While growing up, I was always very close to my maternal grandmother's sister, Jean. Many of my earliest memories include Jean in some way. I used to love visiting her house and she was always a regular at our house as well. When my family moved away from Jean when I was in the second grade, I started writing letters to her. Over the years, she became my favorite pen pal. She wrote to me, asking about my teachers, my middle school crushes, and my soccer team. Without fail, if I sent a letter to Jean, I'd always have a return letter waiting in my mailbox within a week, in that same familiar cursive writing.
Throughout our pen pal years, Jean was battling cancer. It started in her ovaries, and then metastasized. There were times I could tell she was really unwell; her letters were sometimes written in shaky handwriting as she explained to me all about her latest chemotherapy treatment. Still, the letters always had the same upbeat tone. Her cancer went into remission for a while before it returned and ultimately took her life in 1995.
Jean died when I was in the 9th grade- long before I was seriously thinking about having kids. But I started saying back then that, if I had a daughter one day, her middle name would be Jean. And over the past decade, I have changed my mind about a million other things that I decided in high school, but I have never changed my mind about that. In fact, I'm pretty sure I told Matt our future daughter's middle name while we were dating. It's just always been something I am certain about.
Today I saw my baby's heartbeat for the first time. There really are no words to describe a moment like that; it's bigger than anything I could try to write. But as I was lying there on the table, mesmerized by that tiny flutter on the screen, Matt brought me back to reality.
He looked up at the doctor performing the ultrasound and asked, "So, when is our due date?"
She took some measurements and thought for a minute before saying, "November 19th."
Jean passed away on November 19th, 1995.
God works in amazing ways.
10 comments:
This made me cry for so many reasons. Because I miss Jean. Because I know how especially close you two were. Because I know you've wanted to name a child of yours after her for years. Because I'm still overcome with the confirmation that my baby sister has a baby growing inside of her. And because your due date is absolutely amazing (there really is no better word).
This baby is meant to be.
Aaaaand, crying again.
P.S. Love the new background. :)
Kerri - I am so happy for you guys! I also wanted to say that your post made me tear up (and for once I can say it was definitely not the meds since I am not on any!!!). It is so amazing how God works!
Carli
Kerri, that is so beautiful. God does work in myseterious ways. It is meant to be.
Melissa P.
Lauren- Matt has taken to calling this baby "Baby Monkey". Long story. But, that's the reason for the new background. :)
I know you guys are big monkey fans. That sounds weird... :)
I actually almost commented that while most people refer to their growing baby as their little bean or peanut, that yours would probably be little monkey. Guess I was right!
What a wonderful connection to the dates. Your title is so perfect for this post- "amazing," and it reminds me once again that God already has a plan laid out for us, even if we do not know what it is yet. Does this mean you have an inkling it might be a girl? ;)But hey- you could even use "Jean" for a boy, if that's the case.
Sweet new background! Baby Monkey- that is really cute.
I'm so amazed at how everything is working out so perfectly for you, right down to the due date. Amazing is a good word right now.
God is good.
What a beautiful story. Praying for you and Baby Monkey!!
Oh my gosh Kerri - that is amazing! Thank you for sharing that story. I agree that God really does work in amazing ways. This is no coincidence!
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