Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
So I have a blog...
Like many things in my life over the past month (cleaning the house, cooking dinner, wearing makeup...), my blog has been very neglected. It has taken a back seat to a blue-eyed little man with patchy blonde hair. This man pretty much dominates my every waking moment.
It's been almost a month since Camden joined the "outside world". Sometimes it's hard to believe it's only been a month. I think back to our first night home from the hospital. I stared into the red, angry, screaming face of my son every hour on the hour that night and wondered if every night was going to be like that. I think of all the nights he slept on my chest or next to me on the couch because it was the only way I could get him to sleep. I think of the way breast feeding was such a challenge in the beginning. I think of all of these things and I realize- wow, how far we've come in one month.
But, in a way, the month has flown by too. My life pre-baby seems so foreign to me now. There are still so many times that I find myself just watching him sleep and thinking to myself, We created that little person. It's still surreal. I wonder if it will always be.
So, eventually I will start blogging regularly again. And cooking dinner. And becoming anal about cleaning my house. Those things will come with time. For now, I'm just going to soak in all of these moments-- both the good times & the trying times-- with my little guy.
PS- Below is a picture from my 29th birthday gathering a few days ago. Last year, on my 28th birthday, I was getting ready to have surgery. I know what I wished for when I blew out those candles last year. He's sitting in my arms-- both right now and in the picture below. What a difference a year makes.
It's been almost a month since Camden joined the "outside world". Sometimes it's hard to believe it's only been a month. I think back to our first night home from the hospital. I stared into the red, angry, screaming face of my son every hour on the hour that night and wondered if every night was going to be like that. I think of all the nights he slept on my chest or next to me on the couch because it was the only way I could get him to sleep. I think of the way breast feeding was such a challenge in the beginning. I think of all of these things and I realize- wow, how far we've come in one month.
But, in a way, the month has flown by too. My life pre-baby seems so foreign to me now. There are still so many times that I find myself just watching him sleep and thinking to myself, We created that little person. It's still surreal. I wonder if it will always be.
So, eventually I will start blogging regularly again. And cooking dinner. And becoming anal about cleaning my house. Those things will come with time. For now, I'm just going to soak in all of these moments-- both the good times & the trying times-- with my little guy.
PS- Below is a picture from my 29th birthday gathering a few days ago. Last year, on my 28th birthday, I was getting ready to have surgery. I know what I wished for when I blew out those candles last year. He's sitting in my arms-- both right now and in the picture below. What a difference a year makes.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
You don't have to thank me for being a dad.
That's what Matt said to me last night when I passed Camden off to him so I could get a much-needed nap from 9pm-12am. This has become our nightly routine. Then I get up at midnight and take over while Matt goes to bed for the night.
Having a newborn isn't exactly easy. Thank you, Captain Obvious, right? Camden's not even a high-maintenance baby; he simply doesn't care much for sleep at night. He isn't overly fussy and he rarely breaks into an all-out cry. But he will be quietly alert for hours at a time at night. Sometimes, in my state of exhausted delirium, I look at those wide eyes at 4am and all I can do is laugh.
I do nap during the day for at least an hour while he naps. My mom has been coming over a few times during the week to help with housework, dinner, and just preserving my sanity. But still- it's not easy. The nights sometime seem never-ending.
But I know this is a rite of passage into new parenthood. I know it gets better and easier. I know the first couple of months are the hardest.
And no matter how exhausted I am, both emotionally and physically, I can never be too frustrated when I look at his sweet little face. Even if it is in the wee hours of the night.
Last night, as I passed Camden off to Matt so I could climb into my warm bed for a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep, I said, "Thank you."
And that's when he said it: "You don't have to thank me for being a dad."
It was exactly what my exhausted, weary ears needed to hear.
Having a newborn isn't exactly easy. Thank you, Captain Obvious, right? Camden's not even a high-maintenance baby; he simply doesn't care much for sleep at night. He isn't overly fussy and he rarely breaks into an all-out cry. But he will be quietly alert for hours at a time at night. Sometimes, in my state of exhausted delirium, I look at those wide eyes at 4am and all I can do is laugh.
I do nap during the day for at least an hour while he naps. My mom has been coming over a few times during the week to help with housework, dinner, and just preserving my sanity. But still- it's not easy. The nights sometime seem never-ending.
But I know this is a rite of passage into new parenthood. I know it gets better and easier. I know the first couple of months are the hardest.
And no matter how exhausted I am, both emotionally and physically, I can never be too frustrated when I look at his sweet little face. Even if it is in the wee hours of the night.
Last night, as I passed Camden off to Matt so I could climb into my warm bed for a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep, I said, "Thank you."
And that's when he said it: "You don't have to thank me for being a dad."
It was exactly what my exhausted, weary ears needed to hear.
Friday, December 4, 2009
A letter to my mommy
Dear Mom,
I know I am not the best sleeper at night. During the day, I find my bouncy seat quite comfortable. And I love to go for rides in my swing. But during the night? No, thank you. I will only fall asleep if I'm laying right next to you, the closer the better. I enjoy this arrangement we have with one exception: you have got to stop drooling on me. I realize you're incredibly sleep-deprived, but really- I am getting just plain tired of waking up with a puddle of drool in my hair. That's flat-out disgusting, Mommy. We've got to nip this nasty little habit in the bud right now. Hair plastered down by drool is not a good look on anyone, no matter how cute. I'd like my hair to always look fresh and clean. Please reference the picture below, which was taken after my first bath.
Thanks, Mommy. And I know it's only been 2 weeks. We'll get this thing figured out.
Love,
Camden
I know I am not the best sleeper at night. During the day, I find my bouncy seat quite comfortable. And I love to go for rides in my swing. But during the night? No, thank you. I will only fall asleep if I'm laying right next to you, the closer the better. I enjoy this arrangement we have with one exception: you have got to stop drooling on me. I realize you're incredibly sleep-deprived, but really- I am getting just plain tired of waking up with a puddle of drool in my hair. That's flat-out disgusting, Mommy. We've got to nip this nasty little habit in the bud right now. Hair plastered down by drool is not a good look on anyone, no matter how cute. I'd like my hair to always look fresh and clean. Please reference the picture below, which was taken after my first bath.
Thanks, Mommy. And I know it's only been 2 weeks. We'll get this thing figured out.
Love,
Camden
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Obligatory Birth Story
Well, I might as well take advantage of these late nights to catch up on my posting!
I'm posting my birth story because I enjoyed reading other peoples' stories while I was still pregnant. I take that back: maybe I didn't enjoy reading everyone's stories (some of them downright terrified me) but it helped me to feel somewhat prepared. So, here goes nothing.
I went into labor on Friday, November 20th, around 10pm. That day had been pretty uneventful and I remember thinking in frustration that I was sure I was going to have to be induced; I hadn't had a single contraction (Braxton-Hicks or otherwise) all day long. Fast forward to 10:00...Matt was asleep in the recliner and I was watching TV on the couch. And all of a sudden there it was: my first real contraction. Ouch. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was a contraction; all of my worries about delivering on my kitchen floor because I would somehow not recognize that I was in labor promptly disappeared.
For the next few hours, we timed my contractions. Sometimes we'd get excited as they were only 5 minutes apart. I'd be just about ready to call the doctor when 12 minutes would pass without a contraction. Frustrating! Around 2am, just after an extremely intense contraction subsided, I decided that I'd had enough. No, my contractions weren't coming in the textbook "this is when you go to the hospital" manner, but I know my body and I knew they were not going away.
Matt ran around excitedly packing up the car while I called the after-hours line at my OB's office and waited for a call back. Who would be on the other line, I wondered? Dr. Cheesy? Dr. No Eye Contact? One of my favorites? At that point, I really didn't care.
Or so I thought.
I got a call back a few minutes later from a "Dr. Garrett", which struck me as odd because there is no Dr. Garrett in my OB's practice. Surely, this must be a mistake.
