Raising Boys vs. Raising Girls

I remember so clearly sitting in the chair at my optometrist's office when I was about seven months pregnant with Macey. He was making small talk with me while examining my eyes. The conversation went something like this:

Eye Doc: So, do you know the gender yet?
Me: Yep. It's a girl.
Eye Doc: And what do you have at home already?
Me: A boy.
Eye Doc: Man, are you in for a world of difference. Girls are so much easier. It'll probably seem like a piece of cake to you this time around.

And then there were the people who, upon hearing that I was expecting a girl, would immediately say, "Uh oh-- get ready for the drama!"

Granted, we're far from the teenage years now (thank goodness), so it's quite possible that my view on parenting different genders will change down the road. But for now, I will say this: raising Macey has been easier. And it's been harder.

Yes, both. And here's why:

Camden had (has) a slow to warm up temperament. As a three-year-old, that manifests as a boy who asks for permission before engaging in a questionable activity and who feels most comfortable at his cousin's side in his preschool classroom. No big deal. As an infant and toddler, however, his temperament meant extreme stranger anxiety. There was actually a period of time when I would start to sweat and feel anxious when I knew it was time to head to the cash register at the grocery store with Camden in tow. Why? Because I knew that if the cashier dared to speak to him (and of course she always would-- his head full of white hair practically begged to be mentioned), he would scream. And cry. And scream some more. Public outings were an extremely stressful experience for both of us for at least a year.

Macey is my spirited child who has never met a stranger. Yesterday at the grocery store, Macey popped her pacifier out each time we passed another shopper so she could greet them with a very southern sounding, "Hiiiii". And then she'd pop her paci back in until we reached the next person. When we checked out, I was signing the receipt while Macey sat in the shopping cart a couple of feet away from me. A woman approached her and started talking to her: "Hi, pretty girl! How are you? Look at those eyes!" and on and on. I turned to look at Macey's face and wasn't the least bit surprised to see her crinkling up her nose and doing her "show off" smile for the woman. She's an entertainer, that one. She thrives on attention.

So, obviously, taking Macey out in public as both an infant and toddler is much less stressful due to the lack of severe stranger anxiety. In that way, I'd say she's easier.

But. Oh, yes, there's a but. Camden's my little rule follower, through and through. Always has been, probably (hopefully!) always will be. He's not rebellious, he rarely tests boundaries, and it's highly unusual for us to need to tell Camden something more than once. For this reason, I didn't need to do a lot of babyproofing when Camden first started toddling around. If he opened a cabinet I didn't want him playing in, I'd simply say no, and that was that. Every morning when I showered, I'd sit him on the bathroom floor with some toys and I'd take my time, knowing he was perfectly content as long as I was close by.

Macey is-- let's just say, not exactly a rule follower. She has been known to head towards a forbidden object or activity (touching the TV screen, feeding Maggie anything in sight, jumping on the couch, etc.) while staring at Matt or me and shaking her head no. Basically, she's telling us: I'm aware that you're not fond of the decision I'm about to make, but I just can't fight the urge. Our entire house is babyproofed to the max and that still doesn't always keep her out of forbidden cabinets (she's amazingly resourceful, I swear). Showering while Macey is awake is an impossibility. I could lock her in the bathroom with me, but it would take 2.3 seconds before she decided to dive head first into the tub. Or, perhaps she'd forego the tub and splash around in the toilet instead. One thing's for absolute certain: there would be no patiently waiting for me while sitting on the floor.

When it comes to rule following, I'd say Macey is harder.

I could go on forever-- the contrasts between Macey's temperament and Camden's temperament are stark and numerous. But you get the point: my optometrist was both right and wrong in his prediction. And those who swore I was in for a life full of drama once Macey arrived? Well, they were right on in some ways and completely wrong in others (although I'd swap out dramatic for another descriptive-- like wild or maybe spirited).

Know something else? I think very few (if any) of the differences between the two of them are related to their genders. You might've already guessed by my excessive use of the word, but in my opinion, it's all about temperament. I've got a Slow-to-warm-up Boy and a Spirited Girl, but it just as easily could've been the other way around. They both can be sweet; they both can be challenging; they both can be kind; they both can be frustrating; they both can be loving; they both can be moody; they both can be silly; they both can be serious. They're both mine. And they're both perfect.