I haven't nursed Camden in almost 2 weeks. At all. I mentioned a while back that I had night-weaned him, but I was still nursing him once in the late afternoon. Honestly, I was clinging to that feeding more for my sake than for his. I was feeling very sentimental about no longer nursing. Then one afternoon, we were busy and just skipped nursing altogether. Same thing the next day. And before I knew it, it was over. We settled into a new routine that didn't include nursing.
Camden handled it well. It didn't seem like he even thought about it anymore. Then came today.
I stepped out of the shower to see Camden staring at me. Staring, hard. His eyes were glued to my chest and he had a thoughtful expression on his face. I knew what was happening-- he was having a Nursing Flashback. I got dressed quickly and as I was putting on my makeup, Camden started whining. I kneeled down next to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? What can I get you?"
He got a huge grin on his face and pointed, through my shirt, to my chest.
(No, I didn't allow him to partake in the Boobie Bar. He got over it quickly. Thank goodness for busy toddlers who are easily distracted.)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
And here we go again (Sleep Training, Day 1)
(This was written a few days ago. We are no longer on Day 1.)
Warning: if you are anti sleep training or are just plain tired of hearing me talk about sleep and sleep training (and I totally don't blame you if that's the case!), click away now.
I've mentioned in some of my previous posts that Camden is now night weaned. I was fervently hoping and praying that night weaning him was going to be the cure for his choppy, interrupted sleep at night. That would mean that we could continue co-sleeping, everyone would get lots of rest, and we'd all be happier for it.
Unfortunately, for us, weaning wasn't the answer. Camden still woke up at least 2 or 3 times a night (often more than that). Most of the time, he only needed to be briefly resettled, but occasionally, he'd wake up completely and stay up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. I also noticed that when he woke up at night, he'd let out really frustrated whines and cries and thrash around in frustration. I knew very well what the problem was, though I hated to admit it: he had absolutely no idea how to soothe himself back to sleep. He didn't want to be awake. He didn't want to depend on me to get back to sleep every single time he woke. But he didn't know what else to do because I'd never given him the opportunity to learn. I realized that I was doing a disservice to my son by not giving him a vital life skill: learning to self-soothe at night.
I knew that having Camden "cry it out" alone in a room was not an option for me. So, I decided to revisit the Sleep Lady Shuffle that we had some moderate success with many months ago but ended up quitting in exhaustion one night. Now, Camden has not been in his crib to sleep for months. I knew it was going to be a battle. So, for a week prior to beginning sleep training, I slept upstairs in his nursery with him on the floor. I wanted him to get used to his room. Then, each day, we'd take 20 or 30 minutes to play in his crib. I felt satisfied that the crib was no longer an unfamiliar place to him, but I still knew it was going to be brutal to get him to sleep in there alone when he's so accustomed to snuggling next to a warm body all night long.
Begin Night One. Camden was in his crib by 8pm. I sat next to his crib in a rocking chair, holding a big glass of wine. He cried off and on for 45 minutes and then fell asleep while he was calm and not crying. I felt so encouraged! He didn't cry himself to sleep! It "only" took 45 minutes. I ran downstairs to tell Matt about my success.
I shouldn't have been so cocky.
Fast forward 30 minutes. A wailing, distraught Camden woke up. He was screaming bloody murder (WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS CAGE?!! WHERE ARE MOMMY AND DADDY?! GET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND!!!!!!!!!).
I sat calmly next to his crib. I rubbed his back. I sang to him. I spoke to him in my most reassuring voice. He was not having it. His face was tear-streaked and his nose was gushing. He was pointing to the bedroom door and saying "Byebyebye" and then pointing to me and saying "Mama!" It was all I could do not to start crying and scoop him out of that crib. I was thisclose to cracking. And I knew it, so I left the room briefly to call for reinforcements.
I found Matt and said to him simply, "I can't do this. You need to take over."
This is the first time that Matt's been actively involved in any of my sleep training efforts (not his fault; I'm just a control freak). But I knew I needed help and I welcomed the reprieve from my frantic, hysterical baby. Matt was only in the nursery for 10 minutes or so before there was silence. I was so sure that he had caved and was rocking Camden to sleep. But a few minutes later, he came downstairs and gave me a thumbs-up sign. Houston, we had a sleeping toddler.