Alas, it was not. My OB's office partners with another office and they sometimes cover each other's patients. I knew this, of course. I was told this up front, way back when, at my first appointment. But I tuned it out, because, well, what were the chances that I'd go into labor when one of my five doctors were not on call?
(At this point, I was pretty much feeling like Katherine Heigl's character in "Knocked Up". No, Matt did not leave a profanity-laced message on my doctor's voicemail, much to my dismay).
Dr. Garrett did get a gold star, though, for telling me to go ahead and come to the hospital even though my contractions were still irregular. He felt that since I was GBS+, it made sense to go ahead and start monitoring me.
By the time we got checked in and I was hooked up to all of the fancy hospital equipment, my contractions were coming at 2-3 minute intervals. When they told me that they were officially admitting me instead of sending me back home with an Ambien (something that had been initially threatened), I almost cried I was so happy.
Family started to arrive as contractions started to progress. I made it to 5 cm dilated before requesting an epidural. I think Matt and my mom breathed a sigh of relief for their poor, battered hands when the anesthesiologist finally arrived.
Now, I am one of those people that feared the epidural. I'm not scared of needles and while the prospect of having a large needle inserted into my spine didn't thrill me, it also didn't terrify me. Nope, it wasn't the needle. What scared me was the fact that I'd have no control over my legs. Irrational, probably, but the knowledge that I wouldn't even be able to walk to the bathroom under my own power wasn't a pleasant thought for a control freak like me.
However, after 8 hours of labor, these worries took a backseat to my desire for some pain relief. At that point, I probably would've agreed to numb my whole body if it meant a temporary break from contractions.
And then my epidural failed. Well, half-failed. The right side of my body was so numb that it was completely useless to me. I couldn't even wiggle a single toe on my right foot. But my left leg was ready to run a marathon if I needed it to; there was virtually no numbness at all on my left side. Super. For the record, one-sided contractions still hurt like a bitch. Also? The epidural made me throw up. Thank goodness for Matt's speedy retrieval of the bed pan.
Fast forward many ice chips and relative visits later, and I was ready to bribe my nurse (who was awesome, by the way) to have the anesthesiologist come back and increase my meds. She decided to check my cervix one more time before making that call. And then I heard them, the most beautiful words in the English language: "Do you want to have a baby now?" It was time to push.
Surely pushing would only take 10 or 15 minutes, I reasoned, and then I'd be holding my adorable little bundle in my arms. Wrong. For some reason, my contractions, which had been coming at reliable intervals for the past several hours, decided to take a little vacation when I needed them most. After an hour and a half of pushing with half-ass contractions and very little progress, I was fully convinced that the doctor was a millisecond away from wheeling me into the OR for a C-section.
Thank goodness for my fabulous nurse who suggested we add a little Pitocin to my IV to get my lazy contractions started up again. And start up they did. So, with Matt holding one leg, my mom holding the other, and one of my favorite OB's (who had taken over Dr. Garrett's shift) in the catcher's position, I pushed with every last ounce of strength I had.
"He's almost out!", "There's his head!", "He's got blonde hair!"
All of these statements circulated in my head as I paused again to wait for another contraction.
And then I heard my OB's voice, "Whoa, I think he's just going to come on out right now, without another push from you."
And he did. I guess Camden decided that an hour and a half was far too long to be stuck in a birth canal. Perhaps he could sense his mother's exhaustion. Or maybe he was just anxious to meet his parents. Whatever the reason he decided to crawl out on his own, I was so thankful.
At 2:29pm, on November 21st 2009, I became a mother. Matt became a father. All of the struggles we faced over the past couple of years suddenly made so much sense when we looked at that tiny, perfect face. He was the reason. And he was so worth it.
I'm posting my birth story because I enjoyed reading other peoples' stories while I was still pregnant. I take that back: maybe I didn't enjoy reading everyone's stories (some of them downright terrified me) but it helped me to feel somewhat prepared. So, here goes nothing.
I went into labor on Friday, November 20th, around 10pm. That day had been pretty uneventful and I remember thinking in frustration that I was sure I was going to have to be induced; I hadn't had a single contraction (Braxton-Hicks or otherwise) all day long. Fast forward to 10:00...Matt was asleep in the recliner and I was watching TV on the couch. And all of a sudden there it was: my first real contraction. Ouch. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that it was a contraction; all of my worries about delivering on my kitchen floor because I would somehow not recognize that I was in labor promptly disappeared.
For the next few hours, we timed my contractions. Sometimes we'd get excited as they were only 5 minutes apart. I'd be just about ready to call the doctor when 12 minutes would pass without a contraction. Frustrating! Around 2am, just after an extremely intense contraction subsided, I decided that I'd had enough. No, my contractions weren't coming in the textbook "this is when you go to the hospital" manner, but I know my body and I knew they were not going away.
Matt ran around excitedly packing up the car while I called the after-hours line at my OB's office and waited for a call back. Who would be on the other line, I wondered? Dr. Cheesy? Dr. No Eye Contact? One of my favorites? At that point, I really didn't care.
Or so I thought.
I got a call back a few minutes later from a "Dr. Garrett", which struck me as odd because there is no Dr. Garrett in my OB's practice. Surely, this must be a mistake.
Alas, it was not. My OB's office partners with another office and they sometimes cover each other's patients. I knew this, of course. I was told this up front, way back when, at my first appointment. But I tuned it out, because, well, what were the chances that I'd go into labor when one of my five doctors were not on call?
(At this point, I was pretty much feeling like Katherine Heigl's character in "Knocked Up". No, Matt did not leave a profanity-laced message on my doctor's voicemail, much to my dismay).
Dr. Garrett did get a gold star, though, for telling me to go ahead and come to the hospital even though my contractions were still irregular. He felt that since I was GBS+, it made sense to go ahead and start monitoring me.
By the time we got checked in and I was hooked up to all of the fancy hospital equipment, my contractions were coming at 2-3 minute intervals. When they told me that they were officially admitting me instead of sending me back home with an Ambien (something that had been initially threatened), I almost cried I was so happy.
Family started to arrive as contractions started to progress. I made it to 5 cm dilated before requesting an epidural. I think Matt and my mom breathed a sigh of relief for their poor, battered hands when the anesthesiologist finally arrived.
Now, I am one of those people that feared the epidural. I'm not scared of needles and while the prospect of having a large needle inserted into my spine didn't thrill me, it also didn't terrify me. Nope, it wasn't the needle. What scared me was the fact that I'd have no control over my legs. Irrational, probably, but the knowledge that I wouldn't even be able to walk to the bathroom under my own power wasn't a pleasant thought for a control freak like me.
However, after 8 hours of labor, these worries took a backseat to my desire for some pain relief. At that point, I probably would've agreed to numb my whole body if it meant a temporary break from contractions.
And then my epidural failed. Well, half-failed. The right side of my body was so numb that it was completely useless to me. I couldn't even wiggle a single toe on my right foot. But my left leg was ready to run a marathon if I needed it to; there was virtually no numbness at all on my left side. Super. For the record, one-sided contractions still hurt like a bitch. Also? The epidural made me throw up. Thank goodness for Matt's speedy retrieval of the bed pan.
Fast forward many ice chips and relative visits later, and I was ready to bribe my nurse (who was awesome, by the way) to have the anesthesiologist come back and increase my meds. She decided to check my cervix one more time before making that call. And then I heard them, the most beautiful words in the English language: "Do you want to have a baby now?" It was time to push.
Surely pushing would only take 10 or 15 minutes, I reasoned, and then I'd be holding my adorable little bundle in my arms. Wrong. For some reason, my contractions, which had been coming at reliable intervals for the past several hours, decided to take a little vacation when I needed them most. After an hour and a half of pushing with half-ass contractions and very little progress, I was fully convinced that the doctor was a millisecond away from wheeling me into the OR for a C-section.
Thank goodness for my fabulous nurse who suggested we add a little Pitocin to my IV to get my lazy contractions started up again. And start up they did. So, with Matt holding one leg, my mom holding the other, and one of my favorite OB's (who had taken over Dr. Garrett's shift) in the catcher's position, I pushed with every last ounce of strength I had.
