The Sibling Bond

One of my favorite things about being a mom of two is watching Camden and Macey's relationship with each other. When our attempts at IUI failed back before Macey was conceived and we were considering throwing in the towel on reproductive medicine, the thing that made me the saddest was thinking about Camden never getting to experience having a sibling.

I grew up as the middle child, smack in between my older sister and younger brother. I don't feel like I really got the stereotypical middle child experience, though: I was the "baby" of the family until I was 8 years old and my brother was born. Then, when I was 14, my sister left for college, so I got to experience what it was like to be the oldest sibling in the house too. To this day, my siblings are some of my closest friends. I have a very different relationship with each of them; my sister is more like a close friend to me, though I do turn to her for guidance and been-there-done-that parenting advice from time to time. My little brother is also a friend to me, but I have some motherly, protective feelings towards him too. This is probably in large part due to our 8 year age gap and the fact that he was my little tag-along buddy whenever I went out with friends (or even boyfriends!) in middle and high school (my parents were pretty clever-- a kid brother makes for an effective chaperone).

So, as I watch Camden and Macey's blossoming relationship, I wonder: will they be best friends? Will Camden feel protective of his little sister the way I feel about my brother? Will they turn to each other for advice? Will they call each other to catch up when they're adults? Will they celebrate holidays together and will their kids play together? I hope so; I want these things so much for them.

This isn't to say that I don't expect fights, competition, and some sibling rivalry. Heck, we're already getting some of that and Macey can't even talk yet. The other day, we were out at breakfast and Camden was playing with that little game where you jump pegs in holes until (ideally) you only have one peg left standing. Macey, who was sitting on my mom's lap, accidentally swatted some of the pegs and sent them clattering onto the floor. Camden, in typical "threenager" dramatic fashion, looked at her accusingly and said, "Macey knocked my game over! That was NOT NICE, Macey!" Of course, like every other time her brother addresses her, Macey just grinned and I had a flash of future "Macey took my toy!" or "Camden came in my room!" arguments that are inevitable.

There are the other moments too, though. There are the many mornings that Camden wakes up and comes into Macey's room and rubs her head and says, "Good morning, Macey." Or the times when we're riding in the car and he looks over to Macey sitting in the carseat next to him and he smiles and says, "Macey likes ridin' in the back with me." One of my favorite moments was when I had the kids in the double stroller, getting ready to take them on a walk. I ran into the garage to get something and when I walked back towards them, I overheard Camden reassuring his sister, "Don't worry, Mace. Mommy just went to get her drink and she will be right back and we will go on our walk." And there's no question about how Macey feels about her big brother. Adoration is a word that comes immediately to mind. She watches him like a hawk, laughing at his antics, and beaming every time he looks in her direction and speaks to her.

But that's the thing about siblings: they fight hard and they love hard. And even your oldest friends can't quite understand you the way a sibling does. After all, you're the product of the same parents, the same upbringing, the same home. It's a unique relationship, and one I'm so happy that both Camden and Macey will get to experience.

The look of love.

I adore them.

 

Buddies.

 

Sharing a snack. (Camden has decided he likes Puffs again. Personally, I think they taste like air.)

 

Bath time laughter. (Yes, Macey is in a laundry basket. Thank you, Pinterest.)