At this point, Matt banished me to our bedroom to sleep (which would've been lovely if I wasn't a nervous basketcase and could actually fall asleep) and took over the rest of the night.
The night wasn't perfect but we didn't expect it to be. Night One never is. But Camden responds to his daddy in a very different way than he responds to me when sleep training. He still cries, but it's not the same level of intensity as when I'm in the room with him. And he settles down more quickly. Plus, Matt's a more level-headed and less emotional person than I am, so it makes sense that he takes the lead this time. He's less likely to give in. Why did I not think of this before?
Sleep Training, I hate you so much. But I feel like this time, we're going to get it right. This time, it will work.
Warning: if you are anti sleep training or are just plain tired of hearing me talk about sleep and sleep training (and I totally don't blame you if that's the case!), click away now.
I've mentioned in some of my previous posts that Camden is now night weaned. I was fervently hoping and praying that night weaning him was going to be the cure for his choppy, interrupted sleep at night. That would mean that we could continue co-sleeping, everyone would get lots of rest, and we'd all be happier for it.
Unfortunately, for us, weaning wasn't the answer. Camden still woke up at least 2 or 3 times a night (often more than that). Most of the time, he only needed to be briefly resettled, but occasionally, he'd wake up completely and stay up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. I also noticed that when he woke up at night, he'd let out really frustrated whines and cries and thrash around in frustration. I knew very well what the problem was, though I hated to admit it: he had absolutely no idea how to soothe himself back to sleep. He didn't want to be awake. He didn't want to depend on me to get back to sleep every single time he woke. But he didn't know what else to do because I'd never given him the opportunity to learn. I realized that I was doing a disservice to my son by not giving him a vital life skill: learning to self-soothe at night.
I knew that having Camden "cry it out" alone in a room was not an option for me. So, I decided to revisit the Sleep Lady Shuffle that we had some moderate success with many months ago but ended up quitting in exhaustion one night. Now, Camden has not been in his crib to sleep for months. I knew it was going to be a battle. So, for a week prior to beginning sleep training, I slept upstairs in his nursery with him on the floor. I wanted him to get used to his room. Then, each day, we'd take 20 or 30 minutes to play in his crib. I felt satisfied that the crib was no longer an unfamiliar place to him, but I still knew it was going to be brutal to get him to sleep in there alone when he's so accustomed to snuggling next to a warm body all night long.
Begin Night One. Camden was in his crib by 8pm. I sat next to his crib in a rocking chair, holding a big glass of wine. He cried off and on for 45 minutes and then fell asleep while he was calm and not crying. I felt so encouraged! He didn't cry himself to sleep! It "only" took 45 minutes. I ran downstairs to tell Matt about my success.
I shouldn't have been so cocky.
Fast forward 30 minutes. A wailing, distraught Camden woke up. He was screaming bloody murder (WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS CAGE?!! WHERE ARE MOMMY AND DADDY?! GET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND!!!!!!!!!).
I sat calmly next to his crib. I rubbed his back. I sang to him. I spoke to him in my most reassuring voice. He was not having it. His face was tear-streaked and his nose was gushing. He was pointing to the bedroom door and saying "Byebyebye" and then pointing to me and saying "Mama!" It was all I could do not to start crying and scoop him out of that crib. I was thisclose to cracking. And I knew it, so I left the room briefly to call for reinforcements.
I found Matt and said to him simply, "I can't do this. You need to take over."
This is the first time that Matt's been actively involved in any of my sleep training efforts (not his fault; I'm just a control freak). But I knew I needed help and I welcomed the reprieve from my frantic, hysterical baby. Matt was only in the nursery for 10 minutes or so before there was silence. I was so sure that he had caved and was rocking Camden to sleep. But a few minutes later, he came downstairs and gave me a thumbs-up sign. Houston, we had a sleeping toddler.
At this point, Matt banished me to our bedroom to sleep (which would've been lovely if I wasn't a nervous basketcase and could actually fall asleep) and took over the rest of the night.