"He's almost out!", "There's his head!", "He's got blonde hair!"
All of these statements circulated in my head as I paused again to wait for another contraction.
And then I heard my OB's voice, "Whoa, I think he's just going to come on out right now, without another push from you."
And he did. I guess Camden decided that an hour and a half was far too long to be stuck in a birth canal. Perhaps he could sense his mother's exhaustion. Or maybe he was just anxious to meet his parents. Whatever the reason he decided to crawl out on his own, I was so thankful.
At 2:29pm, on November 21st 2009, I became a mother. Matt became a father. All of the struggles we faced over the past couple of years suddenly made so much sense when we looked at that tiny, perfect face. He was the reason. And he was so worth it.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
One week old
I looked at the clock through a sleepy haze this morning and said to Matt, "Hey, exactly one week ago at this moment I was getting my epidural." As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized, Wow, that means I have a one week old baby! And what a week it's been-- filled with so much joy, so many sleepless nights, so many tears cried in frustration, so much anxiety about my parenting abilities, and so much love for one tiny person that I can hardly stand it.
I'll be the first to admit: I am definitely in the infamous "survival mode" stage right now. Thank goodness I had read about it and prepared myself for it or I might be convinced that I'm a crazy person who is more fit for a straight jacket than parenthood.
My pre-parenthood way of thinking: I hope I have the baby before Thanksgiving so he can be home for the holidays and meet everyone!
My post-parenthood way of thinking: Oh my gosh, there are germy relatives everywhere and all they want to do is hold him and touch him!
Here are some other things that my first week of mommyhood has taught me that I was not, in any way, prepared for:
-I now fully expect to be peed or pooped on every single time I change a diaper. It's pretty much a given. As soon as that fresh air hits his smooth and adorable bottom, he can't help but shower me with a little gift (or two).
-Sleep is a distant memory. Of course I knew I wouldn't be sleeping in until noon with a newborn baby but I had no idea that I would spend more hours awake than asleep during the night. I also had no idea that I'd learn to be (relatively) functional on 4 hours of sleep.
-Things that I used to find just mildly annoying send me into a near-rage these days. Blame it on the aforementioned lack of sleep or the astronomical amount of hormones surging through my body right now or some combination of the two. But if you ring my doorbell more than once? Get ready to endure the wrath of Kerri. If you don't wash your hands and you touch my perfect little baby? Watch out.
-Post-baby bodies are hard to adjust to. This has nothing to do with weight gain or a somewhat doughy stomach. Thankfully, my weight is coming off quickly and easily so far (knock on wood). It's about the post-partum bleeding. And cramping. And just the general soreness that goes along with being in labor for several hours and pushing a 7 lb baby out of a very small opening. And while I enjoy the size of my new boobies, I don't enjoy how painful they are to the touch. A simple hug makes me wince now. And the cracked, bleeding nipples are just about as pleasant as they sound.
-The crying. Oh, the hormones. I have no coping mechanisms other than crying right now. If you say something remotely insensitive to me right now, I'll cry. If you make me mad, I'll cry. If there's an especially cheesy holiday commerical on TV, you can bet I will be bawling my eyes out by the end of it.
These are just a few of the things that I wish someone had told me to expect just so I wouldn't feel like an insane, frazzled new mom.
But all of these things are a very, very minuscule price to pay for my precious son who is undoubtedly the love of my life. There are absolutely no words to describe the bond I felt with Camden from the moment he was placed on my chest one week ago today. It's an all-consuming, powerful, and selfless love. It's knowing that there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do to protect him. It's wanting the very best things for him, regardless of the sacrifices those things might require of me.
When I was pregnant, I often felt like I was in love with someone I'd never even met. And then the moment I did meet him- that long awaited, magically surreal moment when his eyes first met mine- I felt like I had known him my whole entire life. He was meant for me, for us. I may be unsure of a lot of things as I flounder around aimlessly as a new parent, but that is one thing that I am absolutely certain of.
Happy birthday, Camden.
I'll be the first to admit: I am definitely in the infamous "survival mode" stage right now. Thank goodness I had read about it and prepared myself for it or I might be convinced that I'm a crazy person who is more fit for a straight jacket than parenthood.
My pre-parenthood way of thinking: I hope I have the baby before Thanksgiving so he can be home for the holidays and meet everyone!
My post-parenthood way of thinking: Oh my gosh, there are germy relatives everywhere and all they want to do is hold him and touch him!
Here are some other things that my first week of mommyhood has taught me that I was not, in any way, prepared for:
-I now fully expect to be peed or pooped on every single time I change a diaper. It's pretty much a given. As soon as that fresh air hits his smooth and adorable bottom, he can't help but shower me with a little gift (or two).
-Sleep is a distant memory. Of course I knew I wouldn't be sleeping in until noon with a newborn baby but I had no idea that I would spend more hours awake than asleep during the night. I also had no idea that I'd learn to be (relatively) functional on 4 hours of sleep.
-Things that I used to find just mildly annoying send me into a near-rage these days. Blame it on the aforementioned lack of sleep or the astronomical amount of hormones surging through my body right now or some combination of the two. But if you ring my doorbell more than once? Get ready to endure the wrath of Kerri. If you don't wash your hands and you touch my perfect little baby? Watch out.
-Post-baby bodies are hard to adjust to. This has nothing to do with weight gain or a somewhat doughy stomach. Thankfully, my weight is coming off quickly and easily so far (knock on wood). It's about the post-partum bleeding. And cramping. And just the general soreness that goes along with being in labor for several hours and pushing a 7 lb baby out of a very small opening. And while I enjoy the size of my new boobies, I don't enjoy how painful they are to the touch. A simple hug makes me wince now. And the cracked, bleeding nipples are just about as pleasant as they sound.
-The crying. Oh, the hormones. I have no coping mechanisms other than crying right now. If you say something remotely insensitive to me right now, I'll cry. If you make me mad, I'll cry. If there's an especially cheesy holiday commerical on TV, you can bet I will be bawling my eyes out by the end of it.
These are just a few of the things that I wish someone had told me to expect just so I wouldn't feel like an insane, frazzled new mom.
But all of these things are a very, very minuscule price to pay for my precious son who is undoubtedly the love of my life. There are absolutely no words to describe the bond I felt with Camden from the moment he was placed on my chest one week ago today. It's an all-consuming, powerful, and selfless love. It's knowing that there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do to protect him. It's wanting the very best things for him, regardless of the sacrifices those things might require of me.
When I was pregnant, I often felt like I was in love with someone I'd never even met. And then the moment I did meet him- that long awaited, magically surreal moment when his eyes first met mine- I felt like I had known him my whole entire life. He was meant for me, for us. I may be unsure of a lot of things as I flounder around aimlessly as a new parent, but that is one thing that I am absolutely certain of.
Happy birthday, Camden.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Love of my life
We welcomed Camden into the world on Saturday, November 21st, at 2:29pm. He was 7 lbs, 9 oz and 21.5 inches at birth. More to come later. I am, as you can imagine, slightly occupied right now. Here's my little man:
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Camden's birthday?
Let's hope so! We're at the hospital right now and have been since about 3:30am. I started having contractions around 10pm tonight, but they were pretty sporadic. I ended up calling the doctor at 2:30 or so and he thought it would be a good idea for me to come in due to being GBS+ and needing 4 hours of antibiotics before delivery.
Currently, I'm 3cm dilated and my contractions are every 2-3 minutes. And remember my post about being worried about not knowing whether or not I'm in labor? Umm, yeah- there's no way that can happen. Contractions really can't be mistaken for anything else. I guess I should've trusted everyone's advice!
Matt's sleeping in the chair next to me right now. My parents are on their way over to the hospital and Matt's parents are on their way up from South Carolina. Hopefully we will have a baby later today- the sooner, the better!
(PS- No epidural yet, but you can bet that I am getting one!)
Currently, I'm 3cm dilated and my contractions are every 2-3 minutes. And remember my post about being worried about not knowing whether or not I'm in labor? Umm, yeah- there's no way that can happen. Contractions really can't be mistaken for anything else. I guess I should've trusted everyone's advice!
