Coming out of the (co-sleeping) closet

The thing I've noticed about moms that I never knew before having a baby is that there seems to be this battle between co-sleeping & breastfeeding mommas and formula feeding & crib-sleeping mommas. Any mom who frequents one of the many mommy message boards out there has undoubtedly seen the battle firsthand. A mom will create a post, and her auto signature at the end of her post will say, "Julie, EBF/co-sleeping/BBW/AP momma". And then she'll get a response from Tiffany, whose auto-signature goes something like this: "Tiffany #1 FF, CS, Vacc. Momma!"

Oh, the acronyms! Oh, the ridiculousness!

(For those who don't frequent mommy boards, Julie exclusively breastfeeds, co-sleeps, is pro-babywearing & advocates Attachment Parenting. Tiffany formula feeds her child, her child sleeps in a crib, and she advocates vaccinations. Oh, and Julie & Tiffany? They're totally made up. But there are a million mommies just like them on any given board.)

Here's the deal: I co-sleep. I don't do this because I think Camden needs to be with me every single second of every day (and night) or he'll grow up feeling unloved and insecure. During the day, he's quite an independent little guy. I co-sleep at night because it's easier for us. It's really that simple.

One of the biggest lessons I'm (still) learning as a parent is that you have to do what works for your family. It doesn't matter what's going on at Sally and Bill's house next door. It doesn't matter what your cousin's best friend's sister-in-law does with her child. What matters is that your child is happy & healthy, and your parenting style works for your family.

I'll be honest: I tried crib sleeping. Oh, did I ever try. There were a couple of weeks worth of sleepless nights (for both Camden and me) back when I was doing sleep training. And while his sleep training worked remarkably well to extend his catnaps and get him on a routine during the day, it did nothing for his multiple night wakings. I was exhausted, discouraged, frustrated, and just burned out. And so one night, I put him back in bed with us and that's where he's stayed. Yes, he still wakes up during the night, but he's able to fall back asleep more quickly & easily with me right there. That, in turn, means I'm able to fall back asleep more quickly & easily too. An added bonus is that Matt doesn't mind the extra company in bed.

Co-sleeping isn't for everyone. There are nights when I'm sandwiched between Matt and Camden and all I want to do is stretch out my arms and legs and just have my own space! There are nights when I wince as a tiny foot jabs me in the ribs. But then there are the mornings when I wake up to Camden's sweet smile and I realize how much I love having another bed-mate.

The thing is, these days won't last long (cue Darius Rucker, please). As with most issues in child-rearing, this is just a phase. What's working for us now might not work next month or even next week. Flexibility is key. Instinct is also key.

Oh, and for the record? If I was pretentious enough to have an auto-signature summing up my parenting style (don't worry, I'm not), it would read something like this:

Kerri-
I breastfeed because it's cheaper & convenient. I co-sleep so Camden and I are both well-rested. I vaccinate on schedule because, well, I trust my pediatrician. And I only babywear when I'm out somewhere because have you tried lugging a 15 pound little boy around the house all day? No thanks! Also, I hate acronyms. That is all.