The night wasn't perfect but we didn't expect it to be. Night One never is. But Camden responds to his daddy in a very different way than he responds to me when sleep training. He still cries, but it's not the same level of intensity as when I'm in the room with him. And he settles down more quickly. Plus, Matt's a more level-headed and less emotional person than I am, so it makes sense that he takes the lead this time. He's less likely to give in. Why did I not think of this before?
Sleep Training, I hate you so much. But I feel like this time, we're going to get it right. This time, it will work.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Dear Camden (14 month edition)
My sweet boy,
You are 14 months old! You're so much more toddler than baby now. And even though it's a little bittersweet to watch you grow up so quickly, I absolutely adore having a toddler. You are so fun, so loving, so sweet, and so smart. It seems like you learn a new skill to impress your Daddy and me with every day.
At 14 months, you:
- Are taking 1 nap a day, after lunch. Length varies, but it averages about 2 hours.
- Point at absolutely everything. I love that you can show us your world now. You point to something that interests you, then look at Daddy and me and start chattering.
- Regularly say "bye bye" & "mama".
- LOVE to go "bye bye"-- doesn't matter where. As soon as I mention going bye bye in the car, you start looking for your shoes excitedly.
- Dance and clap throughout the day, especially when Mommy or Daddy sings, or when the iPad commerical comes on TV.
- Adore playing outside. We don't get out too often now that it's so cold, but it makes you so happy on the days that we do get to spend some time outdoors.
- Love to show us where your bellybutton is.
- Have 4 teeth: 2 on the top, 2 on the bottom.
- Are so loving. You regularly come up to me to give me a big open-mouthed kiss (combined with some head-butts).
- Are an eater! I never thought I'd say those words about you, but you LOVE to eat now that you're exclusively eating table food. Your favorites? Chicken nuggets, pizza, fish sticks, avocados, pudding, pasta, & yogurt.
- Have been introduced to peanut butter. You're not crazy about PB&J but you love peanut butter crackers.
- Are now enjoying Jungle Junction on Playhouse Disney. The theme song makes you dance.
- Still love bath time.
- Love to read and have started sitting quietly and flipping through books by yourself.
- Are afraid of dogs. Not all dogs, but certain ones.
- Love your pets...and they love you right back (most of the time).
- Love to "help" me clean and will even imitate me wiping down the table when you're handed a napkin.
- Love to play "milk truck". You hand your milk truck to Daddy or me (or any willing person) and run around in circles laughing while we "chase" you with it. If we stop before you're done playing, you give us a look, walk over, pick up the milk truck and hand it right back to us.
- Are obsessed with the dishwasher. The second you hear it open, you come sprinting into the kitchen.
- Still have pretty bad stranger anxiety.
- Are so precious to us & so very, very loved.
I'm so thankful to be your mom.
Love,
Mommy
Friday, January 21, 2011
Little Drummer Boy's Birthmark
Yesterday, I was working on some homework while Camden played quietly with his toys. After a few minutes, I heard a small whine. Then the whine got a little louder, a little more frustrated. Finally, I heard a small voice say, "Ma?" I got up to investigate what the trouble could be. And this is what I found:
Instead of helping him out of his stuck-in-drum predicament, I ran to get the camera, like any good mother would do. Thankfully, he was a good sport about it.
On another note, take a look at his left hand. We took him to the dermatologist for his fifth laser treatment (for birthmark removal) a few days ago. It never gets any easier, I swear. Well, now that he's older, he is offered a ring pop after each zapping session, which is a small consolation but seems to make Camden happy. Anyway, I was holding out hope that the doctor would take one look at his hand and declare, "Success! This will be his last treatment. You'll never have to see my face or this building again. Now, take as many ring pops as you'd like and be gone."
Alas, that didn't happen. Instead, Dr. B concluded that Camden would likely need 4-5 more treatments. That doesn't sound THAT bad, I'll concede, but when his appointments only occur every 2 or 3 months-- well, that means he'll still be getting zapped up until his 2nd birthday. And that just seems so far away right now.