Matt's sleeping in the chair next to me right now. My parents are on their way over to the hospital and Matt's parents are on their way up from South Carolina. Hopefully we will have a baby later today- the sooner, the better!
(PS- No epidural yet, but you can bet that I am getting one!)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Yay for progress!
After sitting in an exam room that felt like a sauna for an hour, I finally got to see Dr. No Eye Contact. By this time, my butt was so sweaty it was stuck to the paper covering the exam table and my bladder felt like it was going to explode. As you can probably imagine, a cervical exam was about the last thing I wanted at that point.
But! I got some great and encouraging news which made my sweaty wait worthwhile.
**Drumroll, please**
I am: 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and Camden is at -1 station. What are stations, you ask? Or, at least I assume you're asking yourself this because I had absolutely no clue that stations even existed up until a couple of weeks ago. My understanding is this: stations range from -3 to +3 and are reflective of where the baby is located. Once the baby is at 0 station, he or she is said to be fully engaged. At +3 station, the baby is crowning. In a nutshell? My feeling that Camden has been trying to head-butt his way out over the past week or so is pretty accurate.
Now, I'm a pretty realistic person. I know that, feasibly, I could be "stuck" in this phase for another couple of weeks. But guess what?! I won't be. Know why? Because, at the very latest, they will induce me the Monday after Thanksgiving. They would hope to induce me the Friday after the holiday, but it will just depend on the doctors' vacation schedules. Even as Dr. No Eye Contact was talking induction with me, she said that she really thought Camden would come on his own in the next few days.
So. If I'm still pregnant next Wednesday, I will go in for an ultrasound and NST (fetal non-stress test). Then we'll schedule the induction for either Friday or Monday. Let me repeat: if I'm still pregnant. Hopefully I won't be.
Either way, though, my sweet little boy will be here very, very soon. Yay for progress!
But! I got some great and encouraging news which made my sweaty wait worthwhile.
**Drumroll, please**
I am: 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and Camden is at -1 station. What are stations, you ask? Or, at least I assume you're asking yourself this because I had absolutely no clue that stations even existed up until a couple of weeks ago. My understanding is this: stations range from -3 to +3 and are reflective of where the baby is located. Once the baby is at 0 station, he or she is said to be fully engaged. At +3 station, the baby is crowning. In a nutshell? My feeling that Camden has been trying to head-butt his way out over the past week or so is pretty accurate.
Now, I'm a pretty realistic person. I know that, feasibly, I could be "stuck" in this phase for another couple of weeks. But guess what?! I won't be. Know why? Because, at the very latest, they will induce me the Monday after Thanksgiving. They would hope to induce me the Friday after the holiday, but it will just depend on the doctors' vacation schedules. Even as Dr. No Eye Contact was talking induction with me, she said that she really thought Camden would come on his own in the next few days.
So. If I'm still pregnant next Wednesday, I will go in for an ultrasound and NST (fetal non-stress test). Then we'll schedule the induction for either Friday or Monday. Let me repeat: if I'm still pregnant. Hopefully I won't be.
Either way, though, my sweet little boy will be here very, very soon. Yay for progress!
Monday, November 16, 2009
I wrapped Christmas presents last night.
It's November 16th. In years past, I don't think I've ever had presents wrapped before, like, December 23rd. And if we're being brutally honest, that's mostly because the majority of my shopping wasn't done before then.
See, the thing is, I have no idea what to expect in my life AB (After Baby). I read blogs and hear stories from people about how they have no earthly clue how they made it through the first few months after bringing a newborn home. They call it "survival mode". They allude to the fact that they didn't shower for days in a row. Sleep was a figment of their imagination, a distant memory left over from their lives PB (Pre Baby).
So I tried to picture myself with a greasy ponytail, sweats covered in spit-up, walking around in a sleep-deprived haze trying to find time to shop for and wrap Christmas presents. Seemed like a good recipe for most of the people on my shopping list this year ending up with a homemade "I Owe You" coupon and an apologetic shrug.
Then late last night, after the presents were wrapped and stacked neatly on the dining room table, I came across a posting on a community forum I participate in. The forum is dedicated to moms who are due in November 2009. One particular thread on the forum caught my eye. It was a new mom, whose baby had been home from the hospital for a week, and she labeled her thread "I am SO bored at home with baby!"
What the......?
Her posting basically said that there are only so many hours in a day she can sit around and stare at a sleeping baby. She was bored and restless. After one week home with a new baby.
Now I don't know who to believe. Am I going to be a sleep-deprived zombie who will be lucky to shower in the month of December? Or am I going to be like this particular poster, watching my peacefully sleeping baby while lamenting to strangers on the internet that I really need to find myself a hobby?
I feel pretty strongly that I already know the answer to this question. Stay tuned.
See, the thing is, I have no idea what to expect in my life AB (After Baby). I read blogs and hear stories from people about how they have no earthly clue how they made it through the first few months after bringing a newborn home. They call it "survival mode". They allude to the fact that they didn't shower for days in a row. Sleep was a figment of their imagination, a distant memory left over from their lives PB (Pre Baby).
So I tried to picture myself with a greasy ponytail, sweats covered in spit-up, walking around in a sleep-deprived haze trying to find time to shop for and wrap Christmas presents. Seemed like a good recipe for most of the people on my shopping list this year ending up with a homemade "I Owe You" coupon and an apologetic shrug.
Then late last night, after the presents were wrapped and stacked neatly on the dining room table, I came across a posting on a community forum I participate in. The forum is dedicated to moms who are due in November 2009. One particular thread on the forum caught my eye. It was a new mom, whose baby had been home from the hospital for a week, and she labeled her thread "I am SO bored at home with baby!"
What the......?
Her posting basically said that there are only so many hours in a day she can sit around and stare at a sleeping baby. She was bored and restless. After one week home with a new baby.
Now I don't know who to believe. Am I going to be a sleep-deprived zombie who will be lucky to shower in the month of December? Or am I going to be like this particular poster, watching my peacefully sleeping baby while lamenting to strangers on the internet that I really need to find myself a hobby?
I feel pretty strongly that I already know the answer to this question. Stay tuned.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Still Cooking
Yep, I am still baking this little boy. It's funny to me now that I went through the whole worrying about pre-term labor phase a while back (you know, because I like to look for things to obsess over). Now I feel seriously doubtful that he'll be ready to join the outside world before Thanksgiving (which, for those who are counting, is a week past my due date).
Maybe I feel that way because I don't think I've been having any contractions-- or at least not the real, productive kind. I say "think" because I have absolutely no freakin' clue what a contraction feels like. Every time my doctor asks me if I've been having contractions, I tell him that I don't think so. Then he kind of smiles and says, "Well, maybe you're just going to be one of those lucky women that have a completely pain-free labor and delivery." He's used that same joke during my last 3 visits. Sometimes I'm tempted to complete his sentence for him.
Because of my lack of contractions (or my lack of ability to detect them), it's crossed my mind that I might be going into labor on my kitchen floor one of these days. And that's problematic because Matt is very squeamish and wouldn't be of much use to me. The few people I've mentioned this irrational fear to have laughed at me. "Trust me, you'll know when you're going into labor", they say. So I'm trying to trust that I will just know, that there's really no gray area when it comes to real labor; that I won't just go to the bathroom one of these days and see a tiny head looking up at me.
And as uncomfortable as I am right now (I swear he's trying to head-butt his way out sometimes), I have been enjoying my last few weeks of free time--- of "me time". I've slept in, a lot. I've napped during the day. I've shopped with my mom. I've stayed up late eating popcorn and watching DVR'd shows with Matt. Tonight we enjoyed a relaxing dinner out as we watched other couples chase their toddlers around the restaurant. I'm enjoying these moments, trying to really soak them all in, as I continue to bake this tiny guy who's about to change my world.
