you finally did find your words-- at 2 years old-- just how proud I was of you and how thankful I was to hear your sweet voice chattering away. I remember finding out I was pregnant with your sister and all of the nights you put your little hand on my belly, just waiting to feel her kick. And I will never forget your shy smile the day you met your sister in that hospital room. You couldn't get enough of her during those early days. You always wanted to hold her and kiss her; you were (and are) such a wonderful big brother.

I know that a large part of my fear in letting you go tomorrow is that I won't be around to protect you. You're a sensitive soul, just like your mom, and I never want to see you hurting. If it were up to me, I'd keep you in a little bubble of happiness for your entire life so that you'd never have to know pain, heartbreak, loss, disappointment, hurt feelings-- any of that not-so-fun stuff. But I know that experiencing those things is an inevitable part of growing up and I can't shelter you forever. What I can do, though, is promise you this: I will always, always be here for you and I will always, always be your biggest fan.

It's time for preschool, buddy. You can do this. We can do this.

I love you,
Mommy

(All pictures are from Camden's 'Meet the Teachers' day at school last week)

 



 On the playground...

 Camden and his cousin Will with their teachers.