When we were leaving the office, Dr. B showed us a Christmas card that one of his 5 year old patients had made for him. On the front, scrawled in a child's sloppy handwriting, it said "Merry Chismas". On the inside, it read, "Will you please quit it."
Pretty sure that's what Camden's Christmas card to Dr. B would read too.
Instead of helping him out of his stuck-in-drum predicament, I ran to get the camera, like any good mother would do. Thankfully, he was a good sport about it.
On another note, take a look at his left hand. We took him to the dermatologist for his fifth laser treatment (for birthmark removal) a few days ago. It never gets any easier, I swear. Well, now that he's older, he is offered a ring pop after each zapping session, which is a small consolation but seems to make Camden happy. Anyway, I was holding out hope that the doctor would take one look at his hand and declare, "Success! This will be his last treatment. You'll never have to see my face or this building again. Now, take as many ring pops as you'd like and be gone."
Alas, that didn't happen. Instead, Dr. B concluded that Camden would likely need 4-5 more treatments. That doesn't sound THAT bad, I'll concede, but when his appointments only occur every 2 or 3 months-- well, that means he'll still be getting zapped up until his 2nd birthday. And that just seems so far away right now.
When we were leaving the office, Dr. B showed us a Christmas card that one of his 5 year old patients had made for him. On the front, scrawled in a child's sloppy handwriting, it said "Merry Chismas". On the inside, it read, "Will you please quit it."
Pretty sure that's what Camden's Christmas card to Dr. B would read too.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Make New Friends, But Keep the Old...
Anyone else remember that Girl Scout song? I think the second line went something like "One is silver, the other's gold."
Old friends really are the best friends.
After all, they knew you when. When you had braces. When you hairsprayed your bangs until they were so stiff that tornadic winds wouldn't make them budge. When you collected troll dolls and listened to NKOTB. When you wore pinch-rolled jeans, slap bracelets, and layered socks. When you were the epitome of awkward but were blissfully unaware.
This weekend, one of my oldest & best friends (Danielle) came to visit. I've known her since she was in kindergarten & I was in second grade. Even though she claims I was sometimes mean to her back then (I mean, I was 2 grades older and WAY too cool to hang out with someone so young, what can I say?!), she still makes the 4 hour trip down south twice a year. And I love her for that.
Danielle also received the Camden Stamp Of Approval, which is no easy feat. This kid chooses his inner circle very selectively. Initially there were many side-eye glances & long stares, but he ultimately warmed up to her and let her tickle him & play with his toys. He rarely let us out of his sight all weekend. When Danielle & I were going to make a Starbucks run (leaving Camden home with Daddy), he frantically grabbed his shoes, ran them over to me, and yelled "Bye Bye!" He wasn't about to let Mommy & his New Friend go on a coffee date without him!
All in all, it was a fantastic weekend filled with long talks, brownie making, wine drinking, and movie watching. And, thankfully, no scrunchies or Hypercolor shirts.
Old friends really are the best friends.
After all, they knew you when. When you had braces. When you hairsprayed your bangs until they were so stiff that tornadic winds wouldn't make them budge. When you collected troll dolls and listened to NKOTB. When you wore pinch-rolled jeans, slap bracelets, and layered socks. When you were the epitome of awkward but were blissfully unaware.
This weekend, one of my oldest & best friends (Danielle) came to visit. I've known her since she was in kindergarten & I was in second grade. Even though she claims I was sometimes mean to her back then (I mean, I was 2 grades older and WAY too cool to hang out with someone so young, what can I say?!), she still makes the 4 hour trip down south twice a year. And I love her for that.
Danielle also received the Camden Stamp Of Approval, which is no easy feat. This kid chooses his inner circle very selectively. Initially there were many side-eye glances & long stares, but he ultimately warmed up to her and let her tickle him & play with his toys. He rarely let us out of his sight all weekend. When Danielle & I were going to make a Starbucks run (leaving Camden home with Daddy), he frantically grabbed his shoes, ran them over to me, and yelled "Bye Bye!" He wasn't about to let Mommy & his New Friend go on a coffee date without him!