Maybe I feel that way because I don't think I've been having any contractions-- or at least not the real, productive kind. I say "think" because I have absolutely no freakin' clue what a contraction feels like. Every time my doctor asks me if I've been having contractions, I tell him that I don't think so. Then he kind of smiles and says, "Well, maybe you're just going to be one of those lucky women that have a completely pain-free labor and delivery." He's used that same joke during my last 3 visits. Sometimes I'm tempted to complete his sentence for him.
Because of my lack of contractions (or my lack of ability to detect them), it's crossed my mind that I might be going into labor on my kitchen floor one of these days. And that's problematic because Matt is very squeamish and wouldn't be of much use to me. The few people I've mentioned this irrational fear to have laughed at me. "Trust me, you'll know when you're going into labor", they say. So I'm trying to trust that I will just know, that there's really no gray area when it comes to real labor; that I won't just go to the bathroom one of these days and see a tiny head looking up at me.
And as uncomfortable as I am right now (I swear he's trying to head-butt his way out sometimes), I have been enjoying my last few weeks of free time--- of "me time". I've slept in, a lot. I've napped during the day. I've shopped with my mom. I've stayed up late eating popcorn and watching DVR'd shows with Matt. Tonight we enjoyed a relaxing dinner out as we watched other couples chase their toddlers around the restaurant. I'm enjoying these moments, trying to really soak them all in, as I continue to bake this tiny guy who's about to change my world.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
GBS +
I had my 38 week check up today. They didn't bother to check me for dilation this time since: a) absolutely nothing was going on when they checked last week and b) I haven't been having any contractions. He did tell me, however, that I had the "green light" to go into labor anytime I wanted now. Call me crazy but I'm still hoping to continue baking this little boy for a couple more weeks.
He also told me that I tested positive for Group B Strep. I think our (very one-sided) conversation went something like this: "You tested positive for Group B Strep, which is not uncommon. We'll just give you antibiotics when you go into labor. So, what's new with you?"
And that was pretty much it. So I wasn't really worried about it until I got home and consulted Dr. Google. Why do I do this to myself? I hate Dr. Google so much, and yet, I can't seem to stay away from him.
In order to avoid being committed into an insane asylum during these last couple of weeks of pregnancy, I am going to force myself to break up with Dr. G and trust my doctors-- you know, the real-life people that know my medical history and examine me weekly? I do trust that I'm in good hands with them.
PS- I got my H1N1 vaccination yesterday. Finally. My mom hunted it down at a random Walgreens. I'm convinced there's nothing that woman can't do.
He also told me that I tested positive for Group B Strep. I think our (very one-sided) conversation went something like this: "You tested positive for Group B Strep, which is not uncommon. We'll just give you antibiotics when you go into labor. So, what's new with you?"
And that was pretty much it. So I wasn't really worried about it until I got home and consulted Dr. Google. Why do I do this to myself? I hate Dr. Google so much, and yet, I can't seem to stay away from him.
In order to avoid being committed into an insane asylum during these last couple of weeks of pregnancy, I am going to force myself to break up with Dr. G and trust my doctors-- you know, the real-life people that know my medical history and examine me weekly? I do trust that I'm in good hands with them.
PS- I got my H1N1 vaccination yesterday. Finally. My mom hunted it down at a random Walgreens. I'm convinced there's nothing that woman can't do.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
37 week thoughts
I'm on the eve of what is likely to be the biggest transition period of my life.
In just a few short weeks, I'm going to be a mom. I'm going to be a mom. Why do those words still look foreign to me? Why, despite the finished nursery and persistent kicking in my belly, does it still feel surreal?
It's funny because everything I've done up to this point in my life now feels largely insignificant compared to this monumental journey I'm about to embark on. They say that when you become a parent, it's the first time you truly experience totally selfless love. And I can already feel the transition taking place where my life and my decisions are no longer about me but about him. It's amazing how fiercely protective you can feel of someone you've never even met. It's incredible how you want only the best things life has to offer for this tiny being that's a complete stranger to you.
I am so thankful. Yes, for this baby, for my son-- but also for the road we walked to get to this point. Really, I mean that.
Sometimes it's overwhelming to think of all the ways my life is going to change. Sometimes I can't believe that I am being entrusted with the most awesome responsibility that exists. Sometimes I feel downright terror.
But most of the time? Most of the time I think of that moment when I first meet my son. And I know that in that moment, nothing else will matter. In that moment, I will be a mom.
In just a few short weeks, I'm going to be a mom. I'm going to be a mom. Why do those words still look foreign to me? Why, despite the finished nursery and persistent kicking in my belly, does it still feel surreal?
It's funny because everything I've done up to this point in my life now feels largely insignificant compared to this monumental journey I'm about to embark on. They say that when you become a parent, it's the first time you truly experience totally selfless love. And I can already feel the transition taking place where my life and my decisions are no longer about me but about him. It's amazing how fiercely protective you can feel of someone you've never even met. It's incredible how you want only the best things life has to offer for this tiny being that's a complete stranger to you.
I am so thankful. Yes, for this baby, for my son-- but also for the road we walked to get to this point. Really, I mean that.
Sometimes it's overwhelming to think of all the ways my life is going to change. Sometimes I can't believe that I am being entrusted with the most awesome responsibility that exists. Sometimes I feel downright terror.
But most of the time? Most of the time I think of that moment when I first meet my son. And I know that in that moment, nothing else will matter. In that moment, I will be a mom.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
High & Closed.
That's how my cervix was described to me today at my very first check for dilation. Honestly, I was completely fine with that for two reasons: 1) Matt is going out of town at the end of the week for a couple of days and I had completely convinced myself that I'd go into labor while he is gone. 2) I want to be able to get the freakin' H1N1 vaccination and have time for the antibodies to kick in so this little guy will have some protection when he makes his debut right smack in the middle of this terrible cold and flu season.
So...the cervix check. Um, ouch. I didn't know what exactly to expect, and I'm not sure what exactly was going on down there, but I can tell you what it felt like. It felt like the NP had her entire arm shoved up there. And I'm pretty sure she did because all of a sudden I heard, "Oh! Well, there's his head."
I also had the pleasure of having my Strep B swab today (otherwise known as the rectal swab). Honestly, it wasn't bad at all. I would take 10 of those swabs over a cervix check any day. I do have to say, though, that I enjoyed my OB appointments much more when they didn't require so much poking, prodding, and swabbing. And now my appointments are weekly. Super.
And, finally, the H1N1 vaccination. If you've read some of my prior posts, you might already know that I've decided to get the shot. And you might also know that this decision is problematic, as I have not been able to find this elusive vaccine anywhere. So, I was pleasantly surprised to learn today that my OB's office is getting in 500 doses next week and will probably be holding a flu shot clinic for all of their pregnant patients. Hallelujah. It's about time.
So...the cervix check. Um, ouch. I didn't know what exactly to expect, and I'm not sure what exactly was going on down there, but I can tell you what it felt like. It felt like the NP had her entire arm shoved up there. And I'm pretty sure she did because all of a sudden I heard, "Oh! Well, there's his head."
I also had the pleasure of having my Strep B swab today (otherwise known as the rectal swab). Honestly, it wasn't bad at all. I would take 10 of those swabs over a cervix check any day. I do have to say, though, that I enjoyed my OB appointments much more when they didn't require so much poking, prodding, and swabbing. And now my appointments are weekly. Super.
And, finally, the H1N1 vaccination. If you've read some of my prior posts, you might already know that I've decided to get the shot. And you might also know that this decision is problematic, as I have not been able to find this elusive vaccine anywhere. So, I was pleasantly surprised to learn today that my OB's office is getting in 500 doses next week and will probably be holding a flu shot clinic for all of their pregnant patients. Hallelujah. It's about time.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I met Camden last night.
Don't worry- I am still very much pregnant.
But I had my first real Camden dream. I've had a few baby dreams throughout this pregnancy, but none that were specifically related to my baby. For example, I've dreamed that I picked up a baby and promptly dropped him. I've also dreamed that I couldn't figure out how to support a baby's neck and was holding some nameless, faceless baby as his head rolled all around. A little creepy, I know.
