And here we go again (Sleep Training, Day 1)

(This was written a few days ago. We are no longer on Day 1.)

Warning: if you are anti sleep training or are just plain tired of hearing me talk about sleep and sleep training (and I totally don't blame you if that's the case!), click away now.

I've mentioned in some of my previous posts that Camden is now night weaned. I was fervently hoping and praying that night weaning him was going to be the cure for his choppy, interrupted sleep at night. That would mean that we could continue co-sleeping, everyone would get lots of rest, and we'd all be happier for it.

Unfortunately, for us, weaning wasn't the answer. Camden still woke up at least 2 or 3 times a night (often more than that). Most of the time, he only needed to be briefly resettled, but occasionally, he'd wake up completely and stay up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. I also noticed that when he woke up at night, he'd let out really frustrated whines and cries and thrash around in frustration. I knew very well what the problem was, though I hated to admit it: he had absolutely no idea how to soothe himself back to sleep. He didn't want to be awake. He didn't want to depend on me to get back to sleep every single time he woke. But he didn't know what else to do because I'd never given him the opportunity to learn. I realized that I was doing a disservice to my son by not giving him a vital life skill: learning to self-soothe at night.

I knew that having Camden "cry it out" alone in a room was not an option for me. So, I decided to revisit the Sleep Lady Shuffle that we had some moderate success with many months ago but ended up quitting in exhaustion one night. Now, Camden has not been in his crib to sleep for months. I knew it was going to be a battle. So, for a week prior to beginning sleep training, I slept upstairs in his nursery with him on the floor. I wanted him to get used to his room. Then, each day, we'd take 20 or 30 minutes to play in his crib. I felt satisfied that the crib was no longer an unfamiliar place to him, but I still knew it was going to be brutal to get him to sleep in there alone when he's so accustomed to snuggling next to a warm body all night long.

Begin Night One. Camden was in his crib by 8pm. I sat next to his crib in a rocking chair, holding a big glass of wine. He cried off and on for 45 minutes and then fell asleep while he was calm and not crying. I felt so encouraged! He didn't cry himself to sleep! It "only" took 45 minutes. I ran downstairs to tell Matt about my success.

I shouldn't have been so cocky.

Fast forward 30 minutes. A wailing, distraught Camden woke up. He was screaming bloody murder (WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS CAGE?!! WHERE ARE MOMMY AND DADDY?! GET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND!!!!!!!!!).

I sat calmly next to his crib. I rubbed his back. I sang to him. I spoke to him in my most reassuring voice. He was not having it. His face was tear-streaked and his nose was gushing. He was pointing to the bedroom door and saying "Byebyebye" and then pointing to me and saying "Mama!" It was all I could do not to start crying and scoop him out of that crib. I was thisclose to cracking. And I knew it, so I left the room briefly to call for reinforcements.

I found Matt and said to him simply, "I can't do this. You need to take over."

This is the first time that Matt's been actively involved in any of my sleep training efforts (not his fault; I'm just a control freak). But I knew I needed help and I welcomed the reprieve from my frantic, hysterical baby. Matt was only in the nursery for 10 minutes or so before there was silence. I was so sure that he had caved and was rocking Camden to sleep. But a few minutes later, he came downstairs and gave me a thumbs-up sign. Houston, we had a sleeping toddler.

At this point, Matt banished me to our bedroom to sleep (which would've been lovely if I wasn't a nervous basketcase and could actually fall asleep) and took over the rest of the night.

The night wasn't perfect but we didn't expect it to be. Night One never is. But Camden responds to his daddy in a very different way than he responds to me when sleep training. He still cries, but it's not the same level of intensity as when I'm in the room with him. And he settles down more quickly. Plus, Matt's a more level-headed and less emotional person than I am, so it makes sense that he takes the lead this time. He's less likely to give in. Why did I not think of this before?

Sleep Training, I hate you so much. But I feel like this time, we're going to get it right. This time, it will work.