All in all, it was a fantastic weekend filled with long talks, brownie making, wine drinking, and movie watching. And, thankfully, no scrunchies or Hypercolor shirts.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Hell has frozen over.
Ladies and Gentleman, it's official. I have a night weaned baby.
I know, I know. Most of you with children around Camden's age (or, let's face it, several months younger than Camden) night weaned them a long time ago. But I'd also venture to guess that many of you aren't co-sleepers. And night weaning a co-sleeping baby? Let's just say it's challenging. I mean, how do you explain to a 13 month old that the buffet is closed even though he can still smell the aroma wafting out the window all night long? It's not an easy message to convey, that's for sure.
The night I cut out his very last overnight nursing session was brutal. And that might be an understatement. We were up from 11:30pm-3am. There were tears. And rocking. And some singing. Then there were more tears. And there was also a little voice in my head saying Just give him a boob. Then you can both get some sleep. Do it. You can night wean him later. But I ignored that pesky little voice & stuck to my guns. Victory!
So, I now have a night weaned baby who sleeps through the night-- 12 hours straight!
Okay, I'm totally lying. Sorry, other breastfeeding & co-sleeping moms out there who might've gotten their hopes up for a second.
He's still waking up a few times during the night. But, most nights, he settles back down quickly & easily with minimal intervention. And keep in mind that this is the same child who, 4 months ago, was nursing every 2 hours at night. All night long. I'd say we're making progress, yes?
And just because I adore this post from another blogger (who you should totally follow if you don't already), I'm going to link to it. It's the best post I've read about co-sleeping in a long time. You're welcome.
I know, I know. Most of you with children around Camden's age (or, let's face it, several months younger than Camden) night weaned them a long time ago. But I'd also venture to guess that many of you aren't co-sleepers. And night weaning a co-sleeping baby? Let's just say it's challenging. I mean, how do you explain to a 13 month old that the buffet is closed even though he can still smell the aroma wafting out the window all night long? It's not an easy message to convey, that's for sure.
The night I cut out his very last overnight nursing session was brutal. And that might be an understatement. We were up from 11:30pm-3am. There were tears. And rocking. And some singing. Then there were more tears. And there was also a little voice in my head saying Just give him a boob. Then you can both get some sleep. Do it. You can night wean him later. But I ignored that pesky little voice & stuck to my guns. Victory!
So, I now have a night weaned baby who sleeps through the night-- 12 hours straight!
Okay, I'm totally lying. Sorry, other breastfeeding & co-sleeping moms out there who might've gotten their hopes up for a second.
He's still waking up a few times during the night. But, most nights, he settles back down quickly & easily with minimal intervention. And keep in mind that this is the same child who, 4 months ago, was nursing every 2 hours at night. All night long. I'd say we're making progress, yes?
And just because I adore this post from another blogger (who you should totally follow if you don't already), I'm going to link to it. It's the best post I've read about co-sleeping in a long time. You're welcome.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The State of the Weaning.
I'll be honest. I have dreaded weaning for months and months now. It's no secret that my child was a tiny bit attached to the boobie. And by "a tiny bit attached", I mean that he nursed every 4 hours during the day and every 2 hours at night. I'm also pretty sure that when he wasn't nursing at night, he was having dreams of dancing boobies. So, I was certain that weaning was going to be a nightmare of gigantic proportions.
I was also a little worried about how I'd handle it emotionally. I remembered a few years back, when my sister was weaning one of my nephews, she was super sentimental about breastfeeding coming to an end. And I also remember nodding sympathetically while thinking to myself, What's the big deal? He's not a baby anymore. Give him a sippy cup.
But then I became a breastfeeding momma myself & I understood her sadness a few years ago. So, as Time to Wean approached, I alternated between being worried about how Camden would handle giving up his most favorite possessions, feeling sappy & emotional about this special time coming to an end, and--I'll admit it-- a little bit excited about my breasts being my own again.
Now, a month and a week since we started the weaning process, I'm happy to say we are down to 2 feedings in 24 hours. Camden has handled it like a champ, which makes me confident that he was ready. And a major plus-- he loves cow's milk. He can't get enough of the stuff.