So last night, it was definitely Camden that I was dreaming about. We were home from the hospital. He could talk. He asked Matt to wipe his nose because it was runny. And then he asked to play with Maggie (my dog). You know that character, Stewie, from that show "Family Guy"? That's kind of what his voice sounded like. Is that weird? Wait- don't answer that.
But I had my first real Camden dream. I've had a few baby dreams throughout this pregnancy, but none that were specifically related to my baby. For example, I've dreamed that I picked up a baby and promptly dropped him. I've also dreamed that I couldn't figure out how to support a baby's neck and was holding some nameless, faceless baby as his head rolled all around. A little creepy, I know.
So last night, it was definitely Camden that I was dreaming about. We were home from the hospital. He could talk. He asked Matt to wipe his nose because it was runny. And then he asked to play with Maggie (my dog). You know that character, Stewie, from that show "Family Guy"? That's kind of what his voice sounded like. Is that weird? Wait- don't answer that.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Flu, colds, and baby showers
You know, initially I never gave any thought to the fact that I'll be having a baby right smack in the middle of cold and flu season--- and a terrible flu season at that. Now it's impossible for me to not think about it, as headlines scream out at me each morning about H1N1, vaccinations, pregnant women, etc.
I've taken as many precautions as possible- I wash my hands obsessively and carry hand sanitizer with me whenever I venture out into the public. I'm no longer working, so that limits some of my daily exposure, but Matt's still working so it's not like I'm entirely away from the risk. Plus, I can't really live my life in a bubble.
One of the most frustrating things for me is the H1N1 vaccination. I realize there's a lot of debate over whether or not to get it-- is it safe? Has it been tested enough? Was it thrown together sloppily? How much thimerosal does it contain? And on and on. Yes, I've asked myself these questions a couple million times too, but ultimately, based on my gut feeling (and the advice of my doctors) I have decided to get the vaccination. Which leads me to the next problem- where on earth is this shot? I know it varies from state to state, but locally, it's not currently available. My OB's office is getting the shot in, but only for staff members. A lot of pediatrician's offices have it available right now, but only in the nasal mist form, which is strictly off-limits to pregnant women. Our local health department had some last week but promptly ran out of it when thousands of people showed up to be vaccinated. It's just so frustrating to me that all we keep hearing is how pregnant women are high risk and need to be vaccinated, but we can't find the vaccine anywhere!
On a much happier note, I had two baby showers this past weekend. The first was a shower that Matt's co-workers threw for him at a restaurant on Friday night. It was very thoughtful of them and we had a great time. On Saturday, I had my baby shower which was hosted by my mom and my sister. It was a jungle-themed shower (to go along with my nursery theme) and you wouldn't believe the intricate detail that went into the planning of this shower. From the homemade tiger and monkey cupcakes to the zebra table runner and jungle animals center-piece, it was very apparent how much thought and effort they put into everything and it turned out perfect.
Unfortunately, we had a couple of last minute drop-outs (not surprisingly, due to cold/flu symptoms-ughh), but still had such a great time. A lot of my family from Richmond, VA made the road trip down here and my childhood best friend showed what a trouper she is by making the long haul from the DC area all by herself to help us celebrate.
We really, really lucked out in the gifts department too. It's almost embarrassing how much stuff we got. I was really struck by the thoughtfulness of some of the gifts (a onesie that said "I was worth the wait", a tiny, custom-made t-shirt that pictured a baseball diamond and said "Camden's Yard", and plenty of Redskins, Orioles, and Virginia Tech Hokies gear so that this child has no choice but to be a sports fan like his daddy). We also really lucked out and received a lot of the larger items on our registry and tons of the basic baby necessities. Bottom line? My friends and family are amazing.
Now, for some pictures:
The cute center-piece:
My sister-in-law made this diaper cake:
Monkey cupcakes:
Tiger cupcakes:
Some of the guests:
My wonderful hosts:
Games:
I've taken as many precautions as possible- I wash my hands obsessively and carry hand sanitizer with me whenever I venture out into the public. I'm no longer working, so that limits some of my daily exposure, but Matt's still working so it's not like I'm entirely away from the risk. Plus, I can't really live my life in a bubble.
One of the most frustrating things for me is the H1N1 vaccination. I realize there's a lot of debate over whether or not to get it-- is it safe? Has it been tested enough? Was it thrown together sloppily? How much thimerosal does it contain? And on and on. Yes, I've asked myself these questions a couple million times too, but ultimately, based on my gut feeling (and the advice of my doctors) I have decided to get the vaccination. Which leads me to the next problem- where on earth is this shot? I know it varies from state to state, but locally, it's not currently available. My OB's office is getting the shot in, but only for staff members. A lot of pediatrician's offices have it available right now, but only in the nasal mist form, which is strictly off-limits to pregnant women. Our local health department had some last week but promptly ran out of it when thousands of people showed up to be vaccinated. It's just so frustrating to me that all we keep hearing is how pregnant women are high risk and need to be vaccinated, but we can't find the vaccine anywhere!
On a much happier note, I had two baby showers this past weekend. The first was a shower that Matt's co-workers threw for him at a restaurant on Friday night. It was very thoughtful of them and we had a great time. On Saturday, I had my baby shower which was hosted by my mom and my sister. It was a jungle-themed shower (to go along with my nursery theme) and you wouldn't believe the intricate detail that went into the planning of this shower. From the homemade tiger and monkey cupcakes to the zebra table runner and jungle animals center-piece, it was very apparent how much thought and effort they put into everything and it turned out perfect.
Unfortunately, we had a couple of last minute drop-outs (not surprisingly, due to cold/flu symptoms-ughh), but still had such a great time. A lot of my family from Richmond, VA made the road trip down here and my childhood best friend showed what a trouper she is by making the long haul from the DC area all by herself to help us celebrate.
We really, really lucked out in the gifts department too. It's almost embarrassing how much stuff we got. I was really struck by the thoughtfulness of some of the gifts (a onesie that said "I was worth the wait", a tiny, custom-made t-shirt that pictured a baseball diamond and said "Camden's Yard", and plenty of Redskins, Orioles, and Virginia Tech Hokies gear so that this child has no choice but to be a sports fan like his daddy). We also really lucked out and received a lot of the larger items on our registry and tons of the basic baby necessities. Bottom line? My friends and family are amazing.
Now, for some pictures:
The cute center-piece:
My sister-in-law made this diaper cake:
Monkey cupcakes:
Tiger cupcakes:
Some of the guests:
My wonderful hosts:
Games:
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Pre-Pregnancy Jeans
Someone (hi, Courtney) asked me if I was wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans in some of my maternity pictures. The answer is both yes and no. You see, my sister (the photographer) had this vision of me wearing my old jeans with the top button undone so we wouldn't have any elastic waist band shots. It sounded like such a good idea to me.
Fast forward to a few nights before we left for the beach. Oh, I thought to myself, Which of my cute old jeans shall I bring? I tried on one pair and got them up to my thighs before they refused to go any farther. It's okay, I told myself, You probably washed them after the last time you wore them so they're a little tighter than normal (nevermind the 22 pounds I've gained- it couldn't be that!). I figured out that it probably was those extra 22 pounds after all when my next pair of old jeans didn't make it past my knees. I settled for the jean capris I'm wearing in the picture which were always a bit loose on me pre-pregnancy.
Now, I have to say I felt a little ridiculous in the jean capris/blank tank top outfit during the photo shoot. Let's just say clothes that are that tight aren't my normal choice of pregnancy fashion, but I trusted my sister's vision for the pictures and I'm very happy with how they turned out. It was worth feeling like a pregnant hussy as I paraded around the beach in my painted-on capris with my belly hanging out.
Fast forward to a few nights before we left for the beach. Oh, I thought to myself, Which of my cute old jeans shall I bring? I tried on one pair and got them up to my thighs before they refused to go any farther. It's okay, I told myself, You probably washed them after the last time you wore them so they're a little tighter than normal (nevermind the 22 pounds I've gained- it couldn't be that!). I figured out that it probably was those extra 22 pounds after all when my next pair of old jeans didn't make it past my knees. I settled for the jean capris I'm wearing in the picture which were always a bit loose on me pre-pregnancy.
