The Lunacy of the Early Days

My earliest days of parenting still make me laugh.

I don't care how many books you read while pregnant or how prepared you think you are---nothing prepares a first-time mom for the earliest days of motherhood.

I think we all start off pretty confidently. When I started to get nervous about impending motherhood while pregnant, I'd simply remind myself how much experience I had with children:

• My brother is 8 years younger than me. Growing up, I did a lot of caring for him while my parents were at work.


• During my summer breaks from college, I taught a 3-year-old preschool class.


• During high school, I tutored elementary & middle school students in reading & math.

See?! No need to worry! I was going to be a pro, I just knew it.

Only, I overlooked a few flaws in my logic. Having your kid brother tag along with you on dates? It's nice and all, and probably not something a lot of teenage girls would be up for, but it hardly qualifies as parenting.

And, when considering my preschool teaching days, I conveniently overlooked the fact that newborns generally don't pop out of the birth canal potty trained & with a fairly extensive vocabulary. I mean, mine didn't.

I don't even have to explain why my "But I was a tutor!" reasoning was flawed. For some reason, helping an eighth grader solve an algebraic equation doesn't really translate to helping a screaming newborn learn how to latch on to nurse.

So, as prepared as I thought I was, I just wasn't. At all.

Two experiences in particular illustrate the incompetence of my early days with Camden better than I could try to explain in words:

When Camden was only a couple of weeks old, a construction worker in our neighborhood cut an underground power line. It was winter, it was freezing outside, and we lost power. Matt had gone back to work. I was alone with a newborn & my house was freezing. Enter: Panic. I bundled Camden up and huddled under a blanket with him on the couch. Surely, the power would come back on soon. Only, it didn't. I watched as our thermostat dropped from 70 to 67 to 58 degrees.

Now, this might prove to be a very tough situation if we had been snowed in. Or, if I lived in the middle of a hundred acre farm with no neighbors or relatives for miles & miles. Or, if I didn't have a car. None of these obstacles existed. In fact, my parents are only a 30 minute drive away. And my sister? Well, she lives a few houses down from us. And she hadn't lost power that day. So, why was I panicking? Hormones, I guess. And new motherhood.

I called my mom who instructed me to walk down to my sister's house. I very clearly remember crying and telling her that I couldn't get Camden and myself ready ALL BY MYSELF! And then, because she is fantastic (and because she was probably a little concerned about my mental state), she drove all the way to my house to drive Camden & me to my sister's house-- just down the road. Ridiculous, I know.

And, my second Early Days Parenting Fail:

Camden was probably 3 weeks old. He was sleeping on my chest while Matt and I watched TV. All of a sudden, he sat up, turned bright red and gallons of projectile spit up came flying out of his mouth. I screamed. And handed him to Matt. And then screamed some more. And yes, I asked Matt if I should call 911. Can you imagine how that call would've gone?

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Me: It's my son! A bunch of white stuff just came flying out of his mouth!!! SEND HELP IMMEDIATELY!

Dispatcher: Ma'am, are you telling me that you need an ambulance because your son just spit up?

Yes, motherhood is tough-- especially in those earliest days. It doesn't matter what titles you've held on your resume in your previous life. And it doesn't matter that you spent your entire pregnancy engrossed in "Babywise" and "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It's still a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, trial and error learning experience.

But it's also the most amazing, fulfilling, rewarding, and humbling experience you'll ever have.