I don't know if this is related to weaning or age (or, most likely, both), but I've found that his appetite and interest in table foods has increased ten-fold. We no longer feed him any baby food at all. He looks forward to each meal and makes this known by enthusiastically smacking his lips anytime I set foot in the kitchen. He has also taken to raiding the pantry, bringing me a selection of his choice, & smacking his lips in request.
And you know what else? I haven't weighed him since his 1 year appointment. I don't obsess over every bite he takes (or doesn't take) anymore. I'm trying out this new thing called Not Worrying About What I Can't Control. I highly recommend it.
I was also a little worried about how I'd handle it emotionally. I remembered a few years back, when my sister was weaning one of my nephews, she was super sentimental about breastfeeding coming to an end. And I also remember nodding sympathetically while thinking to myself, What's the big deal? He's not a baby anymore. Give him a sippy cup.
But then I became a breastfeeding momma myself & I understood her sadness a few years ago. So, as Time to Wean approached, I alternated between being worried about how Camden would handle giving up his most favorite possessions, feeling sappy & emotional about this special time coming to an end, and--I'll admit it-- a little bit excited about my breasts being my own again.
Now, a month and a week since we started the weaning process, I'm happy to say we are down to 2 feedings in 24 hours. Camden has handled it like a champ, which makes me confident that he was ready. And a major plus-- he loves cow's milk. He can't get enough of the stuff.
I don't know if this is related to weaning or age (or, most likely, both), but I've found that his appetite and interest in table foods has increased ten-fold. We no longer feed him any baby food at all. He looks forward to each meal and makes this known by enthusiastically smacking his lips anytime I set foot in the kitchen. He has also taken to raiding the pantry, bringing me a selection of his choice, & smacking his lips in request.
And you know what else? I haven't weighed him since his 1 year appointment. I don't obsess over every bite he takes (or doesn't take) anymore. I'm trying out this new thing called Not Worrying About What I Can't Control. I highly recommend it.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Camden got his hair did!
Matt has long referred to Camden's hairstyle as a "sullet" (sideways mullet). Still, the thought of taking scissors to his tiny blonde head was always an emotional subject for me. It seemed like yet another step away from babyhood and into Toddler-Ville. In the past few weeks, though, his hair started to hang down over his ears. And I realized I was able to make a tiny ponytail on the back of his head. It was time.
Since Camden's stranger anxiety is off the charts, the thought of taking him to sit with a stranger wielding scissors just wasn't appealing. At all. But my cosmetology skills are non-existent and Matt's are limited to shaving his own head. Then, when discussing our dilemma with my mom on Christmas day, she volunteered to play the role of barber.
It all started out innocently enough. Camden was enjoying the novelty of sitting on the kitchen table & wasn't bothered in the least that his Nan was playing with his hair.
This is the life! Getting my hair styled while enjoying some snacks.
And then it happened. Nan sprayed the back of Camden's head with a water bottle. I don't know if it was the sound of the water bottle or the sudden spray of water (or both), but Camden lost it. LOST.IT. Enter: complete and total meltdown.
I HATE HAIRCUTS!!! I NEVER WANT ANOTHER ONE EVAH!!!!!
But he got over it quickly. And check out this handsome new 'do!
Since Camden's stranger anxiety is off the charts, the thought of taking him to sit with a stranger wielding scissors just wasn't appealing. At all. But my cosmetology skills are non-existent and Matt's are limited to shaving his own head. Then, when discussing our dilemma with my mom on Christmas day, she volunteered to play the role of barber.
It all started out innocently enough. Camden was enjoying the novelty of sitting on the kitchen table & wasn't bothered in the least that his Nan was playing with his hair.
This is the life! Getting my hair styled while enjoying some snacks.
And then it happened. Nan sprayed the back of Camden's head with a water bottle. I don't know if it was the sound of the water bottle or the sudden spray of water (or both), but Camden lost it. LOST.IT. Enter: complete and total meltdown.
I HATE HAIRCUTS!!! I NEVER WANT ANOTHER ONE EVAH!!!!!
But he got over it quickly. And check out this handsome new 'do!
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