Now, I have to say I felt a little ridiculous in the jean capris/blank tank top outfit during the photo shoot. Let's just say clothes that are that tight aren't my normal choice of pregnancy fashion, but I trusted my sister's vision for the pictures and I'm very happy with how they turned out. It was worth feeling like a pregnant hussy as I paraded around the beach in my painted-on capris with my belly hanging out.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Hospital Tour & 5 Year Anniversary
I remember making the phone call to set up my hospital tour back in April or May. The lady on the other end of the line kind of laughed and me and said, "Oh honey, you're going to want to wait until you're about a month away from your due date before you do the Labor & Delivery Tour. That way, everything will be fresh in your mind." I agreed with her reasoning, but was a little disappointed anyway. I was newly pregnant at that point and just wanted to do everything pregnant women were supposed to do- right away! And, back then, October seemed sooo far away. Well, our tour took place last night and while the tour itself wasn't overly exciting, it seemed like another milestone we reached before meeting our little one.
Anyway. There were about 10-12 very pregnant ladies on this tour with their husbands and/or baby's daddies (and when I say very pregnant, I mean one of the women was due the next day). So, we were all getting a little winded walking around the Labor & Delivery unit. We paused in a delivery room for about 20 minutes while we got lectured on the hospital's policies and . There were 3 chairs in this particular delivery room and 2 pregnant women sat proceduresdown right away. Guess who took the third chair? One of the women's husbands! Seriously?
Something I'm not thrilled about? Our hospital isn't allowing any visitors under the age of 18 due to the H1N1 virus. That means my adorable nephews won't be able to meet their new cousin until I come home from the hospital. I understand why the precaution is in place; it's just disappointing. I have read that other hospitals are restricting visitors to the daddy/birth partner only so I suppose I should count my blessings.
On another note, Matt and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary last week. We were at the beach with my family and I woke up on the morning of our anniversary to Matt telling me to put my glasses on. He had the laptop sitting on the bed and started a slideshow as soon as I was able to open my eyes and focus. There were pictures of us throughout the past several years we've been together while "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds Five played in the background. Maybe it was partly the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn't stop crying as pictures of us flashed across the screen. We just looked so young and I realized how much we've grown up together. We've been together about 7 and a half years total now. And though we didn't exactly plan it this way, I told him that I felt like the 5 year wedding anniversary milestone was the perfect time to make the transition from "couple" to "family".
Anyway. There were about 10-12 very pregnant ladies on this tour with their husbands and/or baby's daddies (and when I say very pregnant, I mean one of the women was due the next day). So, we were all getting a little winded walking around the Labor & Delivery unit. We paused in a delivery room for about 20 minutes while we got lectured on the hospital's policies and . There were 3 chairs in this particular delivery room and 2 pregnant women sat proceduresdown right away. Guess who took the third chair? One of the women's husbands! Seriously?
Something I'm not thrilled about? Our hospital isn't allowing any visitors under the age of 18 due to the H1N1 virus. That means my adorable nephews won't be able to meet their new cousin until I come home from the hospital. I understand why the precaution is in place; it's just disappointing. I have read that other hospitals are restricting visitors to the daddy/birth partner only so I suppose I should count my blessings.
On another note, Matt and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary last week. We were at the beach with my family and I woke up on the morning of our anniversary to Matt telling me to put my glasses on. He had the laptop sitting on the bed and started a slideshow as soon as I was able to open my eyes and focus. There were pictures of us throughout the past several years we've been together while "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds Five played in the background. Maybe it was partly the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn't stop crying as pictures of us flashed across the screen. We just looked so young and I realized how much we've grown up together. We've been together about 7 and a half years total now. And though we didn't exactly plan it this way, I told him that I felt like the 5 year wedding anniversary milestone was the perfect time to make the transition from "couple" to "family".
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
35 weeks (well, almost)
Just about one more month to go (um, yikes)!
I had my 35 week check-up today and met the last doctor in the practice that I needed to meet. Honestly? I liked them all. There are some I liked better than others, but no one that I met and thought Oh my gosh, this person cannot deliver my baby. But. There is one doctor in the practice that has a little trouble with eye contact. Basically, she looks right past you when talking to you. It's the weirdest thing. I sometimes try to discretely shift into her line of vision while she's chatting with me, but to no avail. She still looks away. So that might be a little awkward come delivery time but nothing I can't deal with.
So what's on the agenda at my next appointment? To sum it up, lots of swabbing. I'll have my first cervix check and will also be getting a vaginal and rectal swab. I know, I know- I'm a lucky girl. It's to test for Strep B, which is standard. Still- call me immature, but the words rectal swab really made me cringe.
And since I've used the word "rectal" a few too many times in this post, I will try to make up for it by leaving you with some of my maternity shots from the beach. Call it even?
I had my 35 week check-up today and met the last doctor in the practice that I needed to meet. Honestly? I liked them all. There are some I liked better than others, but no one that I met and thought Oh my gosh, this person cannot deliver my baby. But. There is one doctor in the practice that has a little trouble with eye contact. Basically, she looks right past you when talking to you. It's the weirdest thing. I sometimes try to discretely shift into her line of vision while she's chatting with me, but to no avail. She still looks away. So that might be a little awkward come delivery time but nothing I can't deal with.
So what's on the agenda at my next appointment? To sum it up, lots of swabbing. I'll have my first cervix check and will also be getting a vaginal and rectal swab. I know, I know- I'm a lucky girl. It's to test for Strep B, which is standard. Still- call me immature, but the words rectal swab really made me cringe.
And since I've used the word "rectal" a few too many times in this post, I will try to make up for it by leaving you with some of my maternity shots from the beach. Call it even?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Unemployment
Friday, October 2nd was my last day at the job I've worked at since graduating from college over 6 years ago. As expected, there were a million different emotions that went along with moving on from a place where I really feel like I grew up-- mainly sadness to leave some of the best co-workers (and friends) ever and excitement about this next chapter in my life.
I kicked off my first week of unemployment by taking a trip to the beach with my family. We had a great time and my very talented sister even took my maternity pictures while we were there (which I promise to post very soon). But, for now, I wanted to give you a taste of the unemployed life (well, at least until Camden arrives...then I'm pretty sure my unemployed life will not even remotely resemble this picture):
I kicked off my first week of unemployment by taking a trip to the beach with my family. We had a great time and my very talented sister even took my maternity pictures while we were there (which I promise to post very soon). But, for now, I wanted to give you a taste of the unemployed life (well, at least until Camden arrives...then I'm pretty sure my unemployed life will not even remotely resemble this picture):
Sunday, September 13, 2009
30 weeks!
How far along? 30 weeks, 3 days
Total weight gain: 20 lbs total; 2 lbs in the past 2 weeks
Maternity clothes: Yep. And I just bought my first pair of maternity jeans, which I love. I'm all about the elastic waist band now. I'll hate to go back to a regular zipper and buttons.
Sleep: It's been rough since my L&D trip. My lower back aches all night now.
Best moment this week: Mom working on the nursery! I can't wait to get some pics posted.
Movement: Um, yes. And it's very clear that he's running out of space in there.
Gender: He's got a penis.
Labor signs: No way.
Belly button in or out: In, but very flat. It's very interesting looking.
What I miss: Being able to do our nighly walks with Maggie without getting completely winded.
What I am looking forward to: Our beach trip in a few weeks!
Milestones: I don't know why, but 30 weeks seems like a big milestone to me. It really feels like the home stretch!
Before viewing the picture below, let me tell you about a little conversation I had with an NP at CVS's Minute Clinic. Matt and I went there to get our flu shots, which turned out to be a failure of a trip (she felt uneasy about giving the shot to me while pregnant, which in turn made me feel uneasy about her so I ended up declining the shot). Anyway, she asked me 3 or 4 times what trimester I am in. I kept replying with the same answer: 3rd trimester. She seemed surprised each time I answered but didn't say much. Then, as we were leaving, she said, "You know, I would've guessed you were maybe in your second trimester but just hadn't popped yet."
Um...okay. Now go ahead and view the picture below. I haven't popped yet?! Then I suppose she thought I was smuggling a basketball into the clinic??
To Camden
Cam,
I keep thinking I need to write an updated letter to you. In fact, I thought about it several times this morning before getting sidetracked and moving on to a new task. However, I'm going to take the swift kicks to my ribs as a sign that you'd like to me to sit down and begin this letter. Point taken, son. Now calm down a bit. My ribs deserve a break.
Here we are, really and truly in the home stretch. I think back to where we were one year ago and it's astonishing. We were just finishing up all of our testing through Dr. P's office and getting ready to embark on our first round of fertility treatments. Of course, we'd soon come to find out that I'd require surgery. And very shortly after that surgery, I became pregnant with you.
But it wasn't easy, even after seeing that positive pregnancy test. We had a few scares in the beginning, and we weren't sure if you were here to stay with us. That was one of the most difficult times for Daddy and me.
Then came the ultrasounds that proved to us that you were, in fact, strong and here to stay. Every day I spent with my head hung over the toilet, I'd think about your little flickering heart beat on the ultrasound screen and I'd remind myself how worth it every minute of this journey has been. Your first movements- just a few flutters- came shortly thereafter. Then you graduated to full-fledged kicks, rolls, and punches. I still watch my stomach shifting in awe. And your dad loves to feel you move against his back when we're sleeping at night.
We're just about ready for you here, Camden. Pretty soon, we'll all get to meet you, even though in a lot of ways, I feel like I already know you well. I've said this before but it's worth repeating: your dad and I are new at this, and we're going to be learning as we go. Of course we'll make mistakes. We'll never be perfect parents (and you'll probably remind us of this fact when you're a teenager). But the one thing I can guarantee is that you will always be so very loved.
See you soon!
Mommy
I keep thinking I need to write an updated letter to you. In fact, I thought about it several times this morning before getting sidetracked and moving on to a new task. However, I'm going to take the swift kicks to my ribs as a sign that you'd like to me to sit down and begin this letter. Point taken, son. Now calm down a bit. My ribs deserve a break.
Here we are, really and truly in the home stretch. I think back to where we were one year ago and it's astonishing. We were just finishing up all of our testing through Dr. P's office and getting ready to embark on our first round of fertility treatments. Of course, we'd soon come to find out that I'd require surgery. And very shortly after that surgery, I became pregnant with you.
But it wasn't easy, even after seeing that positive pregnancy test. We had a few scares in the beginning, and we weren't sure if you were here to stay with us. That was one of the most difficult times for Daddy and me.
Then came the ultrasounds that proved to us that you were, in fact, strong and here to stay. Every day I spent with my head hung over the toilet, I'd think about your little flickering heart beat on the ultrasound screen and I'd remind myself how worth it every minute of this journey has been. Your first movements- just a few flutters- came shortly thereafter. Then you graduated to full-fledged kicks, rolls, and punches. I still watch my stomach shifting in awe. And your dad loves to feel you move against his back when we're sleeping at night.
We're just about ready for you here, Camden. Pretty soon, we'll all get to meet you, even though in a lot of ways, I feel like I already know you well. I've said this before but it's worth repeating: your dad and I are new at this, and we're going to be learning as we go. Of course we'll make mistakes. We'll never be perfect parents (and you'll probably remind us of this fact when you're a teenager). But the one thing I can guarantee is that you will always be so very loved.
See you soon!
Mommy
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Just because it's cute.
Our second 4d ultrasound wasn't any more successful. Camden was still snuggled up in my placenta. We tried everything to get him to shift positions. The tech shook my belly like crazy, she had me stand up and do stretches, and she got me a drink of cold water. And still, he stayed put. On the plus side: at least he was awake this time. He kept moving his little arms. He seems to be especially fond of putting his wrist into his mouth- a move we saw several times during the 15 minute ultrasound.
Anyway, this picture is also low quality because half of his face is still covered by the placenta, but look at that smile!!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Introducing...
I figured it was about time to let you all in on our little guy's name, since I'm so sick of typing "him", and "the baby" when I blog about him.
So, on or around November 19, we will be welcoming Camden Miller into the world.
Camden is just a name Matt and I both instantly liked. In Matt's case, his affection for the name may or may not have something to do with this little venue:
We chose Miller as his middle name pretty much immediately after finding out we were having a boy. You might remember that my grandfather passed away back in May. His middle name was also Miller, so we thought naming Camden after him would be a nice tribute to a very special person who is missed more every day.
So, there you have it. Oh, and we'll be going to see Camden again on Wednesday evening. The 4d ultrasound place squeezed me in at 5:45pm for our retakes. Hopefully he'll be a little less fond of my placenta this time around.
So, on or around November 19, we will be welcoming Camden Miller into the world.
Camden is just a name Matt and I both instantly liked. In Matt's case, his affection for the name may or may not have something to do with this little venue:
We chose Miller as his middle name pretty much immediately after finding out we were having a boy. You might remember that my grandfather passed away back in May. His middle name was also Miller, so we thought naming Camden after him would be a nice tribute to a very special person who is missed more every day.
So, there you have it. Oh, and we'll be going to see Camden again on Wednesday evening. The 4d ultrasound place squeezed me in at 5:45pm for our retakes. Hopefully he'll be a little less fond of my placenta this time around.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Nesting, much?
Oh, the nesting phase. I kind of wondered how this inevitable stage of pregnancy would affect me since I have a tendency to be compulsively neat anyway. Well, it has officially arrived. And how am I handling it? Check it out for yourself:
First, I decided to organize all of the baby's clothes by size (newborn, 3-6 months, 6-12 months). I then labeled and bagged each pile and put them in the laundry room for my baby laundry marathon day. Hey, at least I didn't start that already.
First, I decided to organize all of the baby's clothes by size (newborn, 3-6 months, 6-12 months). I then labeled and bagged each pile and put them in the laundry room for my baby laundry marathon day. Hey, at least I didn't start that already.
Hmm, what next?! My house was already clean, so I wracked my brain for something else to "fix". Ah, perfect- my Tupperware! It looks like it needs to be organized, and this seemed like an essential task to get out of the way before the baby arrives. Why, I don't know.
You know what else? My pots and pans have no real organization. This must be fixed. Right this very minute. Oh, and do you see Maggie in the background? Are you wondering why she's wearing a sweater in mid-August when I live in the south? Well, it's because she was wet and therefore cold. Why was she wet, you ask? Well, because, I washed her too. No one is safe.
The best part? Nesting seems to be contagious, or at least it was yesterday. While I pulled every pot and pan we own out onto on our kitchen floor, Matt was diligently cleaning out every drawer in the house. Because you never know when the baby might need to find a pen or notepad...you know, while cooking up some dinner in our neatly organized kitchen.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Not exactly how we planned it...
We had our 3d/4d ultrasound done this morning. I had a feeling that we were going to have a sleepy little boy on our hands, as I hadn't felt much movement this morning prior to the appointment. I chugged a glass of orange juice on the way there, hoping that would wake him up. No such luck. He had a late night last night, and he was sleeping it off.
While I was prepared to see a sleeping baby today, I was not prepared to see a baby with the placenta covering his entire face. The tech tried her hardest to get some clear face shots, but he was nuzzled down face-first in my placenta, sleeping away. I mean, I'm glad he's comfortable and all, but it was a little disappointing not to be able to see his little features clearly.
As we were wrapping up, the tech told me I could come back and try again if I wanted. I think I'll take her up on that in a couple of weeks (considering it'll be free next time). My placenta won't move, of course, but hopefully he'll have shifted a bit so he's not face-planted right into it. It's worth a shot, right?
Here are a couple of the pictures we did get that were somewhat clear. You can see his features, but keep in mind that it's through the placenta, as if he's holding a sheet over his face. I do love the little hand tucked under his chin as he sleeps, I have to say.
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