Dear Camden, {almost} 9.5 years old

Dear Camden,

My 9-year-old boy...seriously, is that even possible? I started this blog years ago when I was struggling with infertility and desperately wanted to be a mom. And then- voila (okay, not exactly voila; more like months of tears, hormones, and injectable medications)- along you came! Now you are a boy-- not a baby, not a toddler, not a preschooler, not even a little boy-- but a boy. And oh, how I love the boy you've become.

You are so like me in so many ways. You're a little anxious, slow to warm up around new people, and you worry about things more than you should. Yet you're also so like your dad; you've got the same long, lanky legs; the same ability to eat whatever you want and not gain an ounce; and the same obsession with sports-- particularly baseball and hockey. And then, in many ways, you're just you. You make friends easily. You're an excellent student. You can entertain yourself for hours just by being outside, lost in your imaginary world of sports tournaments. You hate kisses, but you freely give hugs. You're a gifted, creative writer; maybe one day, Cheeseburger the Cop will be on bookstore shelves.

My sweet Camden Miller, I love you more than I could ever adequately express in simple words. I hope you always know how special you are-- not simply because you were our much anticipated first child, but because you're so uniquely you.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Macey (6.5 years old)

Dear Macey,

It's been a while since I've written here-- nearly 2 years to be exact-- and you've done a lot of growing up in that time. Currently, you're a first grader, although I think I'll always have my doubts about whether sending you to kindergarten at age 4 was the right decision. I think that's just my nature, though: to doubt, to worry, to second guess. Luckily, you did not inherit those traits from me. You are the epitome of a carefree spirit. You smile and it lights up your entire face (I noticed that when you were still an infant, by the way). People always comment on your happy-go-lucky demeanor and your infectious smile. Truly, when you smile at people, they can't help but to smile back.

You're a social girl; we can rarely walk down the hallway at school without hearing at least one, "Hi, Macey!" However, you do have one very best friend. You did in preschool too. You're kind to everyone, but you prefer one bestie. I was that way, too. Your best friend this year is Eliza. You're attached at the hip. I watch out of my classroom window sometimes as you walk around the playground with Eliza, heads leaned together in deep discussion. Oh, to know what you're talking about. Probably Tic Tac Toy-- a YouTube channel that is your current obsession.

What else is there to know about you at this age? Your age, by the way, is currently ALMOST six-and-a-half. You take gymnastics once a week. You read fluently, though reading isn't your favorite thing to do (I'm hoping that changes!). You have played a few seasons of soccer and seem to really enjoy it. You love your family and shower us with affection. You're strong willed, which I sometimes have to remind myself is actually a good characteristic. You stand up for yourself and for others too. You're confident, which is something I deeply admire about you.

I tell you frequently that you're such a joy and I mean every word of that. You bring so much laughter (yes, the tweak is currently still around) and happiness into our lives. I can't wait to see who you become, but I am enjoying every minute of